


The Beard (J2/Jensen x Reader) 18+

by neganslucilletblr



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Bearding, Blowjobs, Closeted Character, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, M/M, Multi, Polyamorous Character, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Pre-Poly, Rimming, Sex, Smut, Threesome, bottom!Jared, p in a, p in v, top!Jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:29:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 62,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neganslucilletblr/pseuds/neganslucilletblr
Summary: Jared and Jensen are a secret the world can’t find out. When their management insists they hire a beard to protect their images they are less than happy with the arrangement. Pretending to be in love with someone other than Jared is going to be hard for Jensen…right?
Relationships: Jensen Ackles & Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles & Jared Padalecki & Reader, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki/You, Jensen Ackles/Reader, Jensen Ackles/You
Comments: 20
Kudos: 45





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Part Tags: smut, dirty talking, fake smut, flirting, teasing, fluff, angstish, blowjob (male giving)
> 
> Part WC: 2794

_**Jensen’s POV** _

His hands gripped her hips harder as he pulled her back into him, his teeth sinking into the flesh on the back of her shoulder as she moaned, reaching back to grip at his wrist, grinding back into him. He growled, feeling her nails dig into his skin. 

“Oh fuck, baby, right there,” she gasped, mouth falling open, eyes fluttering closed as her legs started to shake and Jensen made sure he had a good enough grip on her waist. 

“Yeah? You like that? Fuck,” he groaned, pressing his face into the side of her neck. Her hands suddenly splayed out against the wall she was pressed against, fingers gripping in search of something to hold onto. Her breathing was heavy, littered with moans and whimpers as she hung her head low between her shoulders and Jensen smoothed his hand up from her hip to her breast and held it roughly. She moaned louder, and Jensen growled once more. 

“Cut! Think we got it that time.” Jensen felt Y/N relax in his hold and he instantly removed his hand from her breast, being careful not to let her go too suddenly as she straightened up and took the robe she was being offered. Jensen took his own and shrugged it on. 

“You okay? Didn’t bite too hard did I?” Jensen checked, trying to catch a glimpse of her shoulder as it disappeared behind white cotton. 

“No, it was fine, Jen,” she giggled, smirking slightly. Jensen felt the warmth of his own robe engulf him as he wrapped himself in it and covered up. The modesty pouch his junk had been stuffed into was starting to annoy him, they weren’t exactly built for comfort. They were designed to hide what they needed to whilst making him seem naked, so go figure. 

“Please tell me I can get changed,” Y/N grumbled to him as they stepped down off the set and headed towards the buffet table. Mick, the director of the movie, approached them both with a smile. 

“Good work today guys, that’s all we need so you can head home for the night,” he confirmed. 

“Thanks man,” Jensen nodded, “see you in the morning.” 

“Thank god for that,” Y/N giggled, clutching the opening of her robe closed. 

  
  


The temperature had dropped a little as they stepped out into the lot in pursuit of their trailers and Jensen could feel the cold through his robe but didn’t comment on it. 

“Any plans for the night?” he asked Y/N. 

“Nah, been a tiring day so I’m gonna get a take out and chill,” she shrugged. “You?” 

“Just the usual,” he replied, stopping outside her trailer. She smirked at him as she stopped to stand in front of him. “What?” Jensen prompted with a chuckle.

“Nothing, you’re just so boring,” she teased, flashing him a wink. Jensen laughed softly and shook his head. 

“Yeah, well…” he trailed off and offered her a shrug instead. 

“There’s more to life than hanging out with your best friend every night, you know?” 

  
  


“Thought you were my best friend now?” he teased, shifting the focus onto her. 

“Well, obviously,” she rolled her eyes and giggled as she started to hug herself. “I wanna meet him by the way, from the photos I’ve seen he’s hotter than you and you know I’m single right?” she told him playfully. Jensen’s eyebrows raised at her comment. 

“You think Jared is hotter than me?” he questioned with a smirk. 

“It’s a close call,” she told him, biting her bottom lip. Jensen scoffed and then cleared his throat.

“I’ll tell him you said that,” he warned. 

“Is he single? You can give him my number if you want?” she laughed. Jensen bit his bottom lip and looked down to his feet. 

“It’s cold out here, you should get inside and get dressed,” he commented. She glanced to her trailer door and back at him. 

“Wanna come in for a drink?” she asked. Jensen cleared his throat. 

“I have a sock on my dick and nothing else under this robe, I should probably get dressed too, but raincheck?” he asked with a soft chuckle. She nodded, seeming a little disappointed.  
“Sure, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Have fun hanging out with your hotter friend,” she winked, turning and heading up her trailer steps.

  
  


Jensen chuckled quietly to himself as he continued walking, heading to his trailer next door. He stepped up to the door and let himself in, feeling the warmer air hit him as he headed towards the bedroom in search of his clothes from earlier. His cell beeped on the side and he grabbed it to see he had a couple of texts and a missed call from Jared. He immediately rang back, letting the ringing fill his ears as he pulled his robe off and instantly untied the pouch to find some relief from its restraint. At least the design somewhat stopped him getting too aroused, what with all the rubbing and grinding and sex stuff, sometimes it just naturally happened regardless of whether or not he was actually turned on. He pulled the pouch off and lay back on the bed naked for a moment, feeling the relief of freedom.

“Hey you,” Jared’s voice filled his ears. Jensen smiled warmly. 

“Hey, sorry I was still filming,” he told him. 

“It’s fine, I assumed so, was just wondering what time you were coming back, I was thinking of ordering pizza.”

“Pizza sounds good, I’m just getting dressed and I’ll be on my way back. I can pick it up if you like?” he offered. 

“Sure, that sounds good to me.” 

  
  


Jensen heard a knock at his trailer door and looked out of his bedroom door in its direction. He got up with a sigh and grabbed his jeans, pulling them on. 

“I gotta go, I’ll call you back.” He hung up before Jared could reply, eager to get his jeans all the way on as he headed to his trailer door. He was finishing buttoning them when he opened it to reveal Y/N again. She was dressed now in a simple dress and a denim jacket. 

“Hey, sorry Jen,” she flustered. “I just-” she stopped and glanced around. “Can I come in a second?” she asked. Jensen stepped to one side and headed towards his bedroom again in pursuit of a shirt. Although Y/N had seen almost everything already thanks to the graphic nature of the film, it seemed inappropriate to be undressed around her when it wasn’t necessary. The moment he met Y/N they clicked, getting on like a house on fire. It was very much the same as when he met Jared at the beginning of _Supernatural_ two years before. They became good friends almost straight away. There was still another couple of months of filming for their movie together, but Jensen knew, like with other movies he’d worked on, that he wouldn’t get to see Y/N as much as he ever saw the cast of _Supernatural_. Filming shows was always different to filming movies. 

  
  


“What’s up, sweetheart?” Jen pressed as he grabbed a t-shirt and pulled it over his head. 

“I just - I didn’t like the conversation we had back there,” she confessed. 

“No?” Jensen frowned, wondering what he’d said to upset her. 

“No, I feel like I gave you the wrong impression, that maybe I’m interested in Jared,” she admitted, how awkward she was feeling was clear on her face. 

“You’re not?” he checked. She bit her bottom lip and shook her head. Jensen felt a sense of relief at the confirmation. 

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, Jared is…” She raised her eyebrows, but didn’t finish her sentence, “But I’m not interested in him.”  
“Okay, I wasn’t actually going to give him your number,” Jensen laughed softly. 

“Jen, I’m interested in you,” she blurted out. Jensen’s eyes widened at her statement. 

  
  


“Oh,” was the only thing he could find to say after a moment. How had he not noticed that before? He and Y/N often flirted and teased, but he’d never considered it to be anything serious, he was in a relationship - but she didn’t know that. “I’m urm… I’m with someone,” he admitted with a blush.  
“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” she flustered immediately. 

“It’s okay, I don’t really talk about my private life, we are kinda keeping it under wraps for now,” Jensen informed her. 

“Yeah, you’ve never mentioned her,” Y/N cleared her throat, clearly feeling awkward. Jensen wanted so badly to tell her more, but he couldn’t. 

“Listen, Y/N, you’re gorgeous and if I was single-”

“You don’t have to do that Jen,” she interrupted him. 

“No, I’m being honest,” Jensen reassured her. 

“Okay, well… I’m gonna go, and pretend that I never said anything and if you can please do the same and I will see you tomorrow.” She didn’t even look at him as she headed for his trailer door and opened it. 

“Night, Y/N,” Jensen called after her and sighed heavily once she’d left. He really needed to pay better attention, he should’ve seen that coming from a mile away. 

  
  


-

  
  


As Jensen stepped through the door he kicked it shut behind him, hands full with the pizza box. 

“There you are, where did you go for the pizza, Italy?” Jared’s voice could be heard from the couch in front of the TV and he paused it when Jensen approached. Jensen smirked and placed the pizza down on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Oh ha ha, you know how it goes; try to leave set and a million people need to see you,” he complained, finally slumping down next to Jared, relaxing back against the couch. Jared glanced over at him with a small smirk before leaning in and pressing his lips to Jensen’s. 

“How was your day?” he asked softly, his face still close. Jensen sighed, not even wanting to think about it. It had been a long day, full of nudity and fake sex and then Y/N’s confession too. Jensen knew Jared wouldn’t want to hear about any of that. He wasn’t a jealous guy and he was fully aware of the type of movie Jensen was currently shooting, but Jensen didn’t want to bore him with details about his sex scene with someone who wasn’t him. A woman, no less. Jensen had noticed the few times Dean had any kind of sex scene on the show that Jared would make himself scarce. 

  
  


“Tiring, don’t wanna think about it,” Jensen complained, gripping the back of Jared’s neck and pulling him in for another kiss. This one was deeper. It wasn’t a _hello I’ve missed you all day_ kiss, it was a _I need you_ kiss. Jared clearly got the message as he shifted in his seat to face Jensen better and clung to his shirt. Jensen’s tongue glided softly over Jared’s bottom lip and he was granted access to his mouth, their tongues pressing against each other as the kiss deepened further. Jensen’s mind wandered to Y/N, finally allowing himself to feel jealous at the way she talked about how attractive Jared was, unknowingly gushing over his boyfriend. Jared’s fingers digging into his chest through his shirt grounded him, bringing him back to the taste of Jared on his tongue and the warmth of him soaking into his skin, and he relaxed a little more. 

“Not hungry are you?” Jensen mumbled against Jared’s lips. He felt Jared smirk as his hand rubbed down Jensen’s torso and over the growing lump in his jeans. 

“Not for pizza,” he whispered. 

Jensen matched Jared’s smirk and chuckled, “good.” 

  
  


Jared took that as his permission to proceed, and quickly began thumbing open Jensen’s jeans, revealing his half hard cock, and Jensen remembered rushing to put his jeans on and forgoing boxers when Y/N had arrived at his trailer earlier that night. And immediately his mind wandered to her confession only an hour before. She liked him. And he so desperately wanted to correct her when she commented that Jensen had never talked about _her._ He wanted more than anything to tell her that the reason he spent every night with Jared was because Jared was more than his best friend and co-star. Jared was his lover - his _person._ But he couldn’t. 

  
  


Very few people knew the truth, only a couple of their closest friends and family, and it was safer that way. Even if they wanted to come out, they knew they couldn’t. They had to think of the show. But one day. They always promised each other _one day,_ and although Jensen knew neither of them believed it, they said it anyway. Some blind faith that maybe someday the world would know the truth about their relationship. Maybe it would be years down the line, maybe not until the show finished. But it would be someday, he’d make sure of it. 

  
  


Jared’s lips left Jensen’s and Jensen gasped for air as Jared shuffled to get comfortable, laying across the couch, his face now close to Jensen’s crotch. Jensen instantly placed a hand on the back of Jared’s head, fingers weaving through his long hair, and he bucked his hips the second Jared gripped the base of his cock. 

“Fuck, baby,” Jensen grumbled, feeling Jared’s breath on his skin, his erection throbbing in Jared’s hand as he waited on baited breath. Jared finally wrapped his lips around Jensen’s tip and sucked it clean of precum, swirling his tongue in a way that made Jensen hiss every time. Jared’s eyes flickered up to Jensen’s face and a smug grin settled on his lips around Jensen’s girth. Jensen bit his bottom lip and threw his head back onto the couch when Jared started taking him deeper, whilst twisting his hand and tugging upwards to meet his lips. Jensen gasped for breath, his fingers tugging on Jared’s hair as he squeezed his eyes shut, and Jared whimpered around him, grinding himself into the couch. 

  
  


Jensen let go of Jared’s hair and smoothed the hand down his back to palm at his ass. His free hand took over gripping at Jared’s head as he softly bucked his hips up into Jared’s mouth. Jared moaned as Jensen’s fingers slipped through his ass cheeks, rubbing at his hole through his jeans and he started bucking his hips back into Jensen’s touch. Just as Jensen rubbed his hand up towards the waistband of Jared’s jeans to get inside, his cell started ringing in his pocket.

“Fuck,” he grumbled. He decided to ignore it the second Jared sucked harder, Jensen’s tip hitting the back of his throat, but Jared reached into Jensen’s pocket and pulled his cell handing it to him and he’d made his point clear. Jensen scoffed, but took the phone with the hand that had been in Jared’s hair. He looked at the caller ID.

“It’s Ashley,” he told Jared, a moan in his voice despite his best efforts, and he wondered if answering the call was a good idea. It was hardly professional to talk to your manager with your cock down your boyfriend’s throat. Jared didn’t seem deterred as he only took Jensen deeper, so Jensen cleared his throat and tried to steady his breathing before answering, shaking his head when Jared looked up at him and giggled slightly. 

  
  


Jensen answered as calmly as possible, “hey, Ash.” The thrill of what they were up to - what Ashley was hopefully blissfully unaware of - was only turning him on more as he slid his hand under the waistband of Jared’s jeans and boxers and sought out finding Jared’s tight hole. 

“Jensen, hey, How are you?” she asked.

“Good thank-”

“Great - listen, we need to have a meeting,” Ashley interrupted him. 

“Now?” Jensen pressed, frowning slightly, his finger now hovering over Jared’s puckered hole. 

“No, not now, your diary says you’re free on Thursday, two days’ time. Jared needs to be there too, ten am okay?” she got out quickly. Jensen pulled his hand out of Jared’s jeans and sat up a little, prompting Jared to remove him from his mouth as he frowned at Jensen’s reaction. 

  
  


Thursday was meant to be his date day with Jared, but he couldn’t tell Ashley that when they’d spent the last two years trying to hide their relationship from their management. 

“Jared too? Why? Is it about the show?” Jensen asked as Jared knelt beside him and watched his face closely, like he was trying to listen in on the conversation. 

“No, Jensen, it’s about your relationship with Jared.” Jensen swallowed hard, looking up at Jared, and judging by the look on his boyfriend’s face, Jensen knew Jared had heard that part loud and clear. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: Angst, shower sex, blowjob, dry humping, mut masturbation, m/m, kissing, H2H, coming out
> 
> Part WC: 2688

Jensen hadn’t slept. He’d laid awake, Jared’s arm around his torso, his messy bed head occasionally resting on his chest, and he’d stared at the ceiling almost all night thinking about the conversation he’d had with his manager. 

_ “No, Jensen, it’s about your relationship with Jared.”  _

_ “Wha-what about my relationship with Jared?” Jensen stammered out, swallowing thickly. A frown tugged on Jared’s handsome features. Playing innocent was the only game plan Jensen could come up with at such short notice. Maybe they could lie their way out of this.  _

_ “We’ll discuss it on Thursday.” She hung up at that and Jensen dropped his phone to the couch, quickly doing up his jeans to hide his now totally limp cock.  _

_ “Jen-” Jared swallowed, looking at him with wide, fearful eyes and Jensen knew exactly what Jared was thinking.  _

_ “It’s okay, baby,” he reassured him, placing a hand on his thigh.  _

_ “What if they get us to break up?” Jared voiced Jensen’s biggest fear. Jensen clenched his jaw tight at the very thought. He wanted to tell Jared they couldn’t do that, but they both knew that was a lie.  _

_ “I won’t let them, baby I love you, nothing is changing that.”  _

_ Jared didn’t seem convinced, and it was probably because Jensen wasn’t convinced himself. He hadn’t lied; he did love Jared and he knew nothing was going to change that, but he wasn’t sure he could stop them from splitting them up.  _

_ “She just said our relationship, that can mean friendship too,” Jensen argued weakly. Jared didn’t seem like he bought Jensen’s feeble attempt to reassure him, so Jensen sat up straighter and pulled Jared in by the back of his neck.  _

_ “We’re going to be okay, baby, I promise you.” Jensen kissed him hard and Jared took a moment to respond, but he eventually did.  _

But Jensen didn’t even believe himself then and he definitely didn’t now. Especially now he’d had longer to think about all the ways they could come between him and Jared, all the things they could hold over their heads. It angered him to no end; what was so wrong with them being together? Being gay was becoming more and more accepted in Hollywood. Sure, there was still some stigma, there always would be, he supposed, but he couldn’t - no  _ wouldn’t -  _ live his life like this forever. One day he wanted the whole world to know how he felt about Jared. But he realised that he had a responsibility to the show, they both did. If them coming out damaged that in any way then they couldn’t do it. Not yet. 

By the time five am rolled around, Jensen gave up and carefully slipped out from underneath Jared to head to the bathroom for a shower. He kept the water cool, needing something to wake him up before coffee, and washed his body three times whilst he was so deep in thought. He needed someone other than Jared to talk to, and he could reach out to Jeff or someone else that knew about their relationship, but he didn’t want to bother them with it. He felt hands on his waist and jumped, realising Jared had stepped into the shower.

“Fuck, you scared the shit outta me, Jar,” Jensen grunted. Jared giggled, pressing up behind Jensen and kissing the back of his neck. 

“You’re up early,” he noted. 

“Yeah, wanna get to set in time,” Jensen lied, turning around to face him. 

Jared’s long hair was turning a shade or two darker under the water from the shower as it started to hang in front of his face. He flicked his head to remove it from his eyes and Jensen almost got splashed with the water. Jared giggled at Jensen’s flinch for safety and Jensen smirked in return. 

“You’re an asshole,” Jensen grumbled. Jared curled a finger under Jensen’s chin. 

“I’m  _ your  _ asshole,” he corrected. 

“Hm, yes you are,” Jensen agreed with a smirk, the uneasy feeling in his stomach settling just a little with the way Jared looked at him. Jared reached for the body wash and squeezed some into his palm, before lathering it in his hands and proceeding to rub over Jensen’s chest and torso. 

“I’m clean,” Jensen protested. “You on the other hand-” Jensen shoved Jared back against the tiled wall, his back thudding against it with a wet slapping sound. Jared gasped and smirked as Jensen grabbed the body wash for himself and lathered some between his palms, reaching up to rub his hands over toned muscle and tanned skin. He loved Jared’s body, always had, but the last year or so Jared had really been working on bulking up and it suited him. Soon he’d be able to pick Jensen up and throw him around like a ragdoll if he wanted. Not that Jensen was going to let that happen; their dynamic had always been clear since they got together. Over the two years they’d experimented once or twice with trying to switch things up, but Jensen was just naturally the giver, and Jared the receiver. Neither of them had ever complained about that arrangement. 

Jensen pinned Jared against the wall with an arm across his chest, his other hand spreading soap suds along Jared’s torso, down below his belly button and across his hips. Jared whimpered against the touch, bucking his hips forward, and Jensen glanced down to notice just how hard Jared had become. About as hard as Jensen was on his way to being. Jensen let his hand wander closer, wrapping his fingers around his length and, starting with slow strokes, he began his work. Jared moaned, the sound echoing around the bathroom as he clung to the back of Jensen’s neck and his eyes fluttered closed. Jensen’s arm slipped from pinning him to the wall once he knew Jared was going to stay put, and reached down to wrap his hand around his own erection as he set to work on pleasing them both. The tips of their noses brushed together as Jensen ghosted his lips over Jared’s and felt his laboured breathing hitting his mouth. 

Placing a soft kiss to Jared’s lips, Jensen began to move his mouth down Jared’s neck, over his sternum and down the centre of his chiseled chest, down and down until he was dropping to his knees, and Jared’s hands were gripping the back of his head. Jared groaned, looking down as water dripped from his hair. His bottom lip disappeared between his teeth as Jensen leaned in closer, his breath fanning over Jared’s long, hard cock. Jared’s fingers gripped harder, and Jensen took the encouragement to wrap his lips around his boyfriend’s cock, sucking and swirling his tongue before starting to take him deeper. 

“Fuck, Jen,” Jared groaned loudly, tipping his head back and thrusting his hips forward so the tip of his cock was pressing against the back of Jensen’s throat. Jensen worked Jared well between his lips, licking and sucking all the sweet spots along Jared’s length that he’d discovered over time, and Jared began cursing and gasping for breath above him. 

“Fuck baby, I’m close already,” Jared growled. Jensen pulled back, placing a kiss on Jared’s thigh before rising back to his full height. “Dick,” Jared grumbled in protest. 

“Taking of dicks -” Jensen murmured, grabbing Jared’s hand and guiding it towards his cock, “-feel how hard I am for you, baby?” he asked. Jared moaned once his hand wrapped around Jensen’s thick, throbbing cock, and he took the opportunity of Jensen stepping closer still to press their cocks together, his hand big enough to hold both of them. Jensen groaned at the feeling of Jared’s hard, soft velvet skin trapped with his, and also wrapped a hand around the both of them as they found a rhythm to thrust together, their mouths now pressed firmly together in a passionate kiss. Curses and mumbles of praise echoed between them as they both chased their releases, until both their hands were covered in the white tackiness of their rewards and Jensen pressed his forehead to Jared’s shoulder to recover. Jared’s clean hand gripped the back of Jensen’s head as he bent down and kissed Jensen’s forehead. 

“I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Jensen grumbled, “but I gotta go.” He reluctantly stepped back, washed his hand and gave his body one last rinse before kissing Jared softly one last time and stepping out of the shower. 

Grabbing a towel, he wrapped it around his waist and watched as Jared started to wash himself properly, grabbing the shampoo to lather into his hair. The lines and curves of Jared’s back were mesmerizing. Jensen had memorised every inch over the last two years, knew every freckle and every scar. He felt the heaviness return to his heart when he thought about management getting what they inevitably wanted, which is the two of them apart. But Jensen couldn’t -  _ wouldn’t -  _ give this up for anything. He was sure of that at least. 

-

“I can’t do it, Lizzie,” he shouted, “I can’t just walk away from you, you know I can’t.” She turned around to look at him with tears in her eyes. 

“Then don’t walk! No one is making you leave, Ryan.” Jensen bit back tears, he searched for his lines but couldn’t find them. 

“You know this isn’t right… you know we can’t keep this secret for forever, it’s eating me alive,” he confessed, the tears finally making their escape. Y/N seemed thrown off by his improvisation for a moment but quickly rolled with it. 

“Me too, but it’s worth it, right? It’s worth all this?” she stepped forward and reached up to cup his face. “Like I said, Ryan,” she told him softer, his character’s name reminding him what all this really was. “No one is making you leave.” She delivered him his cue again and once more Jensen searched for his line as he stared at her through bleary eyes. 

“Good, because I don’t want to,” he finally spluttered out, gripping the back of her neck and kissing her passionately. 

He kissed her and thought about Jared. He kissed her and thought about how much he didn’t want to walk away from him. He kissed her and thought about how he wasn’t Ryan just then, he was himself, he was Jensen and he was desperate. He was desperate to keep Jared around. Y/N clung to his shirt and kissed him back just as passionately, tongues licking against each other which normally didn’t happen, but Jensen was too caught in his head to think twice about it. She scrambled for his shirt and started to unbutton it and he gripped her waist and pressed her closer against his body, wanting her to crawl under his skin. He needed comfort, he needed  _ something  _ and that seemed like the best thing. 

“Cut! Guys cut!” Jensen finally pulled back, his eyes still watery and his lips now puffy and tingling. Y/N was panting heavily, her skin mottled with arousal from what he could tell, and she looked at him with a concerned look on her face as she reached up and ghosted her fingers over her lips. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” he gasped, running his hand through his carefully styled hair. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Jen. You wanna talk?” she offered. Before he could reply Mick approached them, beaming. 

“Jensen that was incredible, but you know it doesn’t lead into a sex scene right?” he checked. 

“What?” Jensen asked, eyes a little wider.  _ He’s talking about the kiss, the kiss was too passionate. It was too much. Fuck.  _

“It’s kinda hard keeping track of what leads into sex and what doesn’t, we do have a lot of those scenes together,” Y/N jumped to Jensen’s defence. Mick chuckled. 

“Okay, that’s fair enough, I’ll let you off. We’re gonna take an hour’s break.” Jensen just nodded his understanding as he reached up to rebutton his shirt, now remembering Y/N had started to undo it. 

“Thanks,” he grumbled, a little embarrassed. 

“You weren’t the only one that got caught up in the moment, Jen,” she reminded him softly. “C’mon, my trailer,” she demanded, nodding in that direction. 

The whole way across the lot Jensen was debating with himself about how much he could and couldn’t tell Y/N and by the time they reached her trailer door he’d made up his mind. Y/N headed straight over to her fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer. 

“Look like you need one,” she offered. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Jensen sighed. He took it from her and followed her lead over to her couch. He hung out with Y/N like this a lot, but the nature of where their conversation was about to head in was making him nervous. He twisted the cap off his beer bottle and took a long swig, before proceeding to play with the label on the bottle. 

“So, you’ve been off today. And not that I’m complaining about that kiss or the pretty emotional improv back there, but it seems like you need a friend… and I don’t see the more handsome Winchester around here. So spill,” she demanded with a smirk, tucking her legs under her as she turned to face Jensen completely, giving him her full attention. 

Jensen sighed heavily, his heart beating harder in his chest like it did every time he had this conversation with someone. 

“Yesterday, when I told you I was with someone?” he pressed.

“Yeah, the mysterious lucky girl?” Y/N giggled. Jensen forced a breathy laugh that was blatantly fake. 

“It’s a guy,” Jensen explained, a blush staining his cheeks. Coming out never got easier, not in this industry - not to people who could expose him. 

“Oh, so you’re gay?” she asked. She seemed surprised and a little disappointed, but she didn’t seem grossed out, which was always a good thing. 

“Well, technically I’m bisexual,” Jensen admitted. “But yeah, I’m currently in a relationship with a man,” he confirmed with a nod. 

“Okay, cool,” Y/N shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal, which Jensen was happy about. Particularly given her confession yesterday, he was worried she wouldn’t take the news well.

“Jensen, is that what’s got you so worried? Coming out to me?” she pressed.

“No, I mean, I was worried about that, but that’s not what’s wrong.” He cleared his throat. “Thing is, management didn't know about it yet, but I think they’ve found out. We have a meeting tomorrow and I think they’re going to try and get me to split up with him.” 

“Jensen, I’m so sorry, is there anything I can do?” Y/N asked immediately. 

“No, I don’t think so. I just needed to talk to someone about it. I’m trying to reassure my boyfriend that it won’t happen, but what if it does? I’m under contracts and I have gags and responsibilities, not just this movie but  _ Supernatural  _ too,” he went on. Y/N nodded her head, understandingly, after all she was part of the industry too. 

“They can’t stop you from doing what you want to do in your own private life. They might try and control your public image, they might tell you when you can and can’t come out or what you can and cannot post, but they can’t tell you who you can or cannot love or even fuck, right?” she pressed. Jensen nodded, knowing she was right. Unless they gave him an around the clock bodyguard, no one could stop him being with Jared when they were alone together. They’d at least still have that.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Jensen agreed, offering her a small smile. He already felt a little better. 

“I’m always right,” she boasted with a smug grin. He laughed, genuinely this time, and shook his head. “If there’s anything I can do, Jen, you’ll tell me won’t you?” she pressed. “And you can come to me at any time and everything we talk about will stay between us, you know that right?” 

“Yeah, Y/N, I do. Thank you, truly, you’re a good friend.” 


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, talk of homophobia, media control, fluff, possessive!Jensen, fluff, flirting, teasing, blowjob, getting caught, talk of threesomes, talk of bearding
> 
> Part WC: 3347

“Hey,” Jensen called, gripping Jared’s thigh before he got out of the car. “We’re gonna be okay, you hear me?” Jared looked across at Jensen with wide hazel eyes and nodded his head meekly. “I mean it, they’re not coming between us,” he told him adamantly. Since his talk with Y/N, Jensen had had time to think about it from a different perspective, and rather than going in there fearful and afraid of Jared being ripped from him, Jensen was going in there strong willed and determined to keep his relationship intact. He was willing to negotiate and do whatever it took to keep them happy if it meant keeping Jared. 

“I love you, Jen.” Jared’s voice cut through the quiet and Jensen squeezed his thigh.

“I love you too,” he replied. He glanced around the parking lot, but they both knew it was too risky to share even one longing look for a second too long, so Jensen squeezed Jared’s thigh again and smiled when Jared’s hand slipped over his and squeezed back. 

“C’mon, let’s get this over with and maybe we can still have the afternoon,” Jensen sighed, slipping his hand away and climbing out of the car. 

  
  


They made their way inside the tall building and took the elevator to the relevant floor, weary of even being affectionate whilst alone in the metal box, but they did stand close enough to brush their fingers together silently; it was their own way of saying _I love you_ in public. As they stepped off they were greeted by Darcy, one of the PR team and led towards the meeting room, a long table with several people around it and Ashley closest to their seats - conveniently not together, but opposite each other with a whole table between them. Jensen knew Ashley wouldn’t so much be to blame for this entire thing, she had bosses and people to answer to, her job was to make sure the boys did as they were told. 

“Would you like anything to eat or drink before we start?” Darcy asked them both as they took their seats. 

“We’re fine,” Jared answered for them, not that Jensen was complaining. He offered Darcy a smile to show he agreed with Jared’s statement and reached for his glass of water. 

  
  


Katrina was one of the big bosses, top of the food chain type deals, and she was the first to speak up.

“We are holding this meeting because it’s about time we addressed the elephant in the room,” she announced down the table. Jensen played with his glass, seemingly uninterested in the conversation, but his heart was pounding, he glanced at Jared who was looking just as uncomfortable and sighed. He wasn’t going to do this, he wasn’t going to roll over and show his belly at the first sign of formalities and business-like addressing. He was going to assert his dominance from the beginning, he was going to fight for the only thing he’s ever cared about holding onto. He cleared his throat, sat up straighter in his chair and looked Katrina directly in the eyes. 

“Yes, me and Jared are in a relationship, yes it’s sexual _and_ romantic, we’ve been together for almost two years now and no, I won’t be breaking up with him. No, I’m not gay, in fact, we’re both bisexual, right baby?” 

  
  


He was too caught up in his mind to even appreciate that it was his first time calling Jared _baby_ in front of _anyone,_ let alone a room full of business people. He looked across at Jared who stared wide eyed and open mouthed at him, there was a hint of admiration on his face that Jensen basked in for a moment. Jensen looked back at Katrina and gave her a condescending smile. 

“Any more questions?” he asked. She flustered, looking down at the papers in front of her and clearing her throat. 

“Jensen,” Eddie, someone from the PR team on the show spoke up, saving Katrina, “we appreciate that your love life is private and your own and we are not trying to discriminate against you for who you choose to love-”  
“So if Jared were a female we’d still have this conversation?” Jensen interrupted. 

“You have to understand from the network’s point of view this could be damaging,” he offered. Jensen scoffed. 

“Why? People love a _met on set and fell in love_ story. It would probably boost your ratings,” Jensen countered. 

“This is different-”  
“-because we’re both men right?” Jensen finished for him. 

  
  


“A big part of the appeal of the show is the two of you, and your _appearance,_ ” Yvette, another network spokesperson piped up. “If all your female fans thought you were gay then the show might lose some of its appeal.”

“So much for gay rights, supporting the LGBT community,” Jared spoke up. She glanced at him and sighed. 

“This isn’t about that.”

“Of course it is,” Jensen scoffed. “If one of us was female you’d have our love story splattered all over the papers, it would be a selling point to you guys.”

“Regardless of this, both, you signed a contract and there are clauses that say we can moderate your public appearance,” Ashley told them softly. 

“Fine, do what you’re going to do, but we’re not splitting up,” Jensen told them all adamantly. 

“Okay, then you’re gonna have to keep a lot of secrets and tell a lot of lies,” Katrina spoke up again. “Are you sure you’re prepared for that?

“The biggest lie would be not loving the person I want to love.” Jensen looked at Jared again who blushed and offered him a soft smile. 

“Jensen’s right. We’ll play whatever game you want us to play, we’ve kept this relationship a secret for two years now, we can keep going. But you’re not breaking us up.”

  
  


“But you’ve not kept it a secret, we found out. You two only have to look at each other and you can tell.”

“And that’s not gonna change whether we’re together in private or not. I’m never going to stop loving him.”

“You’re both actors, I’m sure you can figure out a way to act like friends, at least when there are eyes on you,” Katrina offered. Jensen took a deep breath and reluctantly agreed. He guessed they had gotten a little lazy on that front, although they didn’t kiss or hold hands in public there were still lingering touches and longing looks and he’d seen how some fans already had theories about their relationship being not so platonic. He would play their game for now, at least. 

“Fine. Anything else?” 

“We can always try to sell the whole brotherly love thing,” Ashley offered. “Brothers on and off screen.” 

  
  


Jared’s jaw clenched and he curled his fingers into a fist on the desk, but Jensen flashed him a wink to try and calm him down. It worked and Jared instantly smiled softer.

“Anything else?” he prompted, clearly as eager as Jensen was to finish this, start playing their game and be left alone. 

“You should get girlfriends,” Katrina told them. 

“No fucking way,” Jared argued, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, not happening,” Jensen agreed.

  
  


“You said yourself, Jensen, you’re both bisexual.” Katrina tilted her head to one side as if that statement made everything all better. As if being bisexual meant he was able to cheat on Jared like that. 

“That doesn’t matter, we’re in a closed relationship.” 

“It would be for show,” Katrina argued. 

“You mean a beard?” Jared prompted. 

“Yeah, like that. There’s even agencies we are in contact with that we can set up something.”

“No, you know what? I’m done having this conversation,” Jensen told them, rising to his feet immediately. Jared followed. “I’ll fake the whole brotherly love thing, I’ll pretend Jared isn’t my boyfriend in public, but I’m not going to fake date some girl just because the world is uncomfortable with my homosexual relationship. If you wanna fire me, then do it.” 

“And you can fire me whilst you’re at it too,” Jared chipped in. 

“Boys, c’mon, you know we can make you do this. You signed a contract.” 

“I said I’m done. C’mon baby,” Jensen grunted, taking Jared’s hand. 

  
  


He was too mad to even appreciate that management had yet to witness any kind of physical affection between the two of them, not that you could really class the way Jensen dragged Jared out of that room as affectionate. As soon as they got to the elevators he realised his whole body was shaking with anger, he jabbed the elevator door button and waited, Jared stood silently by his side. As soon as they stepped in and he pressed the relevant button, the doors closed leaving them alone in eerie silence. 

“Gotta say, that was fucking hot the way you stood up for us back there,” Jared commented, a sense of awkwardness to his tone, no doubt he was afraid of Jensen’s mood. Jensen gripped Jared’s arms and pinned him up against the elevator wall. Jared whimpered on an out breath as he looked into Jensen’s eyes. 

“No one gets to take you away from me,” he growled. 

  
  


Jared didn’t reply for a moment, just breathed heavily and looked at Jensen and as Jensen went to ease up, Jared gripped the front of his shirt and kept him close. 

“Please can we go home and fuck because I’m hard as fuck right now,” he confessed. Jensen looked between them and saw the noticeable bulge in Jared’s slacks, finally feeling some of the anger drain as he chuckled. 

“Yeah, baby, we can go home and fuck,” he agreed, placing a quick kiss to Jared’s lips, “I want nothing more, actually.”

  


Jensen knew what Jared was doing as soon as he posted the first photo of the two of them together online, arms around each other and looking like the gay couple they were. But in order to keep management sweet he’d captioned it _So much love for my brother._ Jensen was waiting for Ashley to inevitably call and tell him to think twice about pushing them right now, but the call didn’t come and maybe they were giving both boys a cool down period. Jensen hadn’t wanted to think about getting a _fake girlfriend_ anymore than he had done already. He could only imagine how exhausting it would be having to pretend you were happy and in love with someone else. He was an actor, he could probably do it, but to do it in real life, that just sounded draining. 

  
  


Jared had been clingy, not that Jensen minded because he had also been feeling a little insecure since their meeting. He liked having Jared around to ground him, to remind him of what he was fighting for, how worth it it was. He needed the reassurance that Jared wasn’t just going to turn to him and point out it was a futile fight that they should just give up now before it gets harder. But Jared snuggling extra close to him, constantly kissing him and telling him he loved him when they were alone was exactly what Jensen needed. Jared had gone as far as to invite himself to set for the day. Jensen had yet to invite him himself because he was afraid of Jared witnessing the kind of shoots he was constantly involved in. And even though Jared had had his share of sex scenes on screen and he knew that they were meaningless, this wasn’t the type of scene that you’d find in _Supernatural_ (even those Jared didn’t hang around for) this was borderline porn. It was graphic enough Jensen almost didn’t want the role. But Jared was going to insist on seeing the movie when it was released, he’d want to support Jensen in that, be at the premiere if he’s allowed, or at least watch it at some point, and Jensen supposed him seeing the fake, unedited version was better. 

  
  


Jared knew the drill as he lounged back in Jensen’s trailer with a beer, and flicked through the TV whilst Jensen was in hair and makeup, preparing for filming. It was, unsurprisingly, another sex orientated scene today, so wardrobe was nothing more than a pair of grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips. As Jensen removed his robe, once he was back inside, he became very aware of Jared’s attention all of a sudden. 

“You urm, you-” Jared stammered, sitting upright on the couch and placing his beer down on the coffee table. 

“You okay?” Jensen prompted, laughing slightly. 

“Yeah, yeah I’m just…” Jared swallowed hard, his eyes scanning Jensen’s body over and over again as he licked his lips and bit the bottom one. 

“Do you need a moment with your right hand?” Jensen teased, aiming for an unimpressed tone. 

  
  


Jared’s eyes finally blinked up to Jensen’s face and he swallowed hard once more. 

“Sorry, just - damn baby, you look good.” Jensen felt his cheeks blush. 

“Alright, well I gotta be on set in five so don’t get yourself into trouble ‘cause I can’t help,” Jensen laughed, brushing off the compliment. There was something about the way Jared was looking at him that made him flustered. 

“Five minutes?” Jared checked. 

“Yeah-” Jensen cut his sentence short as Jared slid off the couch onto his knees at Jensen’s feet. 

“That’s plenty of time,” he smirked up at him, rubbing his hands up Jensen’s legs. 

“Baby, it’s not plenty of time,” Jensen scoffed, reaching down for Jared’s hands. Jared couldn’t start this now, not when it wouldn’t end the way Jensen wanted it to, and he couldn’t afford to be sexually frustrated on set today. 

“You think I couldn’t get you off in five minutes?” Jared asked, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Jensen’s pants, but Jen gripped his wrists. 

“Baby, don’t, if you ruin my outfit, wardrobe will kill me.”

“Outfit,” Jared scoffed. Despite his own protests, Jensen could feel himself getting hard, like his body had other ideas - ideas that agreed with Jared. “C’mon, just let me,” Jared begged, tugging on the waistband. 

  
  


Jensen’s hands loosened and slipped away from Jared’s wrists as he sighed heavily and looked down to see Jared pulling his sweats down to mid thigh. His cock was already half hard as Jared reached up and wrapped a hand around it, guiding it to his mouth. Jensen gasped for air, biting down on his bottom lip. 

“Fuck,” he breathed out heavily as Jared wrapped his lips around the tip and Jensen felt himself grow harder in Jared’s mouth. Jared was clearly mindful of their time limit because he didn’t tease for long, sucking Jensen down as deep as he could without his throat warmed up, and twisting and tugging on the length he couldn’t manage to fit just yet. Jensen bucked his hips, his hand automatically going to the back of Jared’s head as he encouraged himself deeper. Jared moaned around him, scrambling to undo his own belt and jeans, pushing his hand inside his boxers, and Jensen wanted nothing more than to feel for himself, to wrap his hand around Jared’s throbbing length and work him in his hand whilst fucking him. But they definitely didn’t have time for that. 

  
  


“Hey Jen, thought we could head to - holy fuck,” Y/N’s voice filled the trailer and Jensen whipped his head around to look over his shoulder and see Y/N standing there in her own robe, wide eyed. He was fairly sure she couldn’t see much from her position, but the second Jared pulled back Jensen pulled his sweats up to cover himself, and Jared scrambled to put himself away too. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise that - shit I’m sorry,” Y/N repeated. 

“It’s fine, Y/N,” Jensen told her immediately. She turned around so her back was to them and Jensen informed her it was safe once Jared was sitting on the couch again, swigging down on his beer like he needed the alcohol. Jensen could certainly use some. They’d never been caught before. It was alien to not only have someone know about their relationship but to have now witnessed it firsthand. 

  
  


Y/N slowly turned back around and her eyes flitted between Jensen and Jared for a second. 

“Dean, he’s your brother,” she smirked and Jared laughed heartily. Jensen was glad she was making light of the situation and scratched the back of his neck. “What a first impression. Nice to finally meet you, Jared,” she chirped. 

“Yeah,” Jared grumbled behind his beer bottle, still clearly a little embarrassed. At least _he_ didn’t have to film a sex scene with her now. 

“I’m ready to go,” Jensen told her, feeling his erection had completely disappeared now and he grabbed his robe. 

“I’ll wait outside,” Y/N smiled looking at Jared again for a moment before turning around and heading out. Jensen looked at Jared and blushed violently. They giggled between themselves, partially nerves and partially relief that not only Y/N knew who his boyfriend was now, but that she’d been totally cool about it. 

“See you soon,” Jared smiled softly, “sorry if I urm… made things harder,” he smirked. 

“You like making things hard, don’t you?” Jensen teased, placing a quick kiss to Jared’s lips. He didn’t linger on the thought, not wanting the arousal to creep back in as he stood up straight and headed out. 

  
  


“So that’s why you spend every night with Jared,” Y/N chortled with a smirk she clearly couldn’t wipe off of her face. 

“Yeah,” Jensen admitted with a blush. “I’m sorry you witnessed that.”

“Are you kidding? Two hot men like you, that is being stored for later,” she teased, tapping the side of her head and winking over at him. Jensen laughed slightly and shook his head. “On a serious note, I’m happy for you. I just knew it, anyway. When you said you had a boyfriend, I assumed it was Jared.”

“Oh fuck, is it that obvious?” Jensen groaned. 

“No, not really. Not unless you look for it,” she reassured him. “Plus you confirmed you were dating a guy, before that I totally assumed you were straight.” Jensen nodded in understanding. “If you two ever want a third wheel by the way,” she smirked again, and Jensen shook his head, rolling his eyes. “The offer is there,” she held her hands up. “So how did the meeting go, anyway?” she pried. 

  
  


Jensen drew a deep breath and shrugged. 

“As good as it was going to go. I put my foot down, told them I’m not breaking up with him. Like you said, they are trying to control what we post now, trying to sell our relationship as _brotherly love, brothers on and off screen,_ ” Jensen quoted. Y/N giggled and shook her head. 

“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what you do with your brother,” she commented. Jensen laughed. 

“They urm - they want us to get girlfriends… well _beards,”_ he told her. 

“Huh, I’ve heard of that being a thing years ago, but figured it had died out now people are more accepting,” Y/N noted. 

“Yeah, they’re not,” Jensen told her sadly. They stepped into the building and headed towards the buffet table already, Y/N opting for some grapes. “I don’t know, it sounds tiring having to fake it so much, I don’t like lying to my fans and besides, I don’t see what the girl would get out of it.”

  
  


“Well I guess money for starters and then there’s the fame that comes with dating you,” she shrugged. Jensen rolled his eyes at the very thought. “I don’t think it’s a _terrible_ idea, if it gets management off of your back. And then you can just break up with her when you and Jared are ready to come out. Not like you actually have to fall in love with her or fuck her or anything. I guess she’d just be like a friend you fake date in public.” Jensen sighed, maybe Y/N was right, maybe it wasn’t such a terrible idea, after all.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: fake oral sex, fluff, jealousy, hints of dom!Jensen / sub!Jared, m/m, gay sex, anal sex, cum eating, talk of voyeurism

Jensen felt Y/N’s lips press over his neck, down his chest, over his torso and to the waistband of his sweats. Reaching up, she hooked her fingers into them, just like Jared had done earlier that day. Jensen’s chest was heaving as he looked down at her and bit his bottom lip. Her Y/E/C eyes were twinkling up at him in the set lighting and she tugged enough that the sweats went out of camera shot, but not enough to expose anything, luckily. Her hands gripped at his hips, fingers splayed as he reached for the back of her head and panted and groaned heavily, looking down at her and pretending she wasn’t just bobbing her head and faking it, looking up at him regardless. Jensen continued to fake it, thrusting his hips a little, careful not to clash with Y/N’s movements. Sticking her tongue into the side of her mouth she moaned a little, the sound realistic enough for its purpose, and Jensen’s eyes closed as the sound struck something deep inside. His cock twitched. Fucking Jared. He should’ve put his foot down about earlier because now he was pent up.  _ Cut _ was called before Jensen could get too in his head about the reaction, and he helped Y/N to her feet. They were kept in their positions as cameras moved around them and one pointed directly at Jensen’s face. 

“Y/N, we’re gonna need you back in position and we want you to reach up with your hand, scratch down his chest a little.” Y/N got to her knees at Jensen’s feet again and reached up to figure where her hand needed to be. “Yeah perfect.” The set fell quiet again, and once action was called Jensen started gasping and moaning again, focusing on making all the right faces as he kept glancing down at Y/N, and to keep in character, he imagined her sucking him down for real. Y/N reached up, dragging her nails down his torso, and the scratch of pain that radiated through his body made his cock twitch again. The next whimper to leave Jensen’s mouth was genuine, but luckily his fake ones had sounded close enough to the real thing, so it wasn’t noticeable. But what would become noticeable was his erection if he didn’t get a handle on it soon. First the kiss the other day, and now this. Jensen needed to get himself in better check and soon. 

_ Cut _ was called just in time, and they were told they were getting a short break so Jensen stepped off set. 

“So who does it better?” Jensen turned around to see Jared stood by the food table. Jensen laughed off his comment, glancing around for anyone who could’ve overheard, but everyone else was far too busy. 

“Didn’t realise you’d come to watch,” Jensen commented. He suddenly felt guilty, like what he’d done with Y/N was wrong. And maybe part of it was, because he genuinely felt  _ something  _ on set. But that was because of Jared right? Leaving him hanging earlier? He just needed relief, and once filming was over he was going to be sure to get some, even if it meant Jared couldn’t walk off site for a while. 

“Got bored,” Jared explained, “so… who does it better?” he asked again with a smirk that told Jensen he was teasing. 

“Now that’s not fair, you’ve got an unfair advantage,” Y/N spoke up over Jensen’s shoulder.  _ Man she was quiet. _ Jensen turned around quickly as she smirked at the two of them. “I’m more than happy to even the playing field though, what do you say, Jen?” Jensen laughed her off and luckily, Jared found it funny too. 

“I’m Jared by the way, thought we should officially meet,” he told her, holding out his hand. 

“Y/N,” she smiled, shaking his hand softly. 

“It’s urm - it’s weird that you know and I’ve only just met you,” Jared commented. Jensen realised that he’d only ever talked about Y/N, so although Jared knew a lot about her, him only just meeting her for the first time was strange. Jensen got on really well with Y/N and he just hoped Jared did too so they could continue to be friends beyond the movie. 

“Your secret is more than safe with me,” Y/N reassured him. “I’m actually really happy for you both.” She glanced around for a second before continuing, in a slightly lower tone, “I think you make a cute couple.” Jared blushed slightly.

“Thanks.” She looked back at Jensen and smiled softly, though he could see that there was a small trace of disappointment on her features, assumingly because she liked him like she’d confessed the week before. Jensen hadn’t told Jared about that, he didn’t think there was a need and anyway, if Jared knew the actress Jensen was having a lot of fake sex with was interested in him, he might’ve been a lot less happy with the movie. Jensen was worried that Jared would get jealous, and maybe that was on him. Because deep down, Jensen knew that Jared would have a reason to be. Jensen hadn’t let himself feel anything for anyone - male or female - since getting with Jared, but he couldn’t deny Y/N was gorgeous, the type of girl he’d go for if he was single. Maybe that was the issue; Y/N was his type, Y/N was almost the perfect girl for him, the type of girl management would just  _ love  _ for him to date. 

The idea hit him in the gut before it fully sunk into his brain, but he was very quick to dismiss it. Y/N would never be his beard, he’d never expect her to be. He would never expect  _ anyone  _ to be that for him. Y/N was surely wanting to find her own boyfriend who actually loved her and wanted to give her the things that Jensen wouldn’t. He wasn’t even going to suggest it. 

-

Jensen lay Y/N down on the bed and kissed down her neck, between her breasts as they heaved in her bra and down the center of her stomach. He settled his head between her legs, and she lifted them to wrap around his head and conceal him a little better. Her back arched off the bed as she moaned and writhed beneath him, her hand flying to the back of his head, and even Jensen was believing she was having a great time despite him not even doing anything. He waited the appropriate amount of time before kissing back up her body, and when he reached her mouth he stopped, hovering over her as they both panted. She reached up slowly and cupped the side of his cheek. 

“Do you love me?” she asked softly. He turned his face into her palm and kissed it. 

“You know I do, more than anything,” he replied. 

“Then run away with me.” He sighed and rolled off of her. 

“Liz-”

“Ryan, I’m being serious,” she sighed, sitting up. “I don’t wanna be with him anymore, I don’t want this life anymore, I want you. Please, take me away.” 

Jensen reached forward and gripped her chin, looking her in the eyes. 

“Please, Ryan,” she whispered. Jensen drew a deep breath and nodded. 

“Okay, let’s do it,” he agreed, “I’ll take you away.” 

“Really?” she beamed. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. She lunged forward and kissed him passionately and he wrapped his arms around her and spun them around so she was laying back on the bed again. They kissed that way for a little while, until  _ cut _ was called. 

“That’s all for today, folks, good work, see you tomorrow.” Jensen climbed off of Y/N and pulled her up to her feet as they took their robes and put them on. He could see Jared in the corner of the room and smiled as he approached, but Jared wasn’t in the best of moods, it seemed. 

They walked across the lot quietly, heading back to Jensen’s trailer. Y/N had decided to hang back, and Jensen wondered if that was intentional so the boys had some privacy. 

“You and Y/N have great chemistry,” Jared commented, but there was something about his tone that suggested to Jensen that he wasn’t happy about the fact. 

“Baby, are you jealous of her?” Jensen asked immediately. Jared glanced at Jensen but didn’t reply, which told him all he needed to know. “It’s just acting, you know it is.”

“Some of those noises were real, Jen,” Jared noted. Jensen’s eyes widened slightly. “No one else might’ve noticed but I did. I know those noises better than anyone.” Jensen couldn’t deny it, there were several times that day where the noises had been real, when his cock threatened to spring to life. Luckily, it had behaved. Jensen sighed heavily and stopped walking. “It’s only because you got me going this morning and I’ve not had any relief yet,” Jensen commented. 

Jared bit the inside of his lip and frowned slightly. 

“I’m not jealous of her, I’m just… I’m not,” he insisted. “She’s a girl, she’s got...  _ equipment _ that I don’t have. I know what it’s like to crave that sometimes, I do. I just want you to be honest with me about it.” Jensen sighed and nodded his head. 

“Y/N is gorgeous, if I was single, would I be interested? Probably. Was I getting turned on today because of her? No. Baby, I’m not a teenage boy, fake sex doesn’t get me going, what was getting me going was remembering you in my trailer this morning and thinking about what I wanted to do to you once filming was over for the day.” Jared’s face softened a little.

“Yeah? Care to share with the rest of the class?” he asked quietly, clearly still trying to seem mad and not eager, but failing miserably. Jensen smirked, knowing he’d won, and grabbed Jared’s wrist without even thinking about them still being outside in the open. 

“Why don’t I just show you?” he purred. 

Jensen quickly dropped Jared’s wrist and headed towards his trailer, hearing the gravel crunch beneath Jared’s shoes when he started to follow again. He stepped inside his trailer and immediately removed his robe, leaving him in only his sweats once more. As soon as Jared got inside his eyes fell on Jensen’s body. 

“Lock the door,” Jensen instructed, not wanting another interruption. Jared reached to engage the lock. “Get undressed, c’mon,” he commanded next. 

“You’re so bossy,” Jared chuckled, doing as he was told regardless. He pulled his t-shirt over his head and started to open his jeans, toeing his shoes off and kicking his jeans off so he was left in only his boxers. Jensen palmed at the growing lump in the front of his grey sweats and nodded over Jared’s shoulder. 

“In the bedroom.” Jared turned around and headed into there without any questions, and Jensen followed on behind eagerly. Jensen reached into his duffle bag and grabbed a bottle of lube, throwing it towards Jared who caught it effortlessly. “I need a shower, get yourself ready for me,” he instructed. Jared smirked a little. 

“Or I could shower with you?” he suggested. Jensen smirked back and pressed his face dangerously close to Jared’s.

“No, get ready,” he whispered, kissing Jared softly before heading into the bathroom. 

-

When Jensen emerged from the bathroom he was rock hard and still wet from the shower. Jared was laying in the centre of the bed, his own cock hard and dribbling precum onto his stomach as he worked his fingers in and out of his tight hole. Jensen could see his fingers and hole shining with lube, and Jared opened his eyes to see Jensen approach the bed as he moaned softly. Jensen slowly climbed on the bed between Jared’s legs. 

“Such a good boy doing as you’re told,” Jensen purred, rubbing his hands up Jared’s thighs and ghosting his hand over Jared’s erection. Jared whimpered at the slight contact and removed his fingers, bringing his hands up to grip at Jensen’s biceps. Jensen wasted no time; he’d wanted - no,  _ needed -  _ this all day. He gripped the base of his cock and slowly teased Jared’s hole with the tip, watching as Jared's face flushed and he bit his bottom lip in anticipation. 

“Please, Jen, I’m so ready for you,” he begged quietly. Jensen drove his hips forward, meeting resistance at first, but he kept going as Jared stretched to accommodate him just as well as he always did. Jensen groaned, gripping the backs of Jared’s thighs to hold his legs out of the way as he began thrusting slow but deep. 

Jared’s head tipped back as he moaned loudly, and his blunt fingernails dug into Jensen’s muscles. 

“So fucking tight, baby, been craving this sweet little hole of yours all day,” Jensen groaned. He began fucking him a little faster and a little harder until the bed beneath them was squeaking. Jensen was pretty sure if anyone looked hard enough they’d see the trailer shaking slightly. But he didn’t care. He could have any one inside there with him, and right then, he didn’t even care if they got papped through the window. Management would have a fit but at least they couldn’t deny it then. Jensen reached down, wrapping his hand around Jared’s length as he began to jerk softly. Jared arched his back into the touch and moaned loudly. Jensen’s second hand immediately reached up to clasp over Jared’s mouth. 

“Shush, baby,” he whispered, very much aware the lot was still full of crew and other cast members. Even Y/N was only next door and although she knew their dirty little secret, she probably didn’t want to listen to them fucking. Although after her comment earlier that day, maybe she did. 

Jared’s voice came out muffled as he began clenching and unclenching around Jensen’s cock. Jensen slipped his hand away. 

“Please Jen, please, I need it,” he begged breathlessly. Jensen smirked at his eagerness and fucked him a little harder and faster again, squeezing around his cock a little harder as he wanked it. Jared throbbed in Jensen’s palm and started to buck his hips to meet Jensen’s thrusts. 

“Already?” Jensen taunted, but he couldn’t blame the guy, he was close himself after such a torcherous day. 

“Please, Jen,” he begged again. Jensen granted his wish, rolling his thumb over Jared’s slit and twisting his hand the way Jared liked it until he was spurting hot ropes of cum over his own chest and stomach. Jared gasped, clenching harder still around Jensen who now struggled to keep thrusting the way he had been. Jensen bent down, eager to lick Jared’s torso clean as it heaved under his tongue, and when Jared reached around to gently caress his balls, Jensen lost it, cumming hard inside Jared as he crashed down and rested his head on Jared’s shoulder. 

“It turned me on,” Jared spoke up after a moment or two of silence. 

“I should hope so too,” Jensen scoffed, “don’t tell me you were thinking about being top again. That didn’t go well last time.” 

Jared laughed softly, “no, not that.”

“What?” Jensen asked, lifting his head to see Jared’s face. He blushed and licked his lips for a second. 

“Seeing you with her,” he admitted. “You weren’t the only one that today affected.” Jensen wasn’t sure what that meant. Jared was bisexual, just like he was, so seeing heterosexual sex would be a turn on for him, Jensen supposed - but it wasn’t just anyone. It was  _ him.  _ He was Jared’s boyfriend and what Jensen originally assumed was jealousy maybe wasn’t after all. Maybe it was guilt for enjoying it. 

“I am pretty sexy,” Jensen joked, trying to lighten the mood. Jared scoffed and shook his head. 

“We both had blue balls this morning, right? Probably that,” Jared offered. Jensen nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah probably, baby.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, acting, kissing, rumours, dry humping, biting, leaving love bites, marking/claiming, handjob

Y/N sighed and pushed her hair out of her face for a moment, a small frown tugging her brow. 

“I’m not sure, Jen, something just isn’t sitting right with me,” she told him. Jensen pursed his lips as he thought about it. He had to agree with her, but he couldn’t figure it out either. 

“Maybe it needs to be more…  _ real,”  _ he suggested. She bit her lip as she looked at him. 

“How d’you mean?” she pressed. 

“Well Lizzie is waiting to leave her husband for Ryan, right? And Ryan’s bailing on her and we know that he’s doing it for her, to protect her and stop her from making a mistake. But Lizzie doesn’t know that. She’s gonna be angry at him, she’s gonna think he’s just being a grade A asshole again. So she’s gonna push him, get mad, and maybe at first Ryan pushes back, he wants her to give up on him, but then this line here  _ It was never about me, Lizzie, _ that’s Ryan confessing, that’s when he shows his true colours. Rather than us coming at that with more shouting, we need to strip it back.” 

Y/N nodded along, “yeah, that works better. You’re right.” She rose to her feet and her eyes scanned over her script once more. “Let’s go again, without the scripts this time, I think a bit of improv might help the scene anyway,” she suggested. 

“Sure,” Jensen smiled. He cleared his throat and tried to get back into his Ryan headspace, seeing Y/N roll her head on her shoulders. There was a moment of silence between them before Y/N delivered her first line. 

“Where are your bags, baby?” she asked, frowning slightly. 

“About that, Lizzie, listen-”   
“No… no no no, Ryan don’t do this to me, not again, please,” Y/N begged, tears glazing over her eyes. 

“Hear me out, please,” he begged softly. He reached for her but she shrugged him off.

“No! Ryan, you can’t do this. Not again,  _ please,  _ you promised me. You said this time you meant it.”

“Well I lied, okay?! What do you expect from me, Lizzie?!” Jensen’s voice rose, giving that push back he’d talked about. “I told you when we met I don’t do this whole settling down shit, I fuck around, you knew that.”

“I thought it was different with me,” she whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks. 

“The only reason I fucked around with you in the first place was because you were already married, so I thought you wouldn’t want more. I didn’t think it would get this far.” 

“You’re the one that said you wouldn’t walk away Ryan, or was that bullshit too? All that crap about not being able to keep a secret, about it eating you alive…” Y/N improvised, referencing to the very line Jensen had previously said about Jared that day he'd spent trapped in his head. 

Jensen clenched his jaw and squared his shoulders, keeping the anger in the scene. “Yeah, that was bullshit.” 

“Fuck you, Ryan, fuck YOU!” she screamed, stepping forward and shoving him. He let himself get pushed backwards. “You don’t get to play with my emotions like that! You don’t get to make promises you’re not going to keep!” 

“I can do what I fucking want. You’re the one that pushed for this whole running away crap. I never asked for this. You don’t need me, you’ve got a husband right here!” 

“I don’t want him, I want you. I’ve always wanted you, ever since you showed back up after all that time away it’s been  _ you _ .” Y/N let the silence grow as she sniffled and Jensen swallowed hard, really feeling the heartbreak in the scene. He let himself absorb it, let his character feel it all. “But you’re just too selfish to see that. You only care about yourself, you don’t care that I love you, that I put you above everything. When it comes to you, it’s always about you.” 

She turned around and headed for the door, storming outside and Jensen followed. He reached for her and grabbed her shoulder, turning her back around to face him. She looked at him with wet eyes. 

“It was never about me, Lizzie,” he confessed softly. “It’s always about you.” He cupped the side of her face and she reached up to grip at his wrist. His eyes flickered between hers as he stared for a moment. He leaned forward and kissed her, his lips moving over hers softly until the passion began to build a little. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to hers. “And that’s why I’m leaving and I’m not taking you with me. Because you deserve better than what I can give you. You deserve more.” That was his cue to peel himself away from Y/N and walk away, but he broke character before that and smiled at her. “That was it, right? That felt better,” he commented. She laughed, breaking character too and nodded her head. Jensen let go and stepped back. 

“That was perfect, Jen.” 

-

Considering the scene was a night scene it was a little past three in the morning when Jensen got home from set. He crashed in the spare room, not wanting to wake Jared at such an hour and slept solidly from the moment his head hit the pillow to the moment Jared kicked the foot that was hanging over the edge of the bed to wake him up. Jensen grumbled and lifted his head, squinting in the sunlight that had bled into the room. He was still so tired, and when he looked at the time it was a little past ten am. Jared knew Jensen had the day off, that he’d worked a night shoot, so why was he waking him now?! 

“Morning baby,” he grumbled, rubbing his eyes before letting his head crash back onto the pillow. He groaned in protest as he rolled onto his back. “Not the wake up call I’m used to,” he noted. The few times Jensen had slept in the spare room, Jared had snuck in and woken him up with his mouth around his dick. Jensen knew which wake up call he preferred. 

“Care to explain?” Jared asked, thrusting the bright screen of his cell in Jensen’s face. He squinted his eyes harder, the light hurting his head. 

“What is it?” Jensen asked, unable to focus on it with his tired eyes. 

“Look for yourself and tell me,” Jared replied shortly. 

“Baby, I’m half asleep and I’ve not even had any coffee,” Jensen grumbled, but sat up nonetheless and grabbed Jared’s phone to try and see the screen properly. He blinked his eyes a few times and looked down to see that Jared was showing him a photo. More specifically a photo of him and Y/N from the day before rehearsing outside Jensen’s trailer. He was holding her face in his hands and they were both laughing, clearly it was the end of the scene once they were happy they’d nailed it. Jensen scrolled a little further down to see another photo from moments before, this time they were kissing. 

“Mick’s gonna be pissed that paps got in,” Jensen commented. 

“You know who’s pissed, Jensen?” Jared asked, snatching his cell back, “your boyfriend!” Jensen frowned.

“You? Why?” 

“Jensen Ackles and Y/N Y/L/N getting close on set,” he began to read out. Jensen hadn’t gotten that far, he’d only managed to see the photos. “Looks like Jensen and Y/N aren’t keeping their romance on screen as they share a passionate kiss off camera.” Jensen rolled his eyes.

“Baby, we were only rehearsing,” Jensen sighed, throwing the covers back to get out of bed. “You know what those assholes are like, they’ll make an ocean out of a fucking puddle,” he defended. 

“Yeah, and I also know that you don’t usually kiss during rehearsals,” Jared countered. 

“It was an intense scene and we just got caught in the moment, it didn’t mean anything, baby, c’mon.” Jensen reached out for Jared and gripped the back of his neck. Jared went to pull away but Jensen’s grip tightened and Jared huffed, giving in. “I love you, Jar,” he told him, pulling him closer still. 

“Yeah, okay,” Jared grumbled. “I just don’t like the idea that people think you’re with her now,” he complained. 

Jensen leaned in, smelling Jared’s neck and inhaling deeply before kissing it softly, nibbling gently on the skin as he felt Jared swallow hard beneath his mouth. 

“Let them think whatever they want,” Jensen murmured. His hands gripped Jared’s hips, snaking around to palm at his ass. Jared was fairly rigid in Jensen’s hold, but he also wasn’t protesting, so Jensen chalked that down as a win. He continued to nibble and lick at Jared’s throat, feeling Jared’s breathing getting a little heavier. “I’m yours,” Jensen told him. He brought his lips to Jared’s and kissed him passionately and finally, Jared responded, kissing back. 

Jensen spun them around and pushed Jared back onto the bed, climbing to straddle him and pin his hands above his head. Jensen was only in his boxers, Jared fully clothed in jeans and a t-shirt, but Jensen started grinding against him anyway. Jared groaned softly under his breath, and tilted his hips a little beneath Jensen. Keeping his wrists pinned above his head, Jensen kissed down Jared’s neck and dragged the tip of his nose down the centre of Jared’s body until he couldn’t go any lower without letting go of his wrists. His free hand pushed the hem of Jared’s shirt up his torso, revealing tanned and toned skin that Jensen was eager to mark up. He bit down, sucking the skin into his mouth, and working on leaving a purple bruise behind as Jensen felt Jared’s erection start to prod against his chest where it lay across his lap. Jensen let the skin go with a pop, the now angry, purplish bruise was shining with his spit and Jensen smirked at it proudly.  _ His. All his.  _ Jensen kissed back up Jared’s body to his lips. 

“Mark me,” he breathed against Jared’s mouth. Jared seemed to blink away the fog of his arousal for a moment as he stared up at Jensen. He scoffed, which Jensen wasn’t expecting. 

“Don’t think make up would be happy with that,” he commented. 

“Fuck it, do it,” he commanded. “Somewhere hidden from the camera.” Jared sat up, forcing them to flip over as he straddled Jensen’s waist. 

“Nowhere is hidden from the camera,” he smirked, “not unless you want one on your dick.” Jared’s hand smoothed down Jensen’s front to palm Jensen’s now obvious erection through his boxers. Jensen groaned, bucking his hips up into the touch automatically. 

“A-anywhere then, just do it baby, mark your territory,” he taunted. Jared’s eyes grew darker and he kissed his way down Jensen’s body, closer and closer to the bulge in his boxers, but he avoided it and pushed Jensen’s legs open. He bit down on the flesh on the upper inside of Jensen’s thigh and started to suck. Jensen groaned, his cock now throbbing noticeably behind its confines. 

Jared pulled back, and Jensen could see the dark mark he’d left behind, as Jared wiped a thumb over it and made him hiss. Jensen sat up, gripping Jared’s neck to kiss him again. He gripped the hem of Jared’s shirt and pulled it over his head, leaving his new claim mark on display for him to marvel at, as he encouraged Jared to lay back down, once more straddling his waist. Jensen reached between them, tugging on Jared’s belt, eagerly trying to get it undone. Jared gasped for breath as Jensen’s hand pushed its way inside his jeans and boxers in search of his erection. Jensen’s fingers had barely wrapped around it when his cell started ringing from the nightstand. Jensen grumbled in protest, and didn’t have to look to guess it was Ashley. No doubt she wanted the story behind the photos that had been posted. 

“Fuck’s sakes,” he grumbled through gritted teeth. “Ashley has the worst timing.” 

“Get it, Jen,” Jared told him, gripping Jensen's wrist and pulling it out of his boxers. Jensen huffed a breath and rolled off of Jared. 

He begrudgingly grabbed his cell phone, and when he saw his suspicions were correct, he felt the arousal drain from his body. 

“Yeah?” he huffed. 

“You know why I’m calling Jensen, gonna need the goss,” Ashley chirped. Jensen rolled his eyes. 

“We were only rehearsing a scene,” he explained simply. He felt Jared sit up next to him, and watched him get to his feet and start to buckle his belt. Great, the moment was definitely gone now. Jared reached down for his shirt next and pulled it back on, hiding Jensen’s claim. 

“That’s it?” she pressed. 

“You know it is, you know I’m with Jared,” he told her shortly. 

“I just thought you were finally taking our advice.” Jensen grit his teeth, his grip on his cell getting tighter. Jared was turning to leave, but Jensen didn’t want to be left alone, so he reached out and gripped Jared’s hand, keeping him there. “Well, regardless, we need to set a meeting. Can you come in at four today?” 

Jensen wanted to say no, he wanted to pretend those photos didn’t exist, that management didn’t know about Jared because he didn’t have the energy to fight with them over this again. But he also knew the more resistance he gave, the harder they would push, and he didn’t have the energy for that either.

“Fine.” He hung up at that and threw his cell down. “Gotta go in at four,” he told Jared with a sigh, standing up to get closer to him. Jared just nodded, but he didn’t say anything. Jensen leaned in to kiss him again but Jared stepped back. “What’s wrong?” he pressed. 

“Nothing, Jen, I’m just… I’m not in the mood,” Jared sighed.

“You were a moment ago,” Jensen pointed out. 

“Yeah, well I got caught up in the moment.” 

“Well get caught up in it again,” Jensen told him, kissing at his neck and running his hand down his body. 

“Stop, Jen. I’m sorry, I’m just not,” he grumbled. 

“You believe me, right? That it was just rehearsals?” Jensen checked. 

“Yeah, baby I do,” Jared sighed, his face softening a little. “I’m sorry, I just… I just need time to get my head around things,” he confessed. Jensen frowned but let Jared leave the room this time. 

“Fuck,” he grumbled to himself, dropping down to sit on the bed as he held his head in his hands. He reached over for his cell, seeing he’d missed several calls from Ashley that morning and now Y/N had text him. 

**_> Have you seen them? X_ **

**_< Yep. _ **

**_> Jared okay? _ **

**_< he’ll be fine. You okay?_ **

**_> I’m fine. I don’t mind people thinking I’m dating Dean Winchester ;)_ **

**_< Haha glad you’re okay_ **

**_> … are you okay?_ **

**_< I’m fine_ **

He threw his phone down beside him and huffed.  _ Fine -  _ what a lie. Nothing about this was fine.


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: talk of bearding, talk of cheating, angst, jealous!Jared, possessive!Jared, public sex, gay sex, m/m, anal, painful sex, talk of threesomes

Once again Jensen found himself sat at a long table, several neutral faces staring back at him. At least this time, Jared was allowed to sit next to him. Jensen had tried a few times to grip Jared’s thigh under the table or search for Jared’s hand to hold but Jared wasn’t playing ball. Something was still bothering him about this whole situation, and Jensen knew he’d have to get to the bottom of it later, once they were back home. 

“Thank you for coming in, boys,” Katrina said, entering the room and approaching her chair at the head of the table. She looked at them both and smiled. It seemed friendly enough but Jensen knew she was just trying to soften whatever blow she had planned. 

“I have to say, Jensen, we were pretty happy to see those photos making a buzz in the media this morning,” she told him with a warm smile. Jensen clenched his jaw. What he wanted to say was _Of course you are, she’s female, you homophobic pricks_ but instead he kept quiet. “What’s the story?” she asked, blinking at him. 

  
  


“Look, I’ve been through this with Ashley. There is no story, we were rehearsing a scene, paps must’ve caught us, that’s it.” Jensen was going to keep saying it until he was blue in the face. To management and Jared if he had to. There was nothing more to it than that. 

“It certainly looks real,” Katrina cooly commented. 

“I’m good at my job,” Jensen retorted sharply. 

“So... Y/N, she seems like a nice girl. She’s single, young, sweet, you’ve got _great_ chemistry from what I’ve seen of the movie so far, and those photos only prove that.” Jensen could feel Jared growing more tense next to him and once again reached under the table to grip his thigh reassuringly, but Jared moved his leg away, so Jensen got the message. “You said so yourself last week, everyone loves a meeting on set love story. I’m sure the team at CJ would love the publicity. Would really sell the movie.” 

  
  


“No, I know where this is going and no,” Jensen told them adamantly. “Y/N is great, I’m not making her do this, I’m not asking her to do this. She deserves something real,” he grunted. 

“Then give her something real, Jensen."

“What? You mean you want me to let her think we’re actually dating?”

“Sure, she doesn’t have to know about… your other relationship. If you’re so good at your job, if you’re _bisexual,_ then you can go along with this?” Jensen’s blood boiled at the very thought of how low they were willing to make him stoop just to keep his _filthy little secret_ just that. 

“Hate to burst your bubble but she already does.” Katrina looked disappointed and Jensen relished in it for a moment. “Besides, is everyone forgetting that I’m in a real committed relationship with this man right here?” Jensen grunted, pointing at Jared. “If you want me to fake date someone for the public then fine, I’ll do it, but don’t for a second think it’ll break us up or it’ll _turn me straight._ Nothing real is ever going to come from this. I’m still going to love Jared at the end of it all, and we’re still going to want to come out eventually. Whether that’s when the show ends or in twenty years time. But one day we will, you won’t control us forever.” Jared looked at him for the first time in a while and offered him a small smile which helped Jensen relax a little. 

  
  


“Okay fine, so we go the beard route. You said Y/N knows about you both, right?” Katrina asked, clearly undeterred. Jensen nodded, taking a deep breath in a bid to calm himself a little more. “Then I still say she’s a strong candidate. She knows your secret, the meeting on set is still a believable story and like I said, you two have great chemistry. Plus she’s an actress, she should be able to pretend to love you.” A knot tightened in Jensen’s stomach. Not Y/N. She liked him, she actually wanted to be with him in that way and he couldn’t ask that of her. He just couldn’t; it wasn’t fair of him to. 

Jared cleared his throat and, leaning closer to Jensen whispered, “she’s got a point.” Jared didn’t seem happy about the fact and Jensen couldn’t deny he was right, but Jared didn’t know how Y/N had admitted to liking him last week. 

“Not Y/N, it can’t be her,” Jensen huffed. 

“Why not?” Katrina blinked. 

“She likes me, it’s not fair on her,” Jensen admitted. Jared was even more tense next to him, but he didn’t say anything. 

“Even better, she’ll probably agree to it,” Katrina smirked. Jensen clenched his jaw once more, the muscles starting to ache. He knew if she was the one they’d settled on, he wouldn’t be able to change their minds, but at least he could maybe have some control over this. 

“If it has to be her then let me be the one to ask her,” he sighed. Eyebrows raised around the table. “I don’t want you pricks coming in and pressuring her into it. Let me ask her as a friend, please. She’s a human being and I don’t want her to do this if she’s not comfortable with it.”

“How do we know you won’t convince her to say no?” Katrina pressed. 

“Because you’re right, okay? If I’ve gotta do this, she’s the right girl for the job. But I want it to come from me, that’s all.” 

  
  


It was silent around the table as everyone considered Jensen’s words. 

“Okay, you’ve got until next Tuesday, we’ll have a meeting about the legalities of the arrangement and I’ll expect the three of you there. I’ll set up the meeting with her management.” Jensen nodded silently and pushed back in his chair, ready to leave that stupid place. Jared followed behind him just as quietly and as they stood and waited for the elevator, Jared spoke up. 

“Are you going to do it?” he asked. Jensen looked over at him and jabbed the button impatiently for a second time. 

“Do what?” he pressed, “ask her to be my beard? Don’t think I have a choice.”  
“Are you going to convince her to say no?” Jared reiterated. 

“What do you think, Jared?” Jensen replied, stepping into the elevator. Jared didn’t join him, standing directly in front of him for a moment. 

  
  


“Don’t.” 

“Don’t?” Jensen frowned. Jared finally stepped in and the doors began to close.

“Don’t talk her out of it. We have to play their game, remember? I like Y/N, there’s something about her.”

“We can’t do that to her, man,” Jensen sighed. 

“That’s not up to you, it’s up to her,” Jared pointed out. Jensen drew a deep breath, not sure how to argue with him about that. 

“You’ve changed your tune,” he noted. Jared stepped up close to him, his extra few inches in height seeming more so the way he towered over Jensen for a moment. His hand brushed up the inside of Jensen’s thigh and then pressed hard on the still sensitive bruise he’d left behind upon Jensen’s request. Jensen hissed at the pain, feeling it jolt straight into his cock.

“You’re mine, nothing is going to change that.” Jensen whimpered at Jared’s words, not used to feeling like the one out of control. “If we keep them happy, they leave us alone, right?” Jared pointed out. Jensen nodded, gasping for breath. Jared removed his hand, letting it brush along the bulge growing tighter in Jensen’s jeans and Jensen wasn’t sure if that was deliberate or accidental, but his growing erection throbbed all the same. 

  
  


Jared faced the elevator doors again, calm and collected and when they opened, Jensen stuffed his hand in his pocket to sort himself out before following his boyfriend back towards the car. The underground parking lot was fairly empty given that it was past normal office hours, and they walked quietly through the empty spaces to their car that was alone in the corner of the concrete space. As they approached, Jared gripped Jensen’s arms and turned him around to face him, slamming him back against the car with a thud before kissing him passionately. The air was knocked out of Jensen’s lungs, the gasp in surprise - or for breath, Jensen couldn’t pinpoint which - was loud enough to echo around the space that engulfed them as Jared licked eagerly into Jensen’s mouth and pinned his body between his own and the car. Jensen reached up for Jared’s face and overpowered him easily enough, spinning them around so he was back in his natural space. Jared far too easily succumbed to him; they both knew this was the way it worked best. 

  
  


Jared broke apart from Jensen and panted, clinging to Jensen’s shirt for dear life.

“You’re mine, Jay,” he gasped. Jensen frowned, pained by the sadness and desperation in Jared’s words. 

“I’m yours, baby,” he confirmed, reaching up to grip Jared’s chin. He made sure he had eye contact. “I’m yours. Always will be.” Jared nodded and licked his lips, a frown still creasing his forehead but Jensen kissed him again, trying to drum his point home. He pulled back, dragging Jared with him and fumbled behind them for the car door handle as he opened the back door and encouraged Jared to get in. Jensen slid in alongside him and shut the door closed behind himself. They lunged for each other again, Jared already eagerly trying to remove Jensen’s shirt but getting impatient when Jensen wasn’t going along with it. Instead, he broke the kiss to strip his own shirt, dropping it to the footwell before kissing Jensen again, harder this time - more teeth and tongue and less hesitation. 

  
  


Jared tore into his own pants, shoving them down his legs and kicking his shoes off into the footwell, so he could remove his jeans and boxers completely. He was hard, the tip leaking precum on to his thigh where it lay, and Jensen bit down into his swollen bottom lip at the sight of him. Jared flicked his head, removing some of the hair from his eyes, and stared back at Jensen with his chest heaving. Jared reached for Jensen's hand and pulled it closer to him. Jensen assumed he was looking for physical attention, but instead he guided Jensen's hand to the bruise on his stomach. Jensen's fingers lay flat against the soft skin that felt no different to the rest of Jared's torso, but he knew it was there. 

  
  


"And I'm yours, no matter what," Jared confirmed. Jensen didn't say anything - couldn't say anything, as he stroked the sensitive patch of skin. His own cock was just as hard, but he paid it no mind as he looked at Jared. Really _looked_ at him and felt his heart pound in his chest. He wanted to tell him he loved him, but those words weren't enough. Nothing was enough. "I'm yours, Jen," Jared repeated, climbing into Jensen’s lap to capture his lips again, and Jensen realised from the desperation in Jared's whole body that he'd taken his silence the wrong way. 

"Yes baby, yes you are," Jensen agreed against Jared's puffy lips. Jared whimpered at the confirmation, and his hands flew to Jensen's belt as he eagerly unbuckled it and stuffed his hand into Jensen's jeans to wrap his fingers around hard flesh. Jensen moaned, tipping his head back as he palmed Jared's ass hard, and Jared moved down his legs a little to give himself the space he needed to release Jensen's erection completely. 

  
  


Once it was free, Jared began tugging, biting down on Jensen's bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, but Jensen didn't complain. Instead, he bucked up into Jared's hand and moaned loud enough for the whole parking lot to hear. Jared brought his hand up to his own mouth and spat onto it, spreading his salvia over Jensen's length. He repeated the action once more before reaching around his own body. 

"Baby, baby, we don't have to," Jensen panted out once he realised what Jared was trying to do. With no lube, it was a risky decision to make, and Jensen didn't want to hurt him.

"We do, Jen, we do," Jared told him desperately, lifting his hips and trying to get himself in the right position. 

"Jared, stop. Baby, this can wait," he reassured him. Jared placed a hand flat on Jensen's chest. 

"No, it can't. I want to, please Jen, I want to." Jared was begging, his voice thick with emotion, and Jensen felt his heart grow heavier as he eased up his grip on Jared; a silent grant of permission. Jensen couldn't deny he needed this too. 

  
  


Jared returned to slowly lining Jensen up. No lube and no preparation was calling for disaster, but Jared seemed determined as he braced himself on Jensen's chest and slowly lowered down onto him. Jensen just about fit, it was tight and it was uncomfortable, even for him, but Jared didn't complain, he kept dropping his body until Jensen was fully seated, and then drew a shuddered breath in, a look of pride washing over his face that he'd done it. Jensen wrapped his hand around Jared's throbbing erection and slowly pumped back and forth, feeling Jared relax enough around him that he could start to fuck him. 

"Good boy," Jensen soothed, "so fucking good for me, baby. All mine." Jared nodded, his eyes fluttering closed, and his moan choked in his throat. Jensen continued to watch his face closely for any sign of discomfort, but all he saw was pleasure and relief twisting at Jared's gorgeous features. Jared was lost in his head, Jensen could tell as he dropped and lifted his hips, and his lips curled around words he wasn't speaking out loud, until he was gasping and moaning louder still. Jensen sat up straighter to kiss him, the way Jared's cock trapped between their torsos as Jensen continued to wank him slowly, made Jared mewl harder. "That's it, baby. Feels so fucking good. Fuck you're so hot."

  
  


Jared's eyes opened onto Jensen's face, his cheeks flushed and his lips parted, and Jensen watched the very moment Jared realised he wanted to cum. 

"C'mon, baby," Jensen growled. Jensen reached up for Jared's hand, prying it away from his chest and guiding it to the inside of Jensen's thigh where the bruise was. "Cum for your man." Jensen could feel himself getting closer too, and after leaving Jared's hand behind, dug the pad of his thumb into his own claim mark on Jared's torso. "We'll cum together," he decided. Jared nodded, exhausted but eager. His brow furrowed and he clenched harder around Jensen's cock until Jensen suddenly found himself falling off the edge, losing control as he came hard inside him. He grunted his way through his orgasm, Jared's hips stuttering as he too started to shoot hot white ropes of cum between them. 

"Fuck fuck fuck," he chanted breathlessly. 

  
  


Jared's head crashed down to rest on Jensen's shoulder, and Jensen kissed at his hairline and took in the scent of his shampoo. 

"I love you, baby," he panted. 

"Love you too, thank you for letting me have that."

"How sore are you?" Jensen smirked slightly. 

"I'll be fine, it was worth it," he gave Jensen a lazy, post orgasmic bliss riddled smile and kissed his neck. 

"Wanna talk about it?" Jensen asked, not wanting to ruin the mood, but needing answers. 

"Can it wait until your dick is outta me?" Jared smirked, but Jensen knew he was trying to brush it off. Jensen's silence told Jared it hadn't worked. "I knew the second Ashley called they'd make Y/N your beard. At first it upset me because she's gorgeous and totally your type, and it made me feel insecure, but now I've had time to think about it, I'm okay. Because we'll always have this. No matter what, right?"

"Right, baby," Jensen agreed wholeheartedly. He let the silence grow for a moment before adding, "we should probably leave before we're spotted." 

  
  


Jared grumbled and pulled himself away from Jensen, climbing out of his lap, and Jensen's now soft cock finally slid fully out of him. Jared hissed as he sat back and Jensen's eyebrows raised as if to say _I told you so._ Jared smirked, paying him no mind as he bent down and retrieved his clothes, and Jensen put himself away. 

"You better not be too sore for a whole week like last time you wanted to fuck dry," Jensen grumbled, playfully. 

"Guess I'll have to stick it in you next time," Jared teased. Jensen scoffed and shook his head. 

"Oh no, we've been there before, crying is not a good look on me."

"Only because you're a wimp. Hm, maybe if this thing works out with Y/N I'll have somewhere to stick my dick finally," Jared winked. Jensen had no witty reply. He couldn't read Jared's face to know if he was joking or not. They'd had threesomes with girls before, but that was back at the start before they became a proper couple, back when they were both still discovering more about their sexualities and each other, and yeah, it was fun, but nothing like that had happened since they'd been official. Jensen had never even thought about it. Had Jared? Was that why Jared was so insecure about all this? 

  
  


"You know she won't really be my girlfriend, right?" Jensen pressed. 

"Sure, yeah I know," Jared shrugged, but he didn't sound convinced. Jensen frowned but didn't say anything else on the matter. Did Jared _want_ something to happen between them? Given how jealous he'd been at the very mention of it, Jensen couldn't see that being the case. But none of that even mattered anyway, because it was going to be completely and utterly fake, he was sure of it. 


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, anxiety, talk of fake relationship, talk of cheating, fluff

Jensen felt awkward around Y/N the next day at set. He knew he had to talk to her sooner rather than later about all this, but he couldn’t find the words, no matter how many carefully planned out speeches he formulated in his mind. None of them were good enough. Luckily, Y/N had chalked down Jensen’s awkward behaviour to the photos that had been leaked of the two of them, and she’d tried to break the ice by making a joke about how the media were going to react when the movie was finally released and they saw something a lot steamier than a trailer lot kiss. It had eased the tension a little bit, but Y/N had no idea what Jensen was about to ask of her. He desperately wanted to tell her to say no, warn her that it was a bad idea, but Jared had told him not to do that. Jared was on board with this. Jensen couldn’t deny that having management off their backs would be good, and he did get on with Y/N and - dare he admit it - there _was_ chemistry between them. And if there was anyone he wanted to fake date, it was Y/N.

Jensen managed to put it off until filming had ended for the day, but he knew he couldn’t delay it any longer when they both emerged from their trailers in their normal clothes and chatted casually about their plans for the night whilst heading towards the cars to take them home. 

“Hey, Y/N, can we talk a second?” Jensen asked, reaching out to grip her arm and stop her walking ahead. She turned around to face him.

“Yeah, everything okay?” she asked, her brow furrowed a bit. Jensen swallowed and licked his lips a little.

“Fancy going for dinner? So we can talk properly?” She smiled softly.

“Sounds good,” she agreed with a nod. He shouldn’t have left it this long, and maybe he could’ve waited until tomorrow when he saw her again, but that would’ve meant another sleepless night, another several hours of inner monologue as he tried to find the right way to approach this with her. He needed to get it over with.

They took the car to a local restaurant, nothing too fancy, but quiet and where they could hopefully be left undisturbed. Jensen text Jared on the journey over to let him know where he was going, and he had to resist the urge to invite him along. Although Jared was very much a part of this, Jensen didn’t want Y/N to feel pressured, or ganged up on in any way. He had to do this by himself. After all, it was predominantly about the two of them. She wouldn’t be fake dating Jared too. For the first time, Jensen let the thought enter his mind. Would they get Jared to _find a girlfriend_ next? Jensen considered for a moment how that would make him feel, and a dread sat thick in his stomach at the very idea. It wasn’t jealousy as such, it was more of an insecurity. What if Jared liked her better? What if he decided that being with a woman who could give him the children he sometimes talked about, who the public and management would approve of, was easier than staying with him? Was this how Jared felt about Y/N? 

“Is everything okay, Jen?” Y/N pried as they sat and waited for their drinks to arrive. It didn’t take long, and Jensen took a swig of whisky and licked his lips before he responded. 

“Yeah, I just need to ask you something,” he confessed. Her eyes widened in anticipation, and he wondered what was going through her head. “Those photos that leaked, they got some attention,” he started. Y/N nodded, taking a sip of her own drink, but she didn’t say anything, giving Jensen the time and quiet he needed to work out what he was going to say next. “Well management seemed happy about that. You know, because it takes the attention off of…” Jensen glanced around nervously for a second, worried he’d be overheard by someone that shouldn’t be listening, but he was fairly sure Y/N would know what he was saying. “The thing is, they’ve, urm, got it in their heads and urm… they want…” Jensen struggled and sighed heavily, shaking his head. 

“They want it to be me,” she finished for him, her choice of words telling him that she’d got on board with keeping things vague, just in case anyone heard. 

“Yeah, Y/N, I’m so sorry. Listen, you can say no,” Jensen urged. Despite what he’d told management, despite what Jared had said to him about the whole thing, Jensen just didn’t feel right if he didn’t point out that she had the option of saying no. 

“What if I want to do it?” she urged, her eyes twinkling at him in the low light. Jensen’s own eyes widened a little. 

“What? You’d want to… why?” he pressed, totally confused. 

She shrugged gently and sighed, “you’re my friend Jen and I love your relationship and I want to help protect that. It’s not forever right? And we get on, it could make a cute story,” she offered, taking another sip of her drink. “And I’m not going to pretend I wouldn’t get anything out of it.”

“Like what?” Jensen asked. Y/N bit her bottom lip softly. 

“Since those photos leaked and people have started talking about us being together I’ve gained more of a following. You’ve got a bigger fan base than me thanks to _Supernatural,_ I’m not ashamed to admit I’m a nobody compared to you. Hell, I couldn’t believe I was gonna be starring in a movie alongside you when I got the part.” Jensen shook his head in disagreement. Y/N was wonderful and talented, she just hadn’t been around as long as he had yet. But he was certain she was going to go on to be bigger and better than he could ever be.

“I’m not saying that’s the only reason I’d do this, but it helps.”

“I can’t believe you’re considering it,” Jensen confessed, sipping his whisky again. He wasn’t sure what he expected Y/N’s reaction to be, but somehow it wasn’t this. He always figured if she ever did agree to this it would’ve been after a lot of pressure from management. 

“Well I’ve had time to think about it,” she replied cooly, tracing her finger along the rim of her glass. “Ever since you mentioned that they wanted you to do that, I got thinking about it and I was considering offering, but I thought that might’ve been weird.” She stopped tracing her glass and looked up at him again. “And then the photos came out and the rumours started, and I thought they’d be stupid to not ask me at this point, unless they had some professional lined up or something.” Jensen looked at her, really _looked_ at her to figure out if she was serious or not. She’d considered this already? It meant she’d had time to think about it, that she wasn’t taking this lightly. 

“Don’t you want something real?” Jensen pressed, still trying to understand why she could even contemplate this. 

“I’m in my twenties, I’ve got plenty of time for _real,_ ” she defended, “plus, you do make good arm candy, and it wouldn’t hurt me to have you alongside me in public,” she winked over at him. Jensen scoffed and felt his cheeks heat up a little. “But-” she continued, her voice serious again, “if I’m not what _you_ want, then I’ll say no. So that they’ll drop me and find someone else.” Jensen looked back up at her and frowned. 

“Why wouldn’t I want you?” he asked. “I’ve already told you you’re gorgeous, and if I was single then I’d have gone into your trailer for that drink a long time ago,” he admitted. It was Y/N’s turn to feel flattered as she tried to keep the smirk off of her face and sipped some more of her drink. 

“Maybe in another life,” she offered. “But anyway, I think this could be fun, right? We’d get to hang out and I mean, it would just be like we’re friends but we hold hands and kiss for the public. Lord knows we’ve already done all that kissing stuff for the camera, clearly it looks believable, it’s no different to that.” Jensen nodded in agreement. 

“Okay, so we’re going to do this?” he pressed. She smiled at him and nodded, raising her glass and Jensen clinked his with hers. “Here’s to our relationship then,” he smiled.

“So, do I get to call you my boyfriend now?” she teased, making Jensen laugh. 

Jensen was still trying to wrap his head around what had just happened as he stepped through his front door and shrugged his jacket off. The house was quiet, but as he approached the living room he could hear the gentle buzz of some football game, and came face to face with Jared sprawled out along the couch, asleep on his back with one arm flung over his face. Jensen smiled softly for a second and let his eyes fall on the way Jared’s t-shirt had ridden up enough to expose his lower stomach, Jensen’s claim mark still prominent against his tanned flesh. It brought him a sense of peace and comfort to see it, and he stopped thinking about Y/N and their fake relationship for a moment. He moved away from the doorway and headed into the kitchen, reaching in the fridge for a bottle of beer, twisting the cap off and taking a long swig of the cold, bitter liquid. 

“Hey, you’re back,” Jared’s voice was deeper, a little more gruff from sleep, and his hair was a little wild as he rubbed his eyes and squinted at the bright light illuminating from the fridge. 

“Hey baby, sorry, did I wake you?” Jensen asked, closing the fridge so the lighting was soft again. 

“No, but I saw your jacket, so I knew you were home,” Jared commented, leaning on the opposite side of the island Jensen was standing in front of. 

“Sorry, you looked peaceful, didn’t want to disturb you,” Jensen explained. “Beer?” Jared shook his head. 

“How did it go?” he asked, looking up at Jensen almost fearfully, clearly he was anxious for the story. 

“Really well actually,” Jensen said, putting Jared out of his misery. 

“Yeah?” he asked, still dubious. Jensen realised that _really well_ coming from him could mean she said no still, so he elaborated. 

“She wants to do it. We talked about it and she said yes.” There was a flash of something Jensen was too slow to read over Jared’s face, but ultimately he smiled softly. 

“Good,” he nodded. “So you’ve got a girlfriend,” he commented. 

“A fake girlfriend,” Jensen corrected him. 

“Have you told Ashley?” Jared asked next. 

“No, I’ll do it in the morning.” Jared nodded again and moved around the island to kiss Jensen once before heading out of the kitchen. Jensen grabbed his beer and followed Jared out, along the hallway and towards the stairs. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jensen pressed. Jared glanced over his shoulder, continuing to head for the stairs. 

“I’m tired, Jen, let’s talk tomorrow,” he suggested. 

“Okay, you going to bed?” 

“Yeah.” Jensen drew a deep breath and chewed the inside of his cheek for a second. “Want me to come?” he checked. Jared stopped walking, one foot on the first step.

“No, it’s okay.” He started to climb the stairs and Jensen sighed heavily once Jared was out of earshot. He realised that Y/N saying yes was one step closer to making it real, but Jared had wanted this, more than Jensen had, so Jensen was surprised that Jared wasn’t feeling the same sense of relief that he did. Jensen had to get to the bottom of this soon if he ever wanted it to work without losing Jared in the process.

“Morning baby,” Jared chirped, placing a mug of coffee down in front of Jensen the second he had stepped foot into the kitchen. He was in his running gear, which told Jensen he’d already been up a while. Jared’s mood was a complete turn around from the one he’d gone to bed with, and that alone left Jensen’s mind spinning. 

“Morning, how are you?” Jensen asked pointlessly, Jared was clearly in a great mood as he beamed over at him. 

“I’m good, how are you? Sleep okay? You want eggs? I’m thinking of making some. What time do you head to set?” Jared asked all at once. Jensen’s eyebrows raised as his brain tried to process every question that had been hurled his way.

“How much coffee have you had already today?” he chuckled, picking up his own and deciding he definitely needed some if he was going to be dealing with a boyfriend who was clearly hyped up for some reason. 

“None.” Jared pursed his lips. “So eggs?” he prompted. 

“Sure,” Jensen replied slowly. “You sure you’re okay, baby?” he asked again.

“Yeah, I’m good. Are you?”

“Yeah,” Jensen replied. Half a lie - he wasn’t sure what to make of Jared’s mood, especially not after the night before and the news Jensen had delivered.

“Oh, don’t forget to call Ashley about Y/N,” Jared reminded him, cracking some eggs into a bowl. 

“Right, yeah of course,” Jensen nodded, clearing his throat. “So it’s gonna be weird, huh? Me having a fake girlfriend,” he commented, watching Jared’s face closely for even a hint of any kind of jealousy or tension. But nothing. Jensen knew immediately Jared had built a wall, he was _acting._

“Maybe to begin with, but I’m sure we’ll find a rhythm, it’s just stuff we need to get used to,” Jared shrugged.

“Yeah, you’re right. Well like Y/N said last night, it’s no different to the way we’ve been acting on camera for the movie.” 

“Exactly. And we all know you can act.” Jared moved around to kiss Jensen, before returning to making eggs. Jared’s eyes became fixed on the bowl of eggs and he used his shoulder to rub at his forehead. Jensen watched carefully as Jared’s fingers clung to the bowl and whisk, his jaw twitching ever so slightly. 

“Anything else you wanna discuss about this arrangement?” Jensen pried. Jared remained quiet. “Jar,” he prompted. 

Jared finally stopped whisking, like he could’ve done a couple of minutes ago, judging by the state of the eggs, and sighed. 

“You’ll tell me, won’t you? You’ll be honest with me,” he prompted. 

“I’m always honest with you, baby. Tell you what, anyway?” Jensen frowned. 

“If it ever becomes real,” Jared said quietly. 

“Baby, it’s never going to be real with anyone but you,” Jensen reassured him. 

“I know you believe that Jen, and I want to too, but I can see that chemistry people go on about between you and… I don’t know,” he shrugged. He continued to look down at the bowl. “She can give you a normal life, one that doesn’t upset anyone or jeopardise your career. Maybe one day you’ll decide that’s what you want. And if it is, then I’ll live with that, and I’ll make my peace with it because I just want you to be happy. But I need you to be honest about it and tell me, please.” 

“Jared-” But Jared cut him off before Jensen could even tell him what utter bullshit that was.

“Just promise me, Jen. Even if you don’t believe it, even if you think I’m being paranoid, just promise me.” Jared finally looked up at him, his eyes were a little glazed over and Jensen frowned ever so slightly. Jared truly believed that. He truly believed that one day, Jensen would choose someone else over him. 

“I promise, Jared,” he whispered. Jared nodded and cleared his throat. 

“Thank you.” Jared turned around and set a pan on the stove to cook the eggs and then called back over his shoulder, “You should call Ashley.” 

Jensen swallowed hard, his heart pounding in his chest. “Yeah, okay.”


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: boring legal stuff, angst, talk of fake relationship

Coupled with the original paparazzi photos from their rehearsal, the photos that had leaked of Jensen and Y/N sharing a _romantic meal out for a date_ had further sent the public into a frenzy, speculating whether or not they were dating and concluding they definitely were. It appeared the plan was already accidentally in motion by the time they sat down on Tuesday morning with both management teams to discuss the contract that they were signing into regarding their _relationship._ Jensen figured it would be easy enough to just play along with the rumours and not deny them without ever having to officially _announce_ that they were together. The least lying he needed to do, the better. Katrina was joined by Ashley and a member of the PR team that specifically dealt with personal affairs, Jacob, and Y/N was accompanied by her own management; her manager Chess, and someone from their own PR team, Sally. 

Jensen had assumed that Y/N had already approached her management about the arrangement because contracts and certain clauses had already been drawn up. Alongside Y/N having to sign a confidentiality agreement, Jensen and Jared apparently also had to sign one to promise they wouldn’t come out about their relationship on their own accord, before it was arranged and agreed with everyone. Jensen gripped the pen extra hard and hesitated on the dotted line, and when he felt Jared’s hand grip his thigh under the table he turned his head to offer him a sad smile. Once they signed this there was no going back, although contracts they’d already signed over the years made it difficult for them to just come out whenever they wanted, this would really put the nail on the coffin. It was the final gag in their mouths. 

  
  


“You’re doing the right thing,” Katrina reassured him, clearly noticing his hesitation. Jensen drew a deep breath, management’s encouragement was the last thing that was going to make him feel any better about this. He glanced at Y/N who offered him a soft, sympathetic smile, and then he finally looked at his boyfriend. 

“I’ll sign first,” Jared told him, taking the pen from his grasp. A frown tugged at Jensen’s brow as he watched Jared’s eyes skim over the page before holding the pen to the dotted line. He turned his face and looked at Jensen. “I love you, and nothing is going to change that, okay?” he pressed. Jensen nodded and suddenly the pen glided across the paper, inking Jared’s signature in the appropriate space. Jared let out a breath and handed the pen back to Jensen. Jensen decided that Jared had the right idea and he too signed before he could think about it anymore. 

  
  


It seemed like Katrina let out a breath of relief as she quickly slid the paper from in front of them and tidied it away in a file. Jared gripped Jensen’s chin and kissed him, right there on the lips in front of the rest of the room. It took Jensen off guard for a second, but he quickly kissed back and they broke away after a couple of seconds. 

“Okay, so now let’s move onto the actual arrangement and contract with Y/N,” Katrina smiled, not lingering on what she had just witnessed for even a second. Jensen rubbed his thumb over his slightly damp lips and cleared his throat, grabbing his glass of water to wet his mouth. Jared wasn’t shy about grabbing Jensen’s hand and holding it on the table top for anyone to see, and Jensen knew he was trying to make a point. They were still very much together, no matter what any of those pieces of paper said. 

  
  


Quickly, Katrina jumped straight into the contract and the three of them were taken through what they could and could not do, photos they could post, things they could say and things they had to avoid. Katrina and Jacob kept stressing the importance of them not breaking their contracts _for their own good,_ and Jensen wanted to roll his eyes by the fourth repeat of the damn phrase. Apparently Jared didn’t have the same self restraint as Jensen, because he did. It was arranged that Jensen and Y/N would be more flirty during any kind of press for the movie, and by the premiere, everyone should know that they were, in fact, a couple - meaning they could _kiss on the red carpet._ Jensen knew that was when the hard part would start - once it was no longer speculation but a confirmed relationship that he would have to keep up. Luckily, neither he nor Jared were particularly vocal when it came to social media, they mainly posted about the show, or the odd random thing here and there, but hardly anything about their personal lives - they’d grown used to keeping a lot of those things as private as possible. 

  
  


Y/N seemed to have the hardest job, as a female and someone who was a lot more open with her fans, her account was sure to be the main source of photos and information regarding their relationship. Jacob had suggested taking as many photos together as possible in different places and different outfits, and at least seeming like they were together constantly, even if they only meet up once a week to do it. Jensen enjoyed Y/N’s company, and particularly for now, with the movie, they were spending enough time together, so that part wouldn’t be so bad. 

“Let your fans see each other on your socials, and maybe keep Jared out as much as possible,” Jacob suggested. 

“Jared’s my best friend, my _brother on and off screen,_ right?” Jensen pressed, slightly aggravated. “I’m not going to pretend we don’t have a relationship at all. You want me to keep the romance out of it? Fine. But I don’t care about the world knowing I spend every day with that man.” 

  
  


“Just be careful,” Jacob reasoned. Jared squeezed Jensen’s hand and Jensen relaxed a little. 

“If we want to sell your relationship with Y/N, we can’t keep fuelling the fire with Jared, fans already suspect something between you. If things with Y/N aren’t believable enough they’re going to see through this straight away,” Katrina explained.

“And as the contract states, if and when this arrangement comes to an end, we want it to remain a secret. We don’t want people knowing that Y/N was your beard. If you come out then we want people to believe your relationship with Y/N was still very much real.” Y/N’s team hadn’t done much talking, Katrina leading the whole thing mainly, but Sally was clear when she spoke up that she was protecting Y/N and her image, and Jensen appreciated that.

“You want it to seem like Jensen lied to her? Used her?” Jared pressed with a frown. 

  
  


Jensen squeezed Jared’s hand this time, trying to calm him the way he’d calmed Jensen moments before, but Jared barely looked at Jensen for even a second, still scowling at the management.  
“It’s okay, baby, she’s doing this for us, the least we can do is not ruin her image in the process,” Jensen reasoned. Jared’s jaw clenched but he didn’t argue with him about it. Jensen was more than happy with Y/N coming out of this seeming blissfully ignorant. She was already going above and beyond for him. 

“We would play it that you and Jensen tried to deny your feelings for one another, that Jensen did love Y/N, but that ultimately, he wanted to come out and be with you,” Jacob explained, “but we don’t need to worry about that for a long time yet.” _A long time yet_ made Jensen’s stomach clench, and he wondered just how long that meant. He knew, of course, if management had their say he and Jared would never come out. Not unless coming out became fashionable or there was some ulterior motive behind it. 

  
  


“What about coming out whilst staying with Y/N?” Jensen asked. “I’m bisexual, that wouldn’t discredit my relationship with her.”

“No, but it would credit your relationship with Jared and that’s a risk we can’t take,” Katrina argued. Jensen huffed a breath and nodded reluctantly. The conversation moved onto the length of the contract and how serious they expected Jensen and Y/N to get. As soon as marriage and kids were brought up the atmosphere in the room shifted entirely. 

“Woah, woah woah,” Jensen spoke up again, seeing Y/N looking just as stunned. “No one said anything about fake marriage and babies.” 

“These are all ifs and buts. There are couples out there who have gotten married and had children as part of the ruse and actually it’s worked really well, because a lot of these gay couples do want children of their own and so do their wives or husbands. They think of their wives as surrogates, or in some cases their husbands as sperm donors.” 

  
  


“No, that’s too far, we’re not doing that,” Jensen argued. 

“I agreed to this because I figured we’d eventually split up, I’m not willing to sign my life away into a fake relationship. I want to do the whole marriage and kids thing for real one day,” Y/N argued. 

“Okay, we can put a pin in all that. Shall we say that the initial contract runs for eighteen months?” Katrina asked, trying to calm the room down. Jensen sighed heavily. Eighteen months sounded like a long time, but hopefully the show would still be running by then and as long as the show ran, they couldn’t come out and he knew it. It was a strange feeling to want something to last forever and end all at once. Jensen looked at Y/N, this was on her - all of this was on her, he wanted her to be completely happy and comfortable with whatever was decided today.

“That sounds okay,” she confirmed after meeting Jensen’s eye and picking up on him awaiting her approval before giving his own.

“It’s a decent length of time for a serious relationship, not long enough that people wonder about things like marriage or kids but long enough that should this arrangement not work out, then you still seem like you had a decent relationship,” Jacob defended. 

  
  


Eighteen months was agreed and the conversation moved on to living arrangements and public outings. It was _highly recommended_ (which Jensen took as meaning they had to) that they were often seen in public together and that should they be in public, they hold hands and act like any normal couple would. It was next ‘suggested’ that they went on at least one vacation a year together. Jensen already knew that once their relationship became public his plus ones to events would no longer be open to anyone, which he always took to mean Jared, but his now _girlfriend,_ but luckily, Jared was also given invites to these events too. As for living together - luckily the public barely saw anything to do with their homes, but it was brought up that eventually Y/N should start posting _at home_ photos in and around Jensen’s house just for credibility. 

  
  


It was all incredibly gruelling and the amount of things that Jensen had never even considered when he originally thought about faking a relationship were whirring around in his head and making him feel paranoid. He was surely going to fuck it up. It would surely be easier to go through all the legal crap of them breaking their contracts and removing their gags to come out than _this._ But he had to at least try it this way. For everyones’ sake. By the time the conversation moved onto money, Jensen had a headache. The boys agreed to giving more of a percentage in their earnings to their management to cover what Y/N would get in compensation, and Jensen was more than happy to foot any bills that came with their _dates,_ so luckily, that part of the contract was breezed over with ease. 

  
  


It was four hours later that they were finally ready to sign along the dotted line, and Jensen’s hand felt clammy when Jared finally pulled his away so Jensen could grab the pen. They each had their own contracts, and there were several places for each of them to sign as papers were thrust in front of them, with neon yellow arrows pointing in the relevant places, until it had come down to the last signature. Jensen once again hesitated. It shouldn’t feel right to do this, and for the most part a lot of it didn’t. He hated how fake it was, all the lies and secrets they had to keep, he hated he was putting Y/N through this and that Jared was going to be pushed out - though he figured it wouldn’t be long until they were all here again for Jared to get his own fake girlfriend - there was so much about this arrangement that didn’t sit right with Jensen. But when he looked at Y/N and then at Jared, something also felt good about it. He was happy that it was Y/N, he was glad he got to fake it with her of all people, and he was happy that Jared was on board for the most part. So he took a deep breath, pressed his pen to the paper and within seconds, he’d officially gotten himself a beard.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: fake dating, flirting, talk of sex scenes, kissing, jealousy, mild smut, biting, marking/claiming

Jensen felt as his shirt collar was smoothed back into place and Marie ran the foundation brush over his cheek one last time before stepping out of the way. 

“All ready?” Someone behind the camera asked. 

“Yeah, I’m good to go, are you guys?” The interviewer, Matt, asked them both. Jensen looked across at Y/N, noting how beautiful she was in her outfit and the way that her hair and make up had been done. He decided he much preferred the real Y/N to the way she was dressed and made up for her character in the movie. 

“I’m ready,” he confirmed, “bab - urm, Y/N?” he checked. The slip up was intentional, of course, all one clever ruse to get people speculating about their relationship and Jensen knew that someone who interviewed celebrities for the latest gossip for a living wasn’t going to let that slide on by. He could notice out the corner of his eye as Matt looked down to his notes and made relevant changes. The PR team for the movie were more than happy with the two of them flaunting their relationship. It would only make the movie more popular. People loved it when two actors were a couple on and off screen. Hell, they probably wouldn’t have cared if not a single question was about the movie, and all about them and their new relationship. 

“I’m ready, thank you,” Y/N told them politely. Jensen smiled at Matt and he made the necessary introductions. 

“And I’m joined today by the two lead stars in an upcoming movie called _All this Time,_ Jensen Ackles and Y/N Y/L/N. Nice to see you both.” They both said hi and smiled politely, and Matt quickly got into the interview. “Jensen, obviously this movie is very different from Supernatural which is what a lot of the fans will be used to seeing you in, how have you found the change?” 

“It’s been fun and very interesting playing such a different character. Ryan is a lot like Dean in some ways but not in others, and I’ve enjoyed kind of getting my teeth into a role like that, and of course, shooting movies is always different to shooting shows.”

“Because from what we’ve heard about the movie so far, there’s a lot of nudity and urm...adult themes in this which Supernatural doesn’t have a lot of.” 

“No, yeah it’s definitely a very different type of thing.”

“Were you nervous going into it knowing there was that much… exposure, I suppose you could say?” 

  
  


“Sure, a little. Those kinds of scenes are always somewhat awkward and can be a little daunting, but I think if you’re with the right people it helps. Me and Y/N get along so great so it’s made it fun.” Y/N giggled next to him and hid her face a little bit. 

“This whole time I’ve been pinching myself, like _I’m having fake sex with Dean Winchester,_ which to me is crazy,” Y/N spoke up with a blush. Jensen laughed and she glanced at him coyly.

“That’s so cute,” Jensen noted quietly, but loud enough for the cameras to still pick it up. Matt also laughed. 

“Y/N, this is your first big role in a movie like this, how have you found it?”  
“Like Jensen said, I think who you’re acting alongside really makes a difference, and being able to shoot with him has been amazing. We get on so well and we have such a good time together on and off set, so this whole thing has been crazy but amazing.” She looked at Jensen again and bit her bottom lip before looking back at Matt and clearing her throat. Matt was buying it, Jensen could tell from the smirk on his face as he looked between the two of them. 

“So talking of being off set, you two seem to be spending a lot of time together at the moment,” he noted. Jensen laughed and cleared his throat, glancing at Y/N who was seeming a little flustered. 

“Like Y/N said, we get on.” Jensen didn’t offer any more, but he knew his reluctance to elaborate would say more than he needed to. There would be no doubt in Matt or the rest of the public’s minds now that something was happening between them. 

  
  


The interview continued for a little longer and included some kind of light hearted game that Y/N won, and as they announced _cut_ , Jensen relaxed a little; at least as much as he could whilst still playing his new part. He draped his hand along the back of Y/N’s chair and stroked her shoulder gently with his fingertips, knowing crew were still around to witness it, and Y/N leaned into him. 

“That was believable right?” she whispered.

“I think we nailed it,” Jensen boasted just as quietly. Y/N bit her bottom lip and giggled, and Jensen’s stare lingered on her mouth for a second before he looked away. They were told they were done, and both made their way back to their dressing rooms to get ready to head back to set to do some filming. Very few people were in on Jensen and Y/N’s new secret - the secret being that their relationship was fake. So when it came to shooting, their blossoming romance ruse needed to be kept up for the crew’s sake. The last thing they needed was one of them to blab about them _not looking like a couple behind the scenes._

  
  


Each time _cut_ was called between takes, Jensen would let his hands linger on Y/N’s body a little longer, or he’d take his time breaking the kiss. They’d giggle and whisper amongst themselves and spent more time in each other’s trailers than before. It had been over a week since they started this act, and Jensen was surprised at how easily he’d fallen into it. He didn’t find it as hard or exhausting as he thought he would. He did enjoy Y/N’s company, she did genuinely make him laugh and blush sometimes, and it was easy to flirt with her. For the most part it wasn’t an act. But he knew as their relationship became more _serious_ it would get harder. He had to prepare for that much at least. 

  
  


Jared had been fairly relaxed about the whole thing, now that it was all official and there was no backing out of it, he seemed to have resigned to that fact. They’d barely heard from Ashley all week, except to check in about the movie and for once, they both felt like they could breathe. If anything, this was better than when management didn’t know. Back then they were constantly worried they’d get found out, walking on eggshells to seem like anything but the gay couple they were. But now they didn’t have to worry about that, and since Y/N had officially joined the picture, management had stepped back from pressuring them both to break up, which was nice. With shooting for the movie slowly drawing to an end, Jensen was hyper aware that it wouldn’t be this way for long. Soon they were going to have to go out of their way to see Y/N and to make it seem like they were spending time together, and for the most part Jensen didn’t mind the thought of Y/N becoming a permanent part of his life, but Jared barely knew her still. Jensen needed to bring them both closer by then.

  
  


Jensen found Y/N in the food court as he was leaving for the day. The interview that morning felt like days ago now, Y/N’s hair and makeup were different thanks to filming. 

“I’m heading out now,” he told her, noticing there were a lot of eyes on the two of them all of a sudden. For someone who was in front of the camera a lot, Jensen got shy easily, and that was one part of this new arrangement he wasn’t liking - the constant attention. But he knew it would be ten times worse if he’d have come out with Jared, so maybe this was a good thing. 

“Okay, well we have another interview tomorrow morning, so I guess I’ll see you then?” she asked.

“Yeah, you will, bring your best flirting game,” he winked, making her chuckle. No one was around to hear their conversation, but from afar it would look like he was charming her in some way. Sometimes they would make a point to leave together, but Y/N wasn’t done shooting like he was, and he was eager to get home and spend some time with Jared considering he’d had to leave Jared sleeping in bed at five am that morning. 

  
  


“I urm, should probably kiss you goodbye,” he noted, vaguely glancing around and noting the amount of attention they were still getting. 

“Are you sure you’re ready for us to become official on set?” she teased. Jensen scoffed a laugh. 

“We don’t really have much choice, better to get it out of the way, right? I’m getting sick of the whispers,” he confessed. 

“Me too,” she agreed. Jensen didn’t think on it any longer as he reached up and gripped the back of Y/N’s neck, bringing her in to kiss her. It was the first time he was kissing Y/N. Not Ryan kissing Lizzie, but Jensen kissing Y/N and it felt… different. Jensen couldn’t put his finger on it, and his mind was spinning, not realising he had even pushed his tongue into her mouth until he felt her own move against it. She clung to the front of his shirt and Jensen suddenly pulled back, a little alarmed by himself. 

  
  


He wiped his lips dry and didn’t dare to glance around. Even if that kiss were genuine, he’d never kissed someone like that in front of so many people, not as himself. Y/N was slightly out of breath as she looked up at him through her lashes. 

“I think they know now,” she whispered, the volume of the food hall now noticeably quieter. 

“Yeah, I think they do,” Jensen nodded, “I’ll - urm - I’ll see you tomorrow.” He offered Y/N one last smile and she returned it before he headed out. His mind was still spinning all the way to the car as he thought about the kiss, and he couldn’t put his finger on one singular emotion. There were nerves - some strange twisting in his stomach that he’d just kissed Y/N outside of his character kissing hers. There was guilt - a heavy weight as he thought about Jared and tried to rationally remind himself that he was doing this _for Jared._ Then there were the butterflies - but were they butterflies? Something that made him feel both alive and jittery all at once like an anxiety crawling over his skin, and he just couldn’t focus on any one feeling at once. It had been a long time since he’d kissed a girl and meant it - no, he didn’t mean that kiss either, it didn’t mean anything more than some elaborate ruse, right? 

  
  


He thought about it the whole way home but still wasn’t any clearer on his thoughts or emotions about the whole thing when he arrived at his front door and stepped into his house to hear his own voice on the TV. 

“ _Sure, a little. Those kinds of scenes are always somewhat awkward and can be a little daunting, but I think if you’re with the right people it helps. Me and Y/N get along so great so it’s made it fun.”_

Jensen grumbled, he was told the interview would go live later on that day and he knew Jared would want to watch it as soon as possible, so this was inevitable. But between the full day of filming and then the kiss he was still coming to terms with, Jensen hadn’t thought about the interview twice since. He leaned against the doorframe and saw Jared sat on the couch, illuminated by the glow of the TV. He glanced at Jensen and reached for the remote, pausing the screen.

  
  


“Hey,” Jared swallowed. 

“Hey,” Jensen grumbled, finally feeling just how tired he really was. His earlier plans of spending time with Jared were out of the window. All he needed was sleep. 

“Dinner is take out if you fancy it,” Jared told him.

“Nah, I’m not hungry. Think I’ll take a shower and head to bed. It’s another early start.” Jensen yawned as if to highlight how tired he really was, and Jared’s brow creased for a moment. 

“It’s only six pm.” 

“Is it?” Jensen asked. It felt much later than that. “Carry on watching that if you want. Feel free to tell me how much of a twat I sound,” he added. 

“I’ve already watched it three times,” Jared noted. 

“Oh, and how much of a twat do I sound?” Jensen prompted with a small smirk. Jared didn’t play along as he rose to his feet. 

“You did a good job,” Jared commented as he got closer. “Even I believed it for a second.” They didn’t need to address what _it_ was. Jensen swallowed. He didn’t know what to reply to that. 

  
  


Jared apparently wasn’t looking for a reply, though, as he reached Jensen and gripped his wrists, pushing him back against the wall behind him. Jensen grunted under his breath as his back slammed against the brick, and Jared immediately ducked his head to kiss Jensen’s neck. 

“Baby, I’m tired,” Jensen protested with a sigh, but he was ignored. It wasn’t that Jensen didn’t _want to,_ but he really just wasn’t in the mood after such a long day. The feeling of Jared’s lips and teeth on his neck were sparking arousal regardless of what his brain had to say on the matter, however. “Baby,” Jensen prompted again. Jared’s hands moved to the front of Jensen’s jeans, and he barely fumbled with the belt for a moment before it was undone and he was moving onto undoing his jeans. Jensen’s breathing grew heavier as his cock grew harder, despite his exhaustion. Jared’s lips moved along Jensen’s jaw to his mouth and he kissed him hungrily. His teeth sinking down into Jensen’s plump bottom lip, his tongue thrusting into Jensen’s mouth and Jensen noted how much thicker and bigger it was than Y/N’s - he’d never noticed that before. He’d never noticed how much firmer Jared’s lips were, the slight prickle of Jared’s facial hair rubbing against his chin. 

  
  


Jared pulled back to begin kissing down Jensen’s neck again as his hands gripped the waistbands of both Jensen’s jeans and boxers, and he pushed them down Jensen’s legs to free his semi hard cock. Jared’s lips moved down Jensen’s chest, over his t-shirt as Jared dropped to his knees and Jensen grew harder still looking down to see Jared’s face _right there._ God, he needed him now, no matter how tired he was, he needed _something._ Jensen gasped for breath, swallowing hard as he pressed his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. But instead of feeling Jared’s mouth around his cock like he so desperately wanted, Jared’s hands gripped his thighs, and he felt the sharp, but now familiar, pain of Jared’s teeth sinking into the flesh on his inner thigh. Jensen hissed as Jared sucked and bit at the tender skin until the fading bruise became more prominent once more, and once Jared was happy, he reached for Jensen’s pants and pulled them back up to his hips. He rose back to his full height and kissed Jensen once. 

  
  


To say Jensen was confused and a little thrown off, would be an understatement. Jared kissed him again, clearly not happy with the lack of response he got the first time, and Jensen puckered his lips slightly to meet the kiss, but still the frown grew on his forehead. 

“Jar-” his voice died in his throat when Jared stepped back and walked out of the room. 

“Sure you don’t want take out? I’m getting Chinese,” he called in from the kitchen. Jensen swallowed and licked his lips, drawing a deep breath as he reached into his pocket to rearrange his uncomfortable erection. 

“N-no, I’m gonna have a shower,” he called back. Jared replied with an _okay_ and Jensen was left even more confused than before as he climbed the stairs with the ghost of Jared’s teeth still throbbing against his skin, and the wet of salvia drying on the bruise that Jared never let fade. 


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: acting, sex scene, making out, kissing in the rain, arousal on set, male masturbation, phone sex, jealousy, angst, fluff

“Jesus, it’s cold,” Y/N complained, hugging herself under the water that poured down on them to mimic rain. 

“Can we go from the top guys?” Mick called over the sound of the downpour, and both Jensen and Y/N climbed back into their respective sides of the car. It was hard to hear above the water showering down on the roof of the car when _action_ was being called, so the two of them decided between themselves when to start the scene. 

“Go,” Jensen muttered softly and Y/N threw the car door open and stepped out. Jensen was right behind her. The water hit his skin and soaked him in seconds, his hair flattening to his head, and Y/N was right, the water was icy cold. 

“What the hell, Lizzie?!” he yelled above the rain, throwing his arms out. She hugged herself, her shirt going see through and showing off her pink bra by design. 

“This isn’t going to work, is it? We’ve only been driving an hour and already we’re arguing!” 

“Oh here we fucking go again…” he grunted, shaking his head. “What do you fucking want from me, Lizzie?!” he screamed. “You wanted to run away? We’re fucking running aren’t we? What more do you fucking want?!” 

“You infuriate me! I can’t - I can’t live like this!” She screamed back. Jensen kicked the tyre of the car and yelled in frustration. 

“Then I’ll take you home, back to him, is that what you want?!” 

“No! Ryan I -” She shook her head and Jensen made his way around the car to her. 

“What do you want?!” he shouted louder, right in her face. Y/N looked between each of his eyes over and over and then kissed him. 

Jensen didn’t pay any mind to the water once Y/N was kissing him, her tongue pushing into his mouth and her hands gripping at his soaked shirt as she pressed herself up as tight against him as she could. Jensen reached up and pulled her blouse open, popping buttons as her chest heaved in her pink bra, and she scrambled to undo his belt and loosen his slacks. Jensen picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he carried her over to the bonnet of the car and sat her on it. They scrambled around each other’s waists aimlessly whilst still kissing passionately, so passionately that Jensen could barely breathe, his head feeling fuzzy and his stomach doing somersaults every time Y/N nipped at his lip or flicked her tongue over his. He’d noticed that her kisses had started doing that more and more whether they were in character or not. His fingers gripped at her waist almost bruisingly as he fought off his erection and tried to keep a level head. 

They started thrusting together, moving in such a perfect sync that you’d think they’d choreographed the whole scene. Jensen kissed down her neck, licking, biting and sucking on the skin as he felt her heartbeat thudding beneath his mouth. He growled, feeling her grip at his shoulders and she whimpered his character’s name. 

“That’s it, c’mon baby,” he grunted, pulling her tighter against him and burying his face into her neck, ashamed at the real twist of pleasure that was creeping across his features. No matter how hard he tried to stop it, he was getting hard. 

“Oh fuck, Ryan, oh god,” she squealed. Jensen swallowed her moans with his mouth, he didn’t like the sound of his pseudonym on her lips. The rain continued to soak them, thudding against their exposed skin and the bonnet of the car. Y/N’s makeup ran down her cheeks but she still looked beautiful as she crashed back against the windshield and arched her back, her breasts heaving towards Jensen’s face and he dropped it to kiss at the valley of them. She moaned again, a sharp intake of breath catching in her throat. 

Jensen gasped against her skin and finally stopped thrusting, he could hear that the scene had ended vaguely over the sound of the rain but he didn’t move for a moment. Y/N’s fingers had woven their way into his hair, and she slowly loosened her grip and looked down at Jensen who looked up at her from his place still at her breasts. 

“That was intense,” she panted, sitting up and prompting Jensen to finally move. 

“Yeah, he agreed softly, quick to redo his slacks and belt, subtly shoving his half hard cock into a better position as he did so. If Y/N noticed when she glanced in that direction, she didn’t say anything, and she worked on rebuttoning whatever she could of her blouse with the remaining buttons. Jensen realised someone had come to cover them with an umbrella and offered the person a soft appreciative smile as he helped Y/N down off the hood of the car. They walked out of the rain zone and were handed large fluffy towels to wrap themselves in. 

After standing around for a couple of minutes whilst the shots were checked over, they were both given the all clear to take a few hours break. Jensen’s cock was being stubborn it seemed, because it wasn’t going down. It had been several days since he and Jared had been properly intimate. Every time anything started it wasn’t finished for some reason or another. Though, Jared had been eager to keep the bruise alive on his thigh, and Jensen had obliged a few times in topping up Jared’s own bruise on his hip. He couldn’t deny he liked seeing it there, he liked feeling it and knowing it was their little secret - just for them and no one else, their own brand. Still, Jensen needed something more intimate than a love bite, and he was sure that, mixed with getting caught up in the scene and being in character, were to blame. He was quick to head back to his trailer and showered in warm, clean water. Between thinking over the scene and thinking about that time he showered and stepped out to see Jared naked on his trailer bed, Jensen was undeniably horny, his cock fully hard and begging for attention. If he wasn’t needed on set any more that day, he’d already be driving home to Jared. 

Jensen lay back on his bed, pulling the towel from around his waist to fall open beneath him and reached down for his erection, gripping it softly at first and feeling how desperate it was for attention as it throbbed in his hand. He reached across for his cell and quickly dialled Jared, pressing the phone to his ear. 

“Hey,” Jared answered fairly quickly. Jensen grunted as he moved his hand over his length, immediately giving away what he was doing. 

“What’re you up to?” Jensen tried to ask casually. 

“Just got back from a run, why… What are you up to?” Jared replied with a knowing tone to his voice. 

“So you’re all sweaty, huh?” Jensen smirked, just picturing Jared in his running clothes, skin glistening with sweat, chest heaving. There had been more than one occasion when Jensen had pounced on him post run, sometimes he managed to hold off until Jared had made it into the shower first, though. 

“Yeah,” Jared’s voice dropped a little, more husky and seductive, and Jensen swallowed hard, tipping his head back as he started to pump a little harder and faster. “About to have a shower, get naked, wash my body,” he added. 

“You probably need help with those hard to reach places, don’t ya?” Jensen smirked. 

“I think I reach them just fine, I can prove it if you like?” Jared teased. 

“Fuck, Jar,” Jensen groaned. 

“How many fingers? One? Two? You like three don’t you? Like to see me stretched out ready for your cock, don’t you baby?” Jensen groaned louder, now fully fucking his hand, squeezing tightly to mimic Jared’s ass. 

“We both know three isn’t enough, baby. You’re still always so fucking tight for me, no matter how many times you let me split you in two,” Jensen retorted. 

“Fuck Jen, you’re making me hard now,” Jared complained. He gasped and Jensen heard the soft creak of their mattress. “I love when you stuff me full when I’m not quite ready, the burn feels so good. Love it when I can still feel you inside me everytime I sit down the next day,” he continued. Jensen thought about all the times he’d watched Jared wince or heard him whimper every time he sat down the day after a particularly good fucking, and the way his cock would throb at the very reminder just like it was doing in his hand right then. 

“God baby, keep talking I’m already so fucking close,” Jensen grunted. 

“Already? Fuck, wish I was there to ride you right now,” Jared groaned. Jensen could hear the familiar sounds of Jared working himself in his own hand and closed his eyes, imagining Jared riding him right that second, how tight he would feel, the way Jared’s thighs would wrap around his waist. Then he remembered back to the way Y/N clamped her own legs around him when he lowered her onto that car bonnet less than an hour before. He wondered if she’d be tight, if she’d be as warm and soft as Jared. He bucked his hips up harder and faster. 

“Oh shit, fuck,” Jensen gasped, feeling Y/N’s small hands pressing down on his chest as she dropped and lifted her hips onto him. They turn into Jared’s - large, heavy hands with calloused fingertips as his cock rubbed back and forth along Jensen’s torso. “That’s it, c’mon baby,” Jensen grunted, his mind flashing back to the scene as he wondered how good it would feel had he really been fucking her. 

“You’re close, huh baby?” Jared’s voice grounded him, startlingly so, and Jensen opened his eyes to look down his own body and see his cock fucking up into nothing more than his own hand. 

“Yeah,” Jensen swallowed hard, gasping for breath. 

“God I want you to cum in my ass so badly right now, love it when you fill me up, make me yours,” Jared told him. Jensen choked on a louder moan he was afraid any passers by might hear if he let out. “Baby, I want you to press your bite,” Jared instructed him. Jensen wasn’t one to follow orders from Jared usually, but he more than happily obliged, sliding his free hand down to his thigh, pressing on the bruise and making it throb. Jensen’s hiss of pain made Jared groan softly the other end of the phone. “You’re mine,” Jared told him. 

“Oh sweetheart,” Jensen gasped, scoffing as best as he could through the fog of his arousal. “You are _mine._ That tight little asshole is mine, that cock is mine, that entire body of yours is all mine,” he replied. Jared groaned loudly this time and Jensen’s hand moved from his bite to cradle his balls. 

“Yeah, Jen, I’m yours,” Jared confirmed with a choked cry of pleasure that had Jensen shooting his load all over his stomach. 

It was pretty late when Jensen got in, and Jared seemed to be asleep so he kept quiet. He made his way into the living room to see the TV had been left on _,_ and in the flickering illumination he saw gossip magazines sprawled out on the coffee table. Neither he nor Jared were the type of person to like or even pay any attention to those types of things, but as Jensen got closer he realised exactly why Jared had taken an interest in those in particular. The covers all had varying photos of Jensen and Y/N on them _somewhere_ on the page, and each glossy book contained at least one article about their budding romance. Jensen didn’t even bother reading any of them, he gathered them all together and took them to the kitchen trash. He sighed heavily as they dropped inside and then made his way up to bed. 

Usually at this hour he’d stay in the guest room, but Jared needed him tonight, Jensen could just tell. As he stripped off down to his boxers he pulled the covers back, seeing Jared laying on his front naked under them. Jensen climbed under and moved close to Jared, wrapping his arm around him as Jared moved slightly onto his side to slot into place in front of Jensen. Jensen’s fingers lightly brushed over the bruise he knew was on Jared’s torso and he kissed the back of his shoulder, whispering _I love you_ before letting sleep take him. 


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: jealous!Jared, angst, insecurity, fake relationship, talk of break up, tension, sexual tension

Jensen knew he had to bring up the magazines with Jared the next day, but he was up early again before him, getting ready to head across town for yet another interview. He yawned his way through a cup of coffee and his gaze kept drifting back to the trashcan he’d thrown the magazines into. He sighed, placing his mug down and walked over to it, reaching inside for the magazines that were thankfully still clean. He wiped them down with a towel and put them on the counter before rummaging through a drawer for a notepad and pen. His cell buzzed in his pocket to let him know the car to take him to the interview was outside, and he quickly scribbled a note to Jared.

_She’s no you. I love you. See you later. Xxx_

He placed the note on top of the magazines and finished his coffee before heading out towards the car. It was still dusky as he climbed in and yawned once more, and the driver played gentle soft rock the whole journey across town. Jensen was pleased to be greeted at the studio with another coffee, this one stronger than his first, and he sipped it generously as he was shown to wardrobe and given options for his outfit. He ended up telling the woman to pick herself, too tired to find it in him to care, and breakfast was being served in his dressing room when Y/N showed up. She was in sweatpants and a tank top, her hair a little messy from sleep and she was wearing absolutely no makeup, but Jensen still noted how beautiful she was. 

“Hey you, this time shouldn’t exist I swear,” she grumbled, leaning against the doorway to his room. She sipped on her own coffee.

“Yeah, you’re right there. At least we have the day off,” he pointed out, pouring some salt over his bacon.

  
  


“Well a few hours at least, our flight is at seven tonight,” she reminded him. 

“Right, yeah,” he nodded. He’d forgotten they were flying out to New York for the weekend for some press stuff, and whilst there they were doing a photoshoot for the movie. He at least had a few hours with Jared once he got back from this interview before he had to leave for the airport. Life was getting busy now filming was coming to an end and the release date for the movie was drawing closer, and Jensen couldn’t wait for filming for the show to start back up again. Once they were back in Vancouver, back in their apartment up there just the two of them, surrounded by the cast and crew that felt like family, things would be easier again. Y/N would have to visit, of course, but he didn’t mind her coming for weekend breaks for the sake of the public. 

  
  


“It’s gonna be weird not seeing you almost every day,” Y/N confessed, pushing herself off of the door frame and walking further into his room. 

“Yeah, it will, but we’ll still see each other regularly,” Jensen offered.

“Yeah, that’s one good thing about all this, I like spending time with you.” Jensen smiled at her statement as she dropped down onto the couch next to him and reached towards his plate for a piece of bacon. Jensen didn’t mind, not feeling particularly hungry, anyway.

“Me too, Y/N,” he agreed. 

“You okay? You seem a little tense,” she noted as she rested her head back on the back of the couch. 

“Yeah, I’m just still waking up,” Jensen half lied. Jensen wasn’t a morning person, he was grumpy until he’d had a certain amount of caffeine and he hated early starts, but that wasn’t the only thing making his mood sour. There were many things building up, but they all came back to Jared in the end. 

  
  


“Well, wake up quickly because we’ve got a relationship and movie to sell,” she joked, shoving his leg. Jensen forced a laugh and she clearly noticed its falseness, because she offered him a sympathetic smile. “C’mon, pretending to be banging me can’t be that upsetting,” she smirked. Jensen laughed for real this time and shook his head. “I’ll see you on set,” she smiled, clearly happy she’d made him laugh, before she got up and left his room, closing the door behind her. Maybe _pretending to be banging Y/N_ wasn’t the problem. Maybe the only problem was he kept thinking about what it would be like if it was real. 

  
  


He thought back to the way his mind had wandered the day before, during his phone call to Jared, and he felt a sense of guilt. He told Jared that he loved him, that Y/N would never replace him, but maybe the only reason he was so adamant on saying it was to convince himself too. He _did_ love Jared, he never wanted to give that up, Jensen could see the rest of his life with him, but he also couldn’t deny that being with Y/N was easy too. And yeah, he could love her, he could do all of this for real. She could give him a family and the security of _normal._ But was that really what Jensen wanted?

  
  


-

  
  


The interview had gone much like the one the few days before. They flirted, the interviewer was more than happy to ask questions about their personal life and once more the two of them gave see-through yet simple answers to fan the fire surrounding their relationship. Jensen let Y/N press against him and whisper, making it seem like instead of the sly digs she was making at the expense of the interviewer, Ken, she was whispering sweet nothings. Everyone lapped it up like candy and Jensen was surprised to realise just how gullible people could be. Anything for a story they could sell. He said goodbye to Y/N with a simple kiss on the lips and then headed in the car back across town and home again, where the house was empty when he returned. He tried Jared on his cell, but didn’t get through, so he made his way into the kitchen and noticed the magazines that he’d laid out were gone, along with the note. He rummaged in the fridge for a snack and when he came to bin the wrapper of his candy bar, he saw the magazines at the bottom. 

  
  


He couldn’t help but smile a little at the knowledge that Jared had also given up on those things. Hopefully Jensen’s note helped somewhat. He dug into his pocket again and dialled Jared once more and, this time, he answered. 

“Hey.”

“Hey baby, where are you?” Jensen asked.

“Oh I went into town, needed to get out of the house it was driving me crazy,” Jared admitted. 

“Okay, you fancy meeting up for lunch? Wanna spend some time with you before I leave for the weekend,” Jensen reminded him. 

“Yeah, sure, I fancy Italian,” Jared told him. 

“Italian it is, give me a half hour to shower and change and I’ll meet you somewhere.” 

  
  


-

  
  


Being out with Jared in public had always made Jensen uncomfortable, knowing he could never fully relax, but something about the safety net of his relationship with Y/N found him relaxing just a little more than usual. It shouldn’t be strange to the public that he and Jared spent time together, they were never shy about being incredibly close and sharing a very unique bond. People just didn’t know _how close._ Jensen couldn’t help look at Jared like he was the best thing on this planet, or laugh a little too hard at Jared’s jokes, or let his eyes linger for longer than is normal for someone to look at their friend, and those were all things that had gotten them to where they were now, exposed and desperately trying to remedy that with a fake girlfriend. But Y/N being around, and people being thrown off the scent, meant Jensen could not worry about that quite so much. Okay, so he couldn’t hold Jared’s hand or kiss him or anything, but Jensen had never been big on public displays of affection anyway, only indulging in them with Y/N for the sake of selling their relationship. 

  
  


Lunch was pleasant, but Jensen could tell Jared was caught in his mind a lot and the odd time Jared would look at him, Jensen would see he seemed guarded. 

“Are we going to talk about this or are we going to keep pretending you’re okay?” Jensen finally spoke up once dessert had been served. Jared clenched his jaw. 

“There’s nothing wrong,” he insisted.

“Sure that’s why you’re trying to bend the handle of the spoon and you can’t look at me for more than five seconds,” Jensen replied sarcastically. “It’s the magazines right, you get my note?” Jensen asked. He knew he was being blunt and a little insensitive, but he was sick of Jared building a wall and acting like everything was fine when, clearly, it wasn’t, and he wanted to get them on a better page before New York. Hell, he couldn’t even deny he needed some sort of sexual release at least, before three days away from Jared - that alone was making tensions run higher than normal. His dates with his right hand just weren’t cutting it. 

  
  


“We shouldn’t talk about this here,” Jared told him, glancing around. 

“Did you?” Jensen checked, ignoring Jared’s statement. 

“Yeah,” he replied quietly.

“Okay, then you gotta help me out here, Jar, what else can I say or do to prove it to you?” 

“Nothing,” Jared sighed. “It’s my issue not yours,” he admitted. Jensen bit the inside of his cheek and nodded his head. 

“I can’t help you or reassure you if you don’t tell me what you’re thinking. You made me promise you I’d tell you if this thing ever became real, well I need you to promise me you’ll tell me when this gets too much.” 

“And what can you do, Jensen? We’re two weeks into eighteen months. You can’t just break up with her, you can’t…” He glanced around the restaurant. “We can’t come out,” he whispered. 

  
  


Jensen huffed, knowing Jared had a point. “Well I can’t live like this either, the way you’re being-”  
“The way I’m being?” Jared shot back. 

“I didn’t mean…” Jensen grunted and stopped himself before this blew into a full argument. “This seems tough right now because of the movie, but once it’s released, and the press stuff dies down and we’re back to filming the show, it’ll be easier. Besides, this is all coming for you next, you realise that, right?” Jared barely glanced at Jensen before scowling. 

“Maybe we’re not cut out for this. It would be easier, right? To just call it a day, you can date Y/N for real, I’ll find a girlfriend.” Jensen swallowed hard. Recently he hadn’t been sure what he wanted, but he knew it wasn’t that. He couldn’t lose Jared, not now - not ever.

“Jar,” Jensen swallowed, but Jared stood up. 

“I need space, I’ll see you at home.” 

  
  


-

  
  


Jensen didn’t see Jared at home, and Jared didn’t answer any of Jensen’s calls. Jensen was locking up the house, letting the driver load the trunk with his luggage when he got through to Jared’s voicemail.   
“I’m urm - I’m on my way to the airport now. Listen, it _is_ worth it. We can get through anything. I don’t want to lose you I-” Jensen stopped abruptly when the driver reapproached him and grabbed another one of his bags. “Just promise me we’ll talk about this properly when I get home?” He sighed heavily and saw the driver waiting by the open back door of his car. Jensen’s cue to get in. Jensen didn’t want to leave, not when Jared was feeling the way he was, but he knew he had no choice. “I love you. Please call me back when you can.” He hung up and got in the car, making his way to the airport. At least he’d see Y/N and maybe she’d make him feel a little better.

Y/N was in a good mood, laughing and joking with him as they waited to board their flight and he’d noticed several people staring at them, even getting approached by a few and Y/N was more than happy to take photos for them. One girl had been brave enough to flat out ask them if they were dating and they both looked at each other flustered and avoided the question as tactfully as possible. It was one thing, to Jensen, to let them believe something, but another for him to lie to his fans’ faces. He wasn’t quite ready for that yet. The fan seemed to take their lack of answer as one regardless, as she smirked a little. The flight itself was uneventful but Jensen was glad for the peace and quiet where he reflected on his lunch with Jared earlier that day, even though it had felt like days ago now, and when he landed in New York, he received a text from Jared telling him to have a good time. It was something, at least. 

  
  


Jensen and Y/N checked into their hotel rooms, both luxury suites on the same floor, and Jensen was happy that Y/N wanted nothing more than to go to bed, much like he did. Jared called him as he was getting into bed, a pleasant shock that Jensen welcomed.

“Hey baby,” he answered softly. 

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier,” Jared sighed.

“Me too.” It was quiet for a moment and Jensen searched for something to break the tension. 

“I meant it, Jen. It would be easier,” Jared told him with a sigh.

“Yeah, but easy is boring.” 

Jared scoffed, “yeah.” But despite his agreement, it didn’t sound like Jared believed it. 

“We’re going to be okay, Jared. No matter what, I can never see me without you,” Jensen confessed. 

  
  


Jared sighed. “I can see you with Y/N too.” 

Jensen groaned quietly, he was already sick of this conversation. 

“Maybe you’re right, Jar. Maybe I could be happy with Y/N, but I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I’m already happy with you.” 

“Okay,” Jared reluctantly agreed. Jensen knew Jared didn’t believe him, but he was too tired to go around in circles right then. 

“Okay, I’m turning in. It’s a busy weekend. Goodnight, baby. I love you,” Jensen told him, softer this time. 

“Night Jen, you too.” Jared hung up and Jensen drew a deep breath. Maybe him being in New York was a good thing right then, they clearly needed the space.

  
  


-

  
  


Y/N had a way of making Jensen forget about all the weight on his shoulders as they laughed and joked about everything and anything. Jensen had tears in his eyes he was laughing so hard, his stomach burning and his cheeks aching. 

“Wait, tell me again what noise it made?” Y/N asked, holding her phone up. Jensen tried to compose himself to do the sound, but couldn’t. He’d been telling her about a particularly funny outtake from the show that resulted in Jared’s jeans tearing and the sound that he tried to replicate had them both in stitches. 

“I can’t,” Jensen gasped out, trying to breath through his laughter. She attempted the noise herself, but couldn’t quite do it and it only made them laugh harder. She lay her head on his shoulder and brought herself into the shot as she also smiled up at the camera. She stopped recording, and watching himself back laughing so hard, and hearing Y/N’s noise attempt for the second time only tickled them more. The story he’d told had nowhere near warranted this kind of reaction, but apparently it was hard to stop laughing. 

  
  


He watched as she typed up a little caption about how much fun she was having with Jensen and tagged him in the video.   
“You didn’t pass that with management,” Jensen noted, still laughing softly. 

“Oh please, if anything it supports our case,” she scoffed. “Oh god, I need to sort out my makeup, Hayley is gonna kill me,” Y/N laughed, wiping tears from her cheeks. A showrunner popped her head into their dressing room to let them know it was almost time for their interview and they both tried to compose themselves before they had to go out there and act once more. 

  
  


-

  
  


After the interview it was a mad rush to get from one studio to another as they made their way across the city to head towards their photoshoot and Jensen finally had time to check his phone, seeing a text from Jared. 

  
  


_**> How is it? X** _

  
  


Jensen sighed, he wanted to tell Jared how much fun he was having, how his cheeks were hurting from laughing and smiling too much, but Jared was fragile right now, his jealousy didn’t need that.

  
  


_**< Fine. Miss you. Xx** _

  
  


He didn’t wait long for Jared to reply again. 

  
  


_**> Looks like you’re having a great time. ** _

  
  


Jensen rolled his eyes at his screen and when Y/N checked he was okay he gave her a clipped _fine._ He offered her a soft smile next, as a silent form of an apology before replying to his boyfriend. Jensen knew Jared well enough to know he was upset with him. He’d no doubt seen Y/N’s video, that half their fanbase were now gushing over and the other half were complaining about.

  
  


_**< Want me to be miserable?** _

  
  


_**> No. I was just surprised to see you laughing so much when we’re going through shit. ** _

  
  


Jensen actually grunted out loud in frustration. It seemed like Jared was upset that he was happy, but he knew that was Jared’s insecurities lashing out. 

  
  


_**< It’s called acting xx** _

  
  


It was a lie, but Jensen didn’t have time for another argument or to remind his boyfriend that he was more than capable of having a good time with someone he wasn’t having sex with. He could understand Jared’s insecurities, because Jensen knew he’d be the same in his position, but it was really starting to wear him down, how little Jared believed him when he tried to convince him otherwise.

  
  


_**> I know when you’re acting or not. ** _

  
  


The very statement made Jensen’s stomach twist. Jared was right, he was more than capable of reading Jensen like a book. Jared would know before even Jensen did himself when something became real. What if Jared wasn’t insecure, what if he was seeing something that Jensen couldn’t yet? Jensen looked across at Y/N who smiled softly at him, and for the first time, he allowed himself to question it, _really_ question it without dismissing it immediately - was Jared right to be jealous of Y/N?


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: acting, sexual tension, angst, fluff, arguments, jealous!Jared, drunk!Jensen, drunk!Reader, mild cheating

Jensen and Y/N had been acting like a real couple for the majority of the day, selling their new relationship on and off screen and that didn’t end with the photoshoot. Thanks to the nature of the movie, the photoshoot saw Jensen and Y/N in near enough pornographic positions. The latest outfit change consisted of an open shirt, and slacks for Jensen and when Y/N stepped back out into the studio, Jensen’s mouth suddenly went dry. His eyes widened at the sight of her approaching him in lingerie and she seemed a little self conscious as she hugged herself. Jensen immediately grabbed the suit jacket he wasn’t even wearing and wrapped it over her shoulders when she got close enough. She smiled and held it closed. He’d seen her in similar thanks to the movie, hell he’d seen her practically naked besides the nipple covers and modesty patch, but something about the way her hair and makeup had been done and the outfit was just… Jensen couldn’t put his finger on it. She looked _stunning._ He cleared his throat as she thanked him for the cover up and he could only nod in reply. 

The photographer, Lee, got them both into position, Y/N pressed up against him, back arched slightly to expose her neck and Jensen was told to put his face into it. Lee then decided that he actually liked the jacket around Y/N and moved it a little to fall just off her shoulders, he positioned her hair and then her face and then stepped back. Jensen took his cue to press his face into her neck.

“Kiss it,” Lee commanded. Jensen did as he was told, pressing his lips against her pulse point and he heard a tiny whimper in her throat. Jensen’s grip on her waist tightened for a brief second as he got himself back under control and took some initiative to bite at her skin which Lee was very happy about. 

  
  


Usually Jensen found this sort of thing a little degrading and a whole lot demoralising, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying the excuse to be this close to Y/N. He wasn’t sure yet if it was helping his sexual frustration or making it worse. But when the shoot moved onto a bedroom scene with him kneeling behind her and groping at her body and then moving onto him laying over her and kissing down her stomach, Jensen had concluded it was definitely making him worse. Particularly when she was still wearing that black lacy lingerie that had him on the verge of getting hard with each passing second. He couldn’t decide whether he wanted to rip it off of her or never see her in anything else again. The music playing around the room was some sort of R&B that Jensen didn’t care for, but he was at least grateful that it was masking the odd groan and whimper that one of them would accidentally let slip, and Jensen was glad he wasn’t the only one this photoshoot was affecting. 

  
  


“It needs to be steamier,” Lee ordered. 

“Steamier? Dude, this isn’t porn,” Jensen laughed. 

“C’mon, I need that chemistry that I see when I’m not pointing my camera at you,” Lee urged. Jensen took a deep breath and bit his bottom lip, looking down at Y/N.   
“You okay with this?” Jensen checked. 

“It’s all acting, right?” she shrugged gently. Jensen nodded, not sure either of them believed that, and grabbed the back of Y/N’s neck, lifting her upper half off of the bed so he could kiss her passionately. Y/N kissed back immediately, her tongue slipping into his mouth and Jensen allowed it, moving his own against hers and then nipping at her bottom lip. Lee was shouting words of encouragement somewhere in the background, his voice more distant now. Jensen could feel himself get worked up and quickly pulled away from Y/N and climbed off of the bed. 

“You’ve got enough now, right?” Jensen checked. Lee seemed to get the hint that Jensen was done and nodded. “Great.” He charged towards the changing rooms and locked himself in the bathroom, panting heavily. His lips were tingling from the kiss, and when he looked down, the effect the photoshoot, the kiss, _Y/N_ had had on him was undeniable. 

“Thank god, I could do with this,” Y/N sighed happily as she took a long, slow sip of her wine. Jensen smiled warmly at her. She was in regular clothes now, but Jensen still had the image of her in black lace lingerie burned into his mind and he wondered how long it would take for that image to eventually fade. Their entire day had involved acting like a couple for either crew members or the cameras, or even the paparazzi that had caught them several times already. It appeared their work wasn’t done yet either as Jensen felt eyes still on them, hushed whispers and the odd photo being taken. He was used to it to some degree, but it seemed more so now the whole world was eager to know for themselves one way or another if he and Y/N were officially a couple or not. 

  
  


As time went on, it was easier to ignore the stares and the occasional camera as Jensen drank more and laughed harder with Y/N as they shared embarrassing stories from their teenage years. The alcohol was starting to get to Jensen’s head as they ordered another round and continued to talk. Jensen had almost forgotten they were in public, feeling so relaxed with Y/N was both a blessing and a curse. 

“Excuse me, I’m sorry but can my friend have a photo with you?” Jensen noticed some blonde stood at the edge of their booth and glanced over her shoulder to see a shy looking brunette with a deep crimson blush on her cheeks. 

“Yeah, sure thing,” Jensen smiled politely, as he moved to scoot out of the booth.

“Thank you so much, we’re so sorry to disturb your date night,” the blonde gushed, grabbing her cell phone. “You make such a cute couple by the way, I’m so excited for the movie.” 

  
  


Y/N giggled slightly, the drinks clearly getting to her head a little and the alcohol had numbed Jensen’s inhibitions enough to smile goofily at them and thank them for their compliment, not so much bothered he was leading them on to believe a lie for once. 

“The movie’s pretty raunchy,” he warned them. 

“Even better,” the blonde giggled, her friend nervously laughing along. Jensen wrapped his arm around the brunette and let the blonde take their photo.

“Can we have one with you too?” She asked Y/N, whose eyes widened a little. 

“Yeah of course,” she agreed with a smile, sliding out of the booth. The blonde loaded the front camera on her phone and the four of them huddled in for a group photo.

“Thank you so much, enjoy the rest of your date.” 

“Thanks,” Y/N beamed. The girls left and Jensen and Y/N resumed their places in the booth. 

“Hear that? We make _such a cute couple,_ ” Jensen smirked, mimicking the girl’s voice which made Y/N laugh. 

“Yeah we do,” she agreed, biting her bottom lip. 

  
  


Y/N pulled her eyes away from him and grabbed her drink, taking another sip and Jensen noticed that they were now sitting closer together than they had been, he could feel her body warmth soaking into him. There was a stray drop of wine on the bottom of Y/N’s lip and Jensen reached up with his thumb to wipe it away. It was almost automatic when Y/N leaned into his touch and her eyelashes fluttered open to look up at him. Her lips parted slightly and her eyes dropped to his mouth, and Jensen could see a camera flash out of the corner of his eye. This was what they wanted, they wanted some public kiss. No doubt that would be all over the internet tomorrow. Proof that he was dating Y/N. A kiss off of set, away from the movie. In some quiet hotel bar just like they were on some date. Management would be elated that Jensen took some initiative. But it was Y/N that closed the gap and kissed him, and he responded, flashes of light creeping through his eyelids as he kissed her as passionately as he would if he was Ryan and she were Lizzie. Just like their first kiss in the food hall, this kiss also made Jensen’s head spin. 

  
  


When he pulled away Y/N chased his lips for a second, before clearing her throat and rubbing her lips together. 

“Gotta give them what they want, right?” she asked quietly, grabbing her drink again.

“Yeah, sweetheart, guess we do,” Jensen agreed. He let the truth remain unspoken and then added, “wanna come back up to my room where we can relax away from the attention?”

“Are you sure?” she checked. 

“Sure, why not? We can have a few more drinks up there and at least then we don’t have to act,” he shrugged. Y/N bit her bottom lip before nodding her head in agreement. He was relieved they were getting away from all the attention. He couldn’t kiss her again like that. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he did. He wanted to do that again. He wanted to taste her again, feel her lips on his. He could feel arousal prick over his skin at the very thought like he was some damn teenager that couldn’t keep it in his pants once her tongue was in his mouth. 

  
  


At least in his room they could drop that act - she wouldn’t kiss him again and Jensen wouldn’t have to worry about how good it made him feel. 

  
  


Back in his room, Jensen raided the mini bar and eventually called for room service, ordering a bottle of wine and an entire bottle of whisky. Y/N made herself at home on his couch as he stripped out of his over shirt and took off his shoes. Once the drinks arrived he relaxed with Y/N and they continued drinking. It was like a mini celebration, the movie finished filming that coming week and they had worked so hard on it, they deserved this down time. They toasted to the movie and to their new _relationship,_ the alcohol allowing Jensen to laugh at the whole situation. 

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Y/N told him softly. 

“What? When?” he frowned, not even sure he could think of a single thing she’d done that day for her to apologise for. She bit her bottom lip for a moment. 

“That kiss in the bar, it was too much. We weren’t even meant to have our first official kiss until the premiere.”

  
  


“Fuck management, they wanted us together they got it. They can’t have it all,” Jensen grunted, feeling the anger bubble beneath the surface for a moment. “Anyway, it wasn’t too much, and if it was, I was also to blame,” he admitted. “I urm… I’ve been a bit _frustrated_ recently and if I’m honest the photoshoot just made that worse.” He felt his cheeks heat up. 

“Me too, honestly,” she confessed, looking down into her wine glass. “I urm, I’ve not really been, yanno… I didn’t want anyone to talk and ruin our arrangement.” 

“Sweetheart, you can’t not have sex for the next eighteen months,” Jensen laughed softly. 

She shrugged, “I’ll go to a sex shop and invest,” she smirked. Jensen laughed, but it was riddled with sadness at the thought that he was holding her back, that he was the reason she didn’t get to do any of that stuff. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.” 

“I’m always going to worry about you, Y/N, I care about you.” 

  
  


Y/N bit her lip as she looked up at him again and Jensen grunted slightly. 

“Everytime you bite your lip like that you make me wanna bite it for you,” he confessed - the alcohol must’ve really loosened his tongue. But he didn’t stop to think about just what he’d said for too long. His eyes were transfixed on the way she bit down and after his statement she only bit down harder. “Fuck.” 

“I should go,” she whispered, and Jensen watched her lips curl around the words because he couldn’t drag his eyes away from her mouth. He felt a pang of disappointment at her statement, but the rational side of him that he’d not quite drowned out with enough alcohol yet told him to let her go. Letting her go was safe. 

  
  


Letting her go was what he should do, but the message clearly didn’t reach the right part of his brain because he reached forward and pulled her in, kissing her passionately. Y/N gasped for air and for a second she didn’t respond, but as Jensen deepened the kiss she gave in, clinging to his tshirt and swiping her tongue along his bottom lip. Jensen moved to encourage her to lay back and leaned over her, grinding his lower half between her legs much like he did on set, but this time they were alone, this time he allowed himself to get hard and let a genuine moan escape his lips as Y/N whimpered and rolled her own hips up into him. Jensen’s hand started to wander, to nowhere they hadn’t been before but this time it was _him_ touching.   
“Fuck,” she whimpered against his lips as he started to kiss down her neck. “Fuck, Jensen.” Jensen stopped, the sound of his name hurtling him back to reality. He scrambled off of her and sat back on his heels. “Fuck,” she whispered, clamping a hand over her mouth. “I should go,” she once more told him. This time Jensen’s brain let him let her leave, and as soon as his hotel door closed behind her, Jensen reached for the whisky bottle and tried to drown out the taste of her on his tongue. 

Jared was right - Jared had always been right and as Jensen drank more and more whisky he let the fact sink in. All those moments Jensen had tried to reassure Jared that it wasn’t real between him and Y/N were nothing more than him trying to convince himself. All those times Jensen told Jared he had nothing to worry about was a lie. But Jensen did love Jared, more than anything and he couldn’t understand how he could even fall for someone else when he felt so strongly about Jared. But he did, and he couldn’t deny it any longer. He _really_ liked Y/N. He wanted it all to be real with her, but he couldn’t have that, not when he had Jared. He knew eventually he’d have to pick and the very thought weighed heavy on him, clinging to his skin like wet clothes. 

  
  


Jensen downed another drink and felt the room start to spin. The alcohol was numbing the pain, washing away the guilt he felt that he’d nearly cheated on Jared - and lord knows he’d wanted to. He’d wanted to never stop kissing her, strip her clothes and let his lips explore every inch of her, taste her skin, see the parts of her he was yet to see. He wanted to do it all - and that was the worst part. 

  
  


Jensen poured himself another measure of whisky and downed it in one, wiping his lips dry on the back of his hand, before drawing a deep breath and staggering towards the bed. He could barely even see he was so drunk. He’d not been this drunk in a _long_ time. He blindlessly fumbled into his pocket for his cell. He promised Jared, and he knew he owed him this much after what he’d done. He somehow found Jared’s number and pressed call, bringing the phone to his ear. It didn’t ring for long. 

  
  


“Hey baby, it’s late,” Jared noted immediately. Jensen closed his eyes, unable to handle the room spinning quite so violently when they were open, and sighed heavily. 

“Ye-yeah it’s late,” he slurred in agreement. 

“How much have you had to drink?”  
“‘Nuf.”  
“What’s up? This a booty call?” Jared laughed slightly. Jared’s laugh - Jensen liked that sound. He liked Jared’s laugh and he liked Y/N’s laugh, and the thought filled his ears with the sound of her soft giggle that was so far away from Jared’s deep, chesty laugh and they were nothing the same but Jensen liked them both. And he also liked - 

“S’real,” Jensen blurted out. It was silent - so silent Jensen squinted his eyes open and held his phone away from his ear to make sure he’d not been cut off. “Y’hear me?” Jensen grumbled. 

“Yeah, Jen,” Jared finally replied. 

“I like her, I - I -” Jensen huffed, words coming slow to him, and he could hear the slur in his own voice but he couldn’t correct it. He licked his lips, tasting the bitter after taste of whisky, and swallowed hard - the line was deadly silent once more. “I kissed her f’real and maybe more would’ve happened but… you n’I -” Jensen swallowed again and then sighed. “You told me to tell you, you said… and I want to… I think ‘bout it because I wanna fuck her - wanna…” but the weight of Jensen’s confession lifted from his chest and left him feeling sleepy, until he couldn’t concentrate on anything but drifting into unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, mentions of cheating, hangover, guilt, male masturbation, blowjob, m/m, gay sex, anal

Jensen’s head throbbed when he woke up the next morning, face down on the bed, on top of the covers. He lifted his head and wiped the spit from the corner of his mouth, hissing at the pain slicing behind his eyes from the light bleeding through the gap in the curtains. He clutched at his forehead and sat up. The room was still spinning and he was fairly sure he was still drunk. At least, he wasn't sober yet. He squeezed his eyes open and closed repeatedly as he tried to get used to the light, and fumbled blindly around the bed for his cell to check the time. His fingers found it eventually, but as he came to illuminate the screen he realised it was dead. His mouth was ridiculously dry as he scrambled off the bed and found his charger to plug his phone into and he headed into the bathroom, stripping last night's clothes and turning on the shower. As the water warmed up he tried to remember the night before. He remembered being at the bar with Y/N, those girls asking for photos and then the paps getting a few of the two of them sitting together. He then remembered the kiss. How could he forget that kiss? It was far more passionate than he'd have ever shared with someone in public, let alone someone that wasn't his partner, but clearly the alcohol had lowered that inhibition, and he remembered trying to put on a show for the cameras, giving them what they so desperately wanted.

He frowned a little when he thought about how those very photos were probably already online. Jared was going to see them and he wasn't going to be happy. Jensen sighed as he stepped into the shower, the warm water soaking into his skin as he suddenly remembered inviting Y/N back to his room for more drinks. He remembered her sitting on his couch, ordering the bottles of wine and whisky and chatting then -

“Fuck.” The word left his lips automatically. He kissed Y/N for a second time. Just as passionately – more so it seemed, as he remembered laying over her and grinding down into her. And sure, it wasn't anything they hadn't done before, but this time it wasn't for the cameras, it wasn't even for show. This time it was real. There was no one else there but the two of them. He had no reason to kiss her other than he'd wanted to, and the very realisation that he'd _wanted to kiss Y/N_ made the guilt swim amongst the nausea from his hangover.

Jensen held his hands over his face and then wiped the water away. He had to tell Jared. He had to come clean. Jensen promised Jared he'd tell him if it ever became real, if Jensen ever actually felt something for Y/N, and he couldn't deny it any longer. He did. Even sober he did. And he didn't want to, he wanted it to be fake, he wanted nothing more – but he couldn't help it. If he could just stop it, turn it off, he would. He never wanted to do that to Jared. But how could he even let that happen? Until now he'd been so sure Jared was it for him. But if he was, Jensen wouldn't have fallen for Y/N, surely? It was all so messy, his mind getting loud. He didn't want to hurt Jared, but lying to him would only make it worse. Jared was insecure enough, jealous enough of Y/N - if he found out about this some other way, or later down the line, it would only hurt him more.

But as Jensen scrambled around his fuzzy brain for some kind of speech, some way to break the news gently, he suddenly remembered calling Jared – at least, he _thinks_ he did. He remembered his confession, telling Jared he wanted to fuck Y/N. But he couldn't remember Jared's response, the only thing he could remember in Jared's voice was _yeah, Jen._ And surely, if Jensen had confessed like he thought he had, Jared would have more to say than that? He'd be upset, he'd be yelling and hurling abuse down the line and Jensen was sure to remember _that,_ right?

He stepped out of the shower feeling no more refreshed and a whole lot more confused as he dried off and dressed in clean clothes. His phone had finally charged a little and he saw it was midday. There was a text from Jared waiting for him and Jensen swallowed hard opening it.

**_> How's that head? Xxx_ **

Jensen smiled a little, Jared was in a good mood. His smile dropped when he realised that that meant Jared didn't know. Jensen must've dreamed or imagined his confession. He needed to go home, he needed to be with Jared. The thought of waiting around all day, particularly with Y/N didn't sit right with him. He needed to be with his boyfriend and he needed to fix this. His original flight was at nine that night, but he could get an earlier one. He _would_ get an earlier one.

**_< Sore. Never drinking again. I'm coming home early. Xxx_ **

Jensen called Ashley next, arranging with her to get him an earlier flight. She wasn't happy about the fact, but Jensen faked feeling unwell and she reluctantly got him a flight that was in two hours time. Jensen thanked her and hung up, packing his stuff to get ready to head straight to the airport. He'd feel better once he knew he was on his way home to Jared, he was sure of it, even if that meant feeling sick with anxiety as he came up with some way to tell Jared the truth; that he'd kissed Y/N and that he had feelings for her. Sure, he could blame the alcohol for the kiss, but he couldn't blame the way he still felt about Y/N and he knew it. He knew that was going to be hard for Jared to digest. Maybe Jared wouldn't accept it at all. Maybe this was enough to get him to walk away. For a split second Jensen thought about how that would mean he could be with Y/N properly, but in the next second he felt a sadness so strong it made him feel sick as it washed over him. The idea of Jared ever leaving him filled him with a paralysing type of dread. He couldn't – _wouldn't_ – let that happen.

-

Jensen hadn't even considered Y/N, at least not how she felt about this whole thing, until he bumped into her in the hotel lobby, his luggage getting wheeled out by a valet to the car taking him to the airport.

“You're leaving? I thought the flight was at nine?” she asked, clearly confused. There was a tension between them that Jensen hadn't felt before. He didn't like it, but right then he preferred it to the comfortable security that had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

“I'm – I'm going home early,” he explained awkwardly. Y/N bit her bottom lip and quickly stopped when she looked at him. Jensen suddenly remembered her biting her bottom lip the night before, how he'd told her he wanted to bite it himself. She'd clearly remembered it too, and he groaned internally.

“I'm so sorry, Jen, for last night,” she whispered, tears glazing over her eyes.

“No, it's not your fault. It was mine,” he reassured her. She shook her head and went to argue, but Jensen gripped the top of her arm. “Y/N, please,” he begged. She swallowed and nodded, glancing around them.

“Have a safe flight.” He smiled slightly at her and squeezed her arm, before turning and heading towards the car.

-

Arriving home had never felt so bittersweet to Jensen as he stood at his front door. He was going to go inside, he just needed a moment. He wanted so desperately to see Jared, but he knew as soon as he saw him they'd need to talk. He couldn't put this off. He drew a deep breath and pushed down on the door handle, stepping inside to be met with quiet. He knew Jared would be home, as he'd let him know his landing time, unless Jared didn't want to see him. Maybe Jensen _had_ confessed and Jared couldn't face him yet. Maybe Jared found it easier to fake it on text, but couldn't bring himself to fake it in person. So many _maybes_ and speculations span around in Jensen's mind as he left his bags at the front door and walked through the house.

“Jar? I'm home!” he called out. “Baby?” he called out again, heading up the stairs towards the bedroom. It was a little after seven, Jensen wasn't expecting Jared to be in bed as such, but it was the first place he thought to look that wasn't downstairs.

There was a light illuminating under the doorway to their bedroom, so Jensen braced himself for Jared to be inside, and as he edged the door open he saw him. Jensen wasn't sure what he was expecting to find, but it wasn't that. Jared was sat back in the centre of the bed, completely naked, his hand wrapped around his hard length and he was pumping slowly. His half lidded hazel eyes lifted to see Jensen walking in, and a lazy smile crept over his lips.

“Hey baby,” he panted a little and Jensen swallowed hard as he stepped closer. The sexual frustration he'd been feeling that had driven him so close to breaking point yesterday was suddenly back in waves, washing over his entire body. Is that all that was happening here? Was he misplacing his sexual frustration as feelings for Y/N? Jensen couldn't figure out what he felt for who any more, but he did know he was growing hard in his jeans, and he was desperate to be on that bed with Jared.

“Hey,” Jensen finally replied cautiously as he stepped further into the room.

“Missed you,” Jared told him breathlessly. Words weren't forming in Jensen's mind as it raced to catch up with him and his ever-changing feelings. “You miss me?” Jared prompted. Jensen swallowed hard. “Miss this?” Jared added, referring to his erection in his fist.

“Yeah.” Jensen surprised himself with the groan that escaped his lips, and started to remove his clothes slowly, still transfixed, watching Jared pleasuring himself.

“What're you waiting for, then?” Jared smirked. Jensen undressed quicker, kicking his shoes off and stepping out of his jeans and boxers promptly, as he headed over to the bed and eagerly climbed on, crawling closer to the younger man's side. Jared sat up to meet Jensen's lips in a bruising kiss as Jensen reached down to take over working his fist over Jared's rock hard length. Jared groaned into the kiss and wrapped his own hand around Jensen, tugging hard and fast from the get go.

“Fuck,” Jensen grumbled against Jared's lips, feeling Jared shift his weight slightly and Jensen pulled back, chest heaving as Jared's hand gripped the back of his neck and he encouraged Jensen's face towards his crotch. Jensen complied, taking Jared in his mouth immediately and sucking him down eagerly. Jared's groans grew deeper and louder as he slid a little further down the bed and squeezed the back of Jensen's neck harder. Jensen worked his mouth faster, bobbing his head up and down, swirling his tongue around the length and sucking at the tip every time his lips wrapped around it. Jared started to buck his hips upwards, meeting Jensen's mouth and Jensen reached to fondle Jared's balls gently. Jared's grip around Jensen's dick tightened and he began building a faster rhythm, making Jensen moan around him.

“Fuck, I love that mouth, it's so good,” Jared gasped out.

Jensen let go of Jared's balls and slipped his hand lower, pleasantly surprised to feel that Jared was already slick with lube and worked open for him. Jensen pulled back, Jared's cock spit sodden and slapping against his stomach.

“Been waiting on me, huh?” Jensen smirked, dipping two fingers into Jared's awaiting hole. Jared groaned, tightening around Jensen's digits for a second before relaxing again.

“All day, baby,” he panted.

“So fucking desperate, sweetheart,” Jensen tsked, gripping Jared's thigh and prompting him to move onto his hands and knees. Jared took the hint, getting into position, and Jensen moved to behind him, gripping Jared's hip with one hand and his own cock with the other. He tapped the tip of his cock against Jared's puckered hole and smirked when Jared bucked his hips back. Reaching up to his mouth, Jensen spat onto his fingers and rubbed the saliva around the tip of his cock before nestling it against Jared.

He pushed forward slowly, despite Jared's best efforts he was still tight; he always was, and Jensen loved the feeling of barely being able to fit at first. The way Jared squeezed around him like that always made his cock twitch. Jensen reached around, wrapping his hand around Jared's rock hard cock and jerking it softly as he felt Jared relax just enough that Jensen could get more of his length inside and he stopped once he was fully seated and stayed perfectly still, allowing Jared to fully adjust. But Jared was clearly eager as he reached up to grip the headboard and started to rock his own hips back against Jensen, fucking himself as he started to moan softly.

“Jesus-” Jensen gasped, his fingers digging into Jared's hips as he watched Jared fuck himself on his cock. “Fuck, Jar careful,” Jensen warned, pulling back a little. He was pent up, and the way Jared was so freaking eager was making his mind spin. Jared hadn't been this desperate for him in a _long time._

“Need you, Jen, fuck me please,” Jared choked out. Jensen pulled back so only his tip was nestled inside before driving his hips forward, hard and fast once more, his body slamming against Jared and making him let out a strangled moan. Jared started to rock backwards again to meet Jensen's thrusts, and it didn't take long for Jensen to arrive at that edge. He'd needed this far more than he'd even realised. And not just the sex, not just the physical release, but the emotional connection to Jared too. He'd needed this recharge with him. Jensen started to work his hand harder and faster over Jared's cock, feeling the way Jared had started to clench and relax around him over and over again. Jensen folded himself over Jared, biting the back of his shoulder and burying his face into the crook of his neck.

“Oh shit, Jen, fuck d-don't -” Jared whined and he reached back to grip Jensen's hip, keeping him fully seated inside as Jensen felt the hot ropes of cum splatter over his hand and the bedsheets beneath them.

As Jared slowly loosened his grip, Jensen started to thrust again, using Jared's pulsing hole to his advantage as he chased his own release. He came just as hard, spluttering and panting into the back of Jared's neck before he slowly pulled out and rolled away. His lungs were on fire as he looked across at Jared who had moved just out of the mess they'd made and had laid down flat on his stomach beside him.

“Well that was quite the welcome home,” Jensen smirked, still out of breath. Jared gave a half tired smile and lazily reached his arm out to place it on Jensen's stomach. “Are you okay?” Jensen checked.

“Yeah, I'm good,” Jared replied with another dazed smile.

Jensen smiled back for a second and as Jared closed his eyes, the reality of their situation came back to him. He needed to come clean.

“Jar? Listen, yesterday-”

“I'm laying in my own cum - I think I need to shower,” Jared suddenly announced, getting up. “You coming?” he asked, already heading for the bathroom. Jensen sighed heavily and watched him leave. Maybe it could wait until morning, they had just had sex, now wasn't the time to ruin their reunion. Tomorrow, when Jensen had had a full night's sleep to recover from his weekend away, when they hadn't just fucked and when both of them were rested, he'd tell Jared everything.

“Yeah, I'll be right in,” Jensen called back as he heard the spray of the shower and Jared humming some tune under his breath. Jared sounded happy, something Jensen hadn't heard in months. Breaking Jared's heart could wait until morning. 


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, talk of cheating, talk of threesome

When Jensen woke up the next morning he didn't feel much better like he'd hoped. He was feeling more awake, his body ached a little less and that tension he'd been feeling a lot of lately was gone, but it had been replaced with a thick sense of anxiety weighing down on him, knowing what he was about to tell Jared and knowing what that was going to do. He still couldn't figure out if Jared had heard his drunken confession whilst he was in New York. Jensen was sure if he had, he wouldn't have greeted him home the way he had, right? There was only one way to find out, Jensen supposed. He rolled over onto his back and sighed heavily, realising Jared was in fact still in bed next to him, sat up and reading.

“Oh hey,” Jensen grumbled, scrambling to sit up a little more.

“Morning baby, sleep well?” Jared asked, not taking his eyes off of his book.

“Yeah,” Jensen replied, rubbing at his neck to work out the tension from sleep. “You're normally up and about by now,” Jensen noted.

“Felt like being lazy today,” Jared replied, turning the page of his book before reaching across for Jensen's hand and linking his fingers with his own.

Jensen looked across at Jared, watching his hazel eyes scan over the pages of his book as he mindlessly played with Jensen's fingers.

“How was New York?” he asked, his voice somewhat distant.

“Busy, tiring... Listen, Jared about New York...” Jensen started, swallowing hard.

“We should go to New York more often. I like it there. Fancy a weekend trip sometime?” he asked, interrupting Jensen. Jensen couldn't answer, in fact, he couldn't say anything but what he needed to.

“We had a photo shoot and it was, urm, fairly, urm, raunchy,” Jensen started, stammering on his words.

“Not surprising given the movie,” Jared commented, his eyes continuing to scan his book, but Jensen realised he'd not turned the page again in a while and wondered how much Jared was actually _reading_ and how much Jared was actually just avoiding looking at him.

“Yeah,” Jensen replied weakly.

  
  


Jensen took a moment to gather his thoughts before he continued.

“Afterwards, me and Y/N had some drinks at the hotel bar,” Jensen went on.

“I saw, looks like you were hounded out there,” Jared replied nonchalantly.

“Ye-yeah.” Jensen swallowed hard once more and cleared his throat. “So I urm, invited Y/N back to my room so we could be out of the public eye.” A light sweat had broken out over his body, his confession was on the tip of his tongue. At least, the confession that was the lesser of the two evils when it came to what he was about to tell Jared. Jensen figured Jared might take the news about the private kiss okay. They were drunk and it was nothing they hadn't done before. He might be upset at first, but he'd get over it. But Jensen's second, most important confession was a whole new story. That one could be the thing that broke them. “We were fairly drunk and urm-”

  
  


“Talking of inviting Y/N places, I think we should have her over for dinner and some drinks. I'd like to get to know her,” Jared interrupted once more. Jared's sudden keenness to get closer to Y/N only made Jensen feel more sick. Jared was really trying, it seemed, to make the best of their situation. “I was thinking about it and given how close we are, even in the public, it would seem weird if I didn't know and get on with my best friend's girlfriend, right? Anyway, she seems nice, I think we'd get on well and if we're gonna be seeing more of her.” Jared closed his book and placed it on his night stand. “It was just an idea. We could invite her over on Tuesday, you're not working the Wednesday so if she isn't either...” Jensen's mind was spinning at the speed Jared was talking. His confession that had been on the tip of his tongue was dying, the taste fading to nothing because he was speechless. “You can ask her, right?” Jared offered him a smile that Jensen was too confused to return, and then headed into the bathroom.

  
  


Jensen stared at the closed bathroom door for several moments as he tried to figure out what had just happened. He was _so close_ to telling Jared everything, he'd built up the courage, he'd had the right words in his head, he'd just needed to spit them out. But they were gone now. He felt frustrated as he got out of bed himself. Now he was supposed to invite Y/N over for dinner and drinks? Watch Jared and her get to know each other, knowing how he felt about her and how much that would destroy Jared? This was too much, he couldn't do it. He couldn't live like this. He marched over to the bathroom with what little surge of confidence he'd felt and opened the door, seeing Jared through the mist of the hot shower as he stood just outside it naked.

“I kissed her Jared, like for real kissed her and-” Jensen's sentence was cut short when he realised that Jared's face hadn't changed. He didn't look angry or upset, hell he didn't even look confused.

“Okay,” Jared nodded.

“Okay?” Jensen pressed, not understanding this reaction one bit. Jared approached him and reached up to grip the side of Jensen's neck.

“We don't have to talk about it,” he offered. But Jensen _did_ want to talk about it. He felt like shit about it. He wanted Jared to yell at him, tell him how much it hurt. Maybe even punch him, maybe that would knock some sense into him. Jensen was getting increasingly frustrated by Jared's relaxed response. _Why?_ Why didn't Jared want to at the very least scream at him?

  
  


Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen, which was the last thing Jensen had been expecting. He tried to pull away but Jared wouldn't let him, holding him there and keeping his lips pressed firmly to his. Jensen felt Jared's tongue lick at his bottom lip as his fingers flexed tighter around the back of Jensen's neck as if to prompt him. And it was like all the anger, all the confusion and every reason for it melted away as Jensen began to kiss back. At least for now, it was all forgotten again.

  
  


Jensen had spent the rest of the day in a haze and come the next morning, he was up early to get to set before Jared had even woke up. He had been growing increasingly frustrated that every time he had built up enough courage to come clean, Jared would change the subject or interrupt him, if Jensen didn't know any better, he'd think Jared was doing it on purpose. Jared had flat out told Jensen he didn't want to talk about the kiss and Jensen couldn't exactly force him to. Maybe he just needed time to himself to deal with it. But Jared didn't seem the least bit upset with Jensen about it. If anything, he was more affectionate than usual. If Jensen wasn't already completely in his head and confused about how he felt about Y/N, maybe he'd have been able to figure out what was going on in Jared's own mind.

  
  


It had made him distant on set that morning, and he didn't even feel like faking their relationship for the crew that day. Not one to let things go unresolved, Y/N eventually asked him if he was okay.

“Do we need to take a break?” she asked after the fifth out take for what was supposed to be an easy scene.

“Ye-yeah, give me five,” Jensen grumbled, stepping the other side of the camera and heading over to his chair for his water bottle. He took long gulps and noticed Y/N approach him out the corner of his eye.

“It wasn't your fault, you know that right?” she pressed. He sighed and didn't look at her as he screwed the cap back on his water.

“I kissed you, Y/N,” he pointed out, “I'm the one that's in a relationship,” he added a lot quieter.

“I let you kiss me, I kissed you back. What I should've done is pulled away, told you you were too drunk and reminded you that you had a boyfriend,” she muttered just as quietly. “But because I like you, I took advantage, and I'm sorry.” Jensen shook his head, hardly believing that Y/N was trying to take the brunt of the blame.

  
  


“You think because you like me that it's your fault?” he pressed, finally looking at her.

“Yeah,” she shrugged.

“Well I like you too, so if that's a reason then I'm to blame,” Jensen told her adamantly, not quite realising just what he'd confessed, but the confession hadn't ended there, they were spilling out like word vomit he couldn't stop. All the words he desperately wanted to tell Jared. “And I don't just mean I like you and maybe if I was single I'd date you... I mean – I mean I'm falling for you. I kissed you because I'm falling for you.” Y/N's mouth fell open but then closed again. She continued to stare at him and Jensen's heart thudded in his chest. “This is so fucked up,” he complained, dropping his water back to his chair. He couldn't just stand there in awkward silence whilst Y/N stared at him like that. He turned around and headed in the direction of his trailer. He could hear footsteps behind him and didn't have to turn around to know Y/N was following him.

“Jensen, wait... I don't understand. What about-”

“Jared?” Jensen interrupted, his voice more clipped than he meant it. She just looked at him, waiting for his reply. “I don't – I don't know, Y/N. I don't know anything. I love Jared more than anything... I do. But tell me you don't feel this.” He referred between them with his hand, and Y/N bit her bottom lip anxiously. “Don't do that,” he grunted. All he could think about whenever she did that was kissing her, and that was the last thing he needed to think about. She released her bottom lip and sighed.

  
  


“It's possible to love more than one person, Jensen,” she offered weakly.

“I don't think Jared would agree,” Jensen grunted. “How would he ever understand this? I don't even understand it. He's already insecure, he's already jealous of you... this would kill him. But I promised him I'd tell him if my feelings for you were real and I -” Jensen grunted, frustrated that he couldn't put into words everything that was spinning around in his head. “I've tried to tell him but he won't fucking let me. And when I told him about that kiss he just – he didn't care!” Jensen was letting his anger out, practically shouting at Y/N now even though none of this was really her fault, and he hoped she knew that. She couldn't help that she'd been caught up in all this, she couldn't help how Jensen felt about her. She'd always been so respectful of his relationship with Jared, despite the fact she clearly liked him. She didn't deserve any of this. “Why doesn't he care that I kissed you?”

“I don't know,” Y/N sighed. “Maybe – maybe he just is okay with it. Maybe he's okay with the physical stuff, you know because I'm a girl and he's not... I don't know, Jensen, I'm not him. But you know...” she stopped and cleared her throat, she looked a little embarrassed as she shuffled her feet. “If we were actually real I wouldn't have a problem with you and Jared doing that stuff. Maybe he feels the same.”

  
  


Jensen shook his head. No, Jared was jealous of Y/N, he'd never be okay with anything of the sort. But the more that Jensen thought about Y/N's suggestion he couldn't deny that it might make sense. Jared didn't care about the kiss, maybe that was why. But why didn't he just tell him that? Rather than just avoid talking about it altogether? Jensen drew a deep breath, there were so many ifs and buts and maybes and he couldn't do this for much longer.

“Jared isn't like that,” Jensen argued. “I mean we used to – we used to have threesomes and stuff but since we've been a couple... I don't know. I just don't,” Jensen concluded. Y/N reached out and gently squeezed his arm.

“Maybe he just needs time, Jensen. He'll talk to you when he's ready.”

  
  


“And what do I do in the meantime? How do I deal with these feelings?” It was unfair of Jensen to even ask Y/N that - he knew it was, but he didn't know what else to do. He needed someone else to tell him.

“Figure out what you want from me and from Jared and then tell us.” Jensen swallowed hard, how was he supposed to do that? His head was so loud. He was going to hurt someone, he knew he was. And that someone was probably Jared or Y/N or both. “And don't think about what we want, just about what you want,” Y/N added, as if she could read his thoughts. She squeezed his arm and let go. Jensen wanted to argue that he couldn't be that selfish, he'd been selfish enough, but before he could open his mouth he could hear someone approaching. He was shocked to see Jared and swallowed hard, trying to bite back the tears that were pressing at the back of his eyes.

“There you are,” Jared smiled widely. “Hey, Y/N, how are you?” he asked.

“Hey Jared, I'm fine. You?” she replied politely.

“What are you doing here?” Jensen pressed, confused.

“Missed you,” Jared told him, reaching out and gripping the back of Jensen's neck in an attempt to seem _friendly,_ but all Jensen could think about was the day before when Jared had gripped his neck like that and guided his face down to his crotch.

  
  


“I'm gonna head back to set, come back when you're ready,” Y/N smiled softly at Jensen.

“Oh, Y/N, wait. Me and Jen were talking and we think it would be good if I got to know you, so how about dinner and drinks at ours tonight?” Jared asked. Jensen swallowed hard, not sure that was a good idea. Y/N's eyes instantly sought Jensen and his feelings on the matter out before looking back at Jared.

“Oh, tonight? I don't know I'm urm -” she was clearly trying to find an alibi.

“C'mon, it'll be fun,” Jared prompted, flashing her a wink. Jensen's brow furrowed slightly at the way Jared was acting, but didn't comment on it.

“Okay, sure,” she agreed. She forced a smile to her lips and took one last look at Jensen before turning around and heading back to set.

“What was that?” Jensen asked.

“We talked about it, baby, I wanna get to know her,” Jared told him casually.

“I meant the wink,” Jensen added.

Jared scoffed, “oh, so you're allowed to kiss her, but I'm not even allowed to flirt a little?”

  
  


Jensen didn't have a response, his mind spinning again. All this was too much. He needed to tell Jared. He needed to.

“It's not a good idea, Jar,” Jensen huffed.

“Sure it is,” Jared dismissed. Jensen clenched his jaw.

“What's going on with you at the moment, you're... different,” Jensen noted.

“Am I? Maybe I'm just using this whole situation to my advantage,” Jared offered with a nonchalant shrug.

“How's that?” Jensen prodded harder. Jared looked at Jensen and gave him some cocky grin that Dean would be proud of, and it threw Jensen off completely. It was nothing like Jared and that should've been the first clue that Jared was acting, but Jensen was too caught up in his frustration to really let that fact sink in.

“She's a good looking girl, it's been a while since either of us... had that.”

“Are you serious?” Jensen grunted, for some reason what Jared was implying irritated him. Jensen wasn't sure if it was Jared's blasé attitude or jealousy that had annoyed him, and he wasn't really sure if he wanted to figure it out either.

  
  


“C'mon we used to do it before, it was fun. And she knows about us so, you know, we wouldn't have to hold back this time.”

“Jared, no. I'm not using Y/N like that,” Jensen snapped, shaking his head, “anyway, you can't just decide that we're having a threesome! That is meant to be a decision we arrive at as a couple.”

“We never did before,” Jared pointed out.

“We were never a couple before!”

“Oh c'mon Jen, she's interested, at least - she's interested in you. And it doesn't have to mean anything, just a bit of fun, right?”

“Maybe it would mean something, Jared, ever thought about that?” Jensen hissed. Jared remained quiet and there were no emotions flashing over his face, so Jensen couldn't read his feelings on the comment. Why was Jared so fucking closed off? The very thought made Jensen's fists tighten at his sides. “I gotta go. I'll see you at home, looks like you're cooking dinner.” He turned around before Jared could reply even if he wanted to, and stormed back to set.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: mentions of threesomes, angst, talk of polyamory

Jared had made his intentions about how he wanted their night to go very clear on set that day and since then, Jensen hadn't thought about much else. Of course the idea would've been hot to him, what wasn't there to like about having the two people he liked the most in one place to be with both of them like that together? But Jensen wasn't allowing himself to think about that, all he could feel was a thick syrupy taste of dread in the back of his throat, because Jared was pushing for this, but he had no idea what he was asking of Jensen. What if being with Y/N like that only made his feelings stronger? Jared had no idea – or maybe he did. Maybe he was just giving Jensen what he wanted. Maybe Jensen was more transparent than he thought, maybe Jared just knew him as well as he'd always claimed he did. Maybe Jensen had told Jared everything he needed to know without words. And then Jensen felt a frustration roll over him as he considered maybe he'd lost his touch, maybe he didn't know Jared all that well any more, because he couldn't work this out.

“I'm sorry I said yes,” Y/N sighed as they prepared to leave the set and head back to Jensen's house. 

“What? Oh no, don't be. It'll be nice. Jared had a point that it would be good for you to get to know each other,” Jensen explained. Y/N nodded softly. Jensen considered for a moment what Y/N would make of Jared's ridiculous idea of how the night was going to go. But then he remembered all the jokes and comments she'd made about being their third wheel, talking about how hot it was whenever she'd accidentally seen him and Jared together. Maybe she'd be up for it – but Jensen knew that she also had feelings for him, and that it would be unfair of them to use that to their advantage. He could never lead Y/N on. 

“As long as you're sure, I don't want to come between you and Jared at all or cause any arguments,” she explained.

“Don't you worry about that, sweetheart,” Jensen told her sincerely, offering her a genuine smile. 

“Okay,” she agreed with a shy smile. He had to warn her what she was walking into. 

“You can urm – ignore Jared tonight. I mean I have a feeling he's got it in his head that something's going to happen between the three of us,” Jensen admitted with a blush burning his cheeks. 

“Oh,” she replied, her eyes a little wider and she bit back a chuckle. 

  
  


“I'm sorry, I don't know what he's thinking,” Jensen sighed. “We used to do that sort of thing before but... I don't know, I'm sorry,” Jensen apologised again, laughing softly. 

“It's fine, Jensen,” she reassured him. “I'm glad for the heads up. I wouldn't have said no if I'd have thought you wanted it,” she confessed. 

“You wouldn't?” Jensen pressed, the shock evident in his voice. 

“How many times do I have to offer to be your third wheel, Jensen?” she smirked. Jensen laughed. 

“I just figured with, you know... all the feelings and that,” he tried to brush it off, not wanting to put another damper on the mood that had started lifting.

“Jensen I know you love Jared, I know that he comes before anything for you,” she told him. “I'm okay with that, I never would've agreed to do any of this if I thought I couldn't keep a check on my feelings for you.” Jensen could see the sincerity on her face and nodded. 

“You're right. I'm sorry, I keep making assumptions and decisions for you.” 

  
  


“How do you feel about the idea?” Y/N finally asked as they climbed into the car and set off towards Jensen's house. 

“Urm,” Jensen drew a deep breath. “The idea is hot, but I'd be worried that it would make things worse,” he admitted truthfully. Y/N nodded understandably. 

“Listen, I'll follow your lead,” she told him simply, offering him a smile. It was ridiculous to even think about it. It couldn't happen. 

“Are you sure?" Jensen checked. Y/N gave him an unimpressed look, like she was sick of him pressing her about this. 

“Dude, you're both hot as fuck, and between those scenes we've been shooting and how long it's been... yeah,” she scoffed. Jensen laughed softly and shook his head. “It can just be some fun. It doesn't have to mean anything,” she shrugged. He remembered Jared saying similar, but Jensen didn't repeat his reply this time. Maybe they were both right, maybe it could just be some fun. 

-

Dinner had been better than Jensen thought it would be. Jared wasn't a bad cook, and to Jensen's relief, Y/N and Jared did actually get on really well. They were laughing and sharing stories about bad auditions and the wine kept getting poured. Jensen was actually the one feeling a bit like the third wheel as they sat around the dinner table. But he didn't mind. He liked having them both there as he watched them talk and drink and bond. He thought Jared might've changed his mind about the stupid threesome idea because he wasn't being overly flirtatious or forward with Y/N at dinner, but once they moved to sit in the living room, and the drinks moved onto beers and whiskies, the whole dynamic seemed to change. Y/N was comfortable in their home, which Jensen liked seeing as he watched her kick off her shoes and bring her feet up onto the couch, bending her knees underneath her and propping her one elbow onto the back of the couch, and Jared was sitting close to her. Jensen sat on the armchair alongside them and watched carefully. 

  
  


Jared refilled Y/N's glass and handed it to her, letting their fingers brush over the glass as he did so. Jensen took a long sip of his own whisky and tried to figure out if the scene unfolding before him was making him jealous or not. It wasn't - at least, he didn't think so. Maybe he'd drank enough to numb that now. Jensen knew that nothing would ever change how Jared felt about him – he had faith in that at least. So seeing Jared flirting with Y/N that way, making her giggle, didn't make him jealous of Y/N. But Jensen soon became hyper aware that he was, in fact, jealous of Jared. He wanted that soft, sweet giggle to be because of him. He wanted Y/N's attention like she was giving Jared, replying to him with such an ease of flirtation that he himself had experienced first hand. He didn't want that aimed at Jared and not because of who Jared was to Jensen, but because Jared _wasn't_ Jensen. The feeling made him uncomfortable and even more so when Y/N bit her bottom lip. And she knew how he felt about that, he'd downright told her as much in New York, that much he remembered clearly now. Jensen felt an uncomfortable throbbing in his crotch that forced him to cross his legs and subtly grind the heel of his palm into his growing erection, and fuck, something so simple shouldn't turn him on that quickly, he wasn't a teenager any more. 

  
  


His uncomfortable shifting in the armchair clearly drew Y/N's attention over Jared's shoulder, because she promptly let her bottom lip go. Jensen gives her a tight lipped smile in way of a silent thank you and focused on refilling his now empty glass. Jared reached down and offered Jensen his own glass to top up and Jensen obliged without either of them saying a word. A lot of things with Jared were that silently effortless, but apparently how Jensen felt about Y/N, how he couldn't stop thinking about Jared's proposition was not one of them. 

“Thanks, baby,” Jared smiled softly, bringing his glass to his lips to take a sip before returning to his conversation with Y/N. Jensen couldn't even tell you what they were talking about, so he tried to focus on it, maybe he should at least try to insert himself into the night. He was the reason they were even getting to know each other. 

“I dated this guy once who literally lasted like less than a minute and, honestly, it wasn't worth the effort,” Y/N laughed, Jared's laugh bled into it and Jensen almost rolled his eyes. Of course they were talking about sex. “It's saying something that I'd take that over nothing right now,” Y/N scoffed. 

  
  


Jensen wasn't drunk enough for this conversation, so he shot back his whisky and refilled his glass. 

“That sounds awful,” Jared commented. 

“It wasn't all bad he was good with his mouth,” she shrugged, “he could get me off if he wanted to... he just barely wanted to.”

“Men are assholes,” Jared scoffed. Y/N laughed, clearly noting the irony of Jared's statement. “We are though,” he shrugged. Jensen wasn't sure what he could offer to the conversation, if he even wanted to offer anything to it. “I think you're probably just not fucking the right men,” Jared offered. Y/N laughed and, once more, glanced over Jared's shoulder to look at Jensen, clearly weary of his reaction to all this. Jared obviously took her shift in attention to mean something entirely different. “He's pretty good, yanno,” Jared boasted. 

“Jared,” Jensen warned, speaking up for what felt like the first time in a while. 

“What? I'm not allowed to brag?” Jared smirked, looking over his own shoulder at Jensen. Jensen silently shook his head at Jared, hoping Jared would get the hint to drop the conversation. But Jared, of course, pretended he didn't notice. He turned back to Y/N and smirked harder. “He's modest.” 

  
  


“Sorry, I need the bathroom,” she announced politely, and the look she gave Jensen told him she was really just giving them space. She walked out of the room, and as soon as she was out of earshot Jensen sighed. 

“Jared, what are you doing?” 

“I already told you what I'm doing,” Jared replied smoothly. “She's up for it, if she wasn't I wouldn't be trying.” 

“Why? Why are you so hell bent on doing this?” Jensen pressed. Jared turned his body to face Jensen more and licked his lips. 

“Because it's what you want, isn't it?” Jared blinked. 

“Jared aren't you fucking listening to me? I told you earlier to drop this,” Jensen grunted. 

“You told me when you were in New York you wanted to fuck her, I'm just letting that happen. I thought you'd be happy.” Jared stared at Jensen as Jensen processed what he'd said. The call. The call was real. Jared had heard him, he'd heard everything. Fuck. 

  
  


“You – the call, you – you know,” Jensen spluttered out. 

“Jen, what did you expect? You called me and told me, so of course I know,” Jared laughed softly, a frown tugging his brow. 

“I wasn't sure if – I couldn't remember clearly. Jared you've known all this time how I – I've been trying to tell you how I feel, I didn't think you knew.” Jensen could barely finish a sentence. 

“Well I do,” Jared confirmed softly. 

“And that's it? You're not... you're not mad or upset?” Jensen asked in disbelief. Jared remained quiet, and Jensen suddenly thought over Jared's earlier words again. _Because this is what you want_. “Jared, is this really what you want?” Jensen pried, “there's no going back from this. We're stuck with Y/N for eighteen months. I don't want anything to...” he swallowed hard, “I can't lose you, Jared.” 

“You won't lose me. I'm not going anywhere of my own accord,” Jared reassured him. He got off the couch and knelt at Jensen's feet, gripping Jensen's thighs. “I mean that.” Jensen nodded slowly. 

“I'm sorry, Jar. I'm sorry I feel like this, I don't want to. Fuck, I wish I didn't.” 

  
  


For the first time since Jensen returned from New York there was a hint of something real on Jared's face, but Jensen was yet to put his finger on what.

“I'm serious, I wish I didn't feel anything for Y/N. And it doesn't take away from how I feel about you, not one bit. I want you to know that.” Relief. It was relief that had washed over Jared's features. “I love you for trying to give me what I want, but I don't want it without you. I don't want any of this without you, Jared. I would only ever want this if I knew you were okay with it, not just you giving me it because you think it'll make me happy or make me stay.” Jensen had a feeling he was at least close to figuring out Jared's weird behaviour, if not spot on. He'd been blinded a lot recently by his own muddled up thoughts, but if he knew Jared as well as he thought he did, all of this would suddenly make complete sense. Jensen just felt so shitty that he hadn't noticed it sooner. Usually he could tell the second Jared's walls went up and when he was acting. “If I had to choose, I'd always pick you.” 

  
  


Jared leaned forward and kissed Jensen. And it wasn't hungry or passionate or desperate like all of his other kisses had been recently, it was raw and real. It was everything Jensen had been craving, everything he had no idea he'd missed. They heard movement from the doorway and broke away. Jared sniffled and looked away for a second as Jensen noticed tears in his eyes. 

“Hey Y/N, it's getting late, we should probably call it a night.” Y/N smiled warmly at Jensen and nodded her head, reading between the lines. 

“Of course, I had a really nice evening, thank you.” Jared had seemingly composed himself now as he looked at Y/N and smiled gently. 

“You're welcome, I've really enjoyed getting to know you,” he told her. Jensen smiled genuinely at the sincerity in Jared's words. He liked that Jared genuinely liked Y/N, and not just to please him. 

“You too, Jared,” she smiled. “Urm, Jensen we need to nail that final scene before Friday.” She looked at him. 

“Right, yeah. Why don't you come over Thursday and we'll work it out?” Jensen offered. 

“Yeah,” Jared agreed. 

“Okay, sure, that sounds good, I'll see you then. I'll see myself out.” Jared was still kneeling at Jensen's feet, gripping his thighs. “Night guys.” 

  
  


They heard the front door open and close behind Y/N and it grew silent once more. 

“I like Y/N,” Jared told him honestly. “I'm sorry for how I've been. You're right, I was trying to give you what you wanted. I thought if I seemed cool about it and just let you fuck her then at least you wouldn't leave me.” Jared blushed and looked down.

“Jared, listen to me, I'm never going to leave you, okay? I don't know why I like Y/N or how I'm feeling like this, because I love you so fucking much and she is never going to replace you, but I'll ignore those feelings and I will never ever act on them again.” Jared frowned, like he didn't want to hear that, and Jensen was suddenly at a loss as to what Jared wanted from him. 

“I don't-” Jared stopped, licking his lips wet and then swallowing hard. “I don't know how I feel about it all. I've been trying to figure it out. All I know is I don't want to lose you. I know that she is a part of your life now, and I know that you have to pretend to love her and I can see that you care for her – and that's okay,” he added the last part quickly, “I just don't want you to wake up one day and decide she's the only thing you need.” Jensen was shaking his head before he'd even thought of the words to reply that would reassure Jared. 

“No, baby, I'll always need you no matter what.” Jared lay his head in Jensen's lap and Jensen clasped his hand over it, letting Jared's long hair slip through his fingers. “Hey, c'mon let's go to bed. We're kinda drunk and it's late.” 

  
  


Jared reluctantly agreed and they both headed upstairs together. It was quiet, but Jensen didn't mind. As much as there was still so much uncertainty surrounding them and Y/N and their feelings towards the whole situation, at least it was real. At least Jared was finally real again. 

“It wasn't an awful idea,” Jared finally spoke up as they stripped down for bed. 

“What wasn't?” Jensen prompted.

“The threesome,” Jared smirked and Jensen scoffed, shaking his head. It had broken any remaining tension, that was for sure. 

“Jar, c'mon,” Jensen complained softly. 

“It wasn't!” Jared defended as he pulled back the covers and climbed into bed. “She is attractive, you can't deny she was interested, and it has been a while and... we used to do that kinda thing. Don't you miss it?” Jared prompted as Jensen climbed in alongside him. 

“The threesomes or girls?” Jensen clarified. 

“Both.” 

  
  


Jensen decided to not brush the question off with a vague reply or some joke like he normally would've done. It was the first time in a long time Jared was willing to have a completely open and honest conversation about this without it seemingly turning sour.

“Sometimes, sure,” Jensen agreed. “Do you?”

“Yeah,” Jared admitted. “C'mon, Jen, I'm not kidding myself here. We're both bi, we both like girls, it's no secret that it's different with them. I do miss it sometimes. And Y/N could give you everything you want, kids and all that.”

“Will you stop saying that, Jared?” Jensen sighed, “I don't care, okay? I'm not willing to lose you over it.” Jared laid down and on his side, facing Jensen who was pleased to see his comment or frustrated tone hadn't stirred any hostility. 

“Maybe you wouldn't have to. Maybe I could learn to share you,” Jared pondered. 

“Yeah, okay baby,” Jensen scoffed, the idea of Jared, who had been jealous of Y/N since the beginning, learning to share was not something Jensen could see happening. 

“Don't say it like that,” Jared smirked, chuckling slightly. “I'm being serious. What if it could be real with both of us?” 

“That's a big what if, baby," Jensen brushed him off. "Too big for past midnight. Go to sleep.” Jensen kissed Jared and watched as he closed his eyes and started to settle. 

  
  


And Jensen wished he could say that he'd really brushed off the very idea of being able to be with both Y/N and Jared without either of them getting hurt, but he hadn’t. In fact, it was all he thought about as he lay there wide awake until the sun had risen the next day. 


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, acting, kissing, threesome, MMF, m/m, oral (M&F rec), p in v, orgasms

“It seems like it doesn't matter how long we stay away, we always end up back here.” Jensen looked around them and Y/N nodded, swallowing hard.

“Seems so,” she agreed softly. They let the tension build between them, that hard awkward silence that Jensen hated around Y/N under normal circumstances.

“Are you at least happy?” he pressed, frowning slightly. Y/N drew a deep breath, glancing over her shoulder.

“Ye-yeah, sure, I am,” she shrugged.

“I've always known when you're lying Lizzie,” he told her seriously. Y/N chewed on her bottom lip and Jensen had to tell himself to stay in character.

“Then I guess you have your answer,” she replied, looking back up at him. She bit her lip again, but this time it was like she was doing it on purpose, not Lizzie anxiously chewing it whilst looking up at Ryan, but Y/N being a little tease and _why?_

“Jen,” Jared's voice grounded Jensen as he glanced over to the couch. Jared was sitting with the script in his hand as he prompted Jensen to deliver his next line. Jensen could argue he was pausing for some sort of dramatic effect, but they all knew that was a lie.

“Right, sorry,” he cleared his throat.

“Then I guess you have your answer,” Y/N said again.

“Then why do it, Liz? Why stay?” Jensen replied. Y/N scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest, shaking her head. There were tears in her eyes as she stepped back and turned her body away from Jensen for a moment.

“Because I've got nothing else and who wants to be alone?”

“Being alone is better than being with someone and unhappy,” he retorted.

“Wow, Ryan,” she scoffed. “So you were unhappy with me?” she pressed.

“Oh fucking hell, Lizzie don't do this,” he grunted.

“Do what, exactly, Ryan?”

“Twist my words! You know what? Every time I miss you, or I wonder why we never worked out, why I never took you away with me, you say or do something like this and then I remember that we just don't work.” He started to shout.

“What do you want from me, Ryan? Want me to tell you that I'm miserable with him? That I wish he was you? I don't know what you want! You want me to leave him but you don't want me either. And you can't blame me for everything. You're the one that left, that keeps leaving. You're the one that runs away the second this gets real.” _Real._ Jensen swallowed, trying to refocus on the scene.

“I- I don't -” Jensen struggled.

“I don't run away, you push me,” Jared read out.

“I don't run away, Lizzie. You push me away. You always have.”

“Why would I push you away, Ryan? You're the only thing I've ever wanted.”

“This is the kiss, right?” Jensen checked, glancing at Jared who nodded.

“Yeah, _Ryan kisses Lizzie passionately before opening a classroom door and pushing her inside_ ,” Jared read out. “Didn't realise this scene was in a school.”

“School reunion,” Y/N explained.

“Lot of sex in this, huh?” Jared continued, thumbing through the script. Jensen had never really talked at length with Jared about the movie, not wanting to make him jealous. But he'd also never kept anything from him or tried to make it seem less than it was, not wanting Jared to get a shock come premiere night. “They fuck more than we do.” Jensen felt his cheeks flame and Y/N laughed.

“I think they fuck more than most couples,” Y/N replied.

“Shit, wish you had this kind of stamina, Jen,” Jared continued with a teasing smirk.

“Okay can we focus again?” Jensen grunted. Y/N was giggling. It turned out that Jared and Y/N getting on well wasn't such a great thing for Jensen, because they apparently liked to team up and tease him - making him blush or squirm with their inappropriate jokes and comments.

“Okay, take it from Lizzie's line, _what do you want from me, Ryan?_ And into the steamy kiss,” Jared instructed. Y/N nodded her understanding, clearing her throat as she stepped back into the sort of position she was in before.

“What do you want from me, Ryan? Do you want me to tell you that I'm miserable with him? That I wish he was you? I don't know what you want from me! You want me to leave him but you don't want me either. And you know what? You can't blame me for everything. You're the one that left, you're the one that _keeps_ leaving. You're the one that runs away the second this gets real.” There was that word again, but Jensen was more prepared this time, brushing over it and delivering his line.

“I don't run away, Lizzie. You push me away just like you always have.” Y/N paused, biting her bottom lip for a brief second and it made Jensen ball his hands into fists at his side. She had to know what she was doing, but the look on her face told him she was so _in character._

“Why would I push you away, Ryan? You're the only thing I've ever wanted.”

Jensen reached for Y/N and kissed her with the intention of ending the scene once his lips had touched hers, but the second he tasted her, he lost himself in it. And she clung to his shirt and kissed back. And this was so _wrong,_ because only last night he'd promised Jared this wouldn't happen. And Jared – _Jared –_ was sitting right there, witnessing this kiss for himself, and Jensen knew he needed to pull away before it was glaringly obvious it wasn't anything to do with the scene any more. He heard movement and he tore himself away fully expecting Jared to be storming out of the room, but instead he was tentatively making his way towards them. Before Jensen could step back and release Y/N, Jared had reached them and was pressing their bodies tighter together.

“You need to be closer,” he told them softly. Jensen wanted to tell Jared that he knew how to kiss, he knew how to sell it. He wanted to say that Mick had never had an issue with the way Jensen had held Y/N and kissed her before, but it became glaringly obvious when Jared's hand didn't leave the base of Jensen's spine but instead travelled down a little further, that choreographing their little make out session was not his intention at all.

As if to solidify Jensen's suspicions, Jared leaned in and kissed him. Jensen's lips still tingled from Y/N and for the first time he could truly appreciate the differences between Jared and Y/N. How soft and small Y/N was, how pliable and timid she could be. But Jared was larger, his lips rougher but in no way any less enjoyable to kiss. Jared was hard around the edges, his kiss more commanding, despite the role he played in their relationship. Jensen could feel Y/N's fists grip his shirt tighter, reminding him she was still very much there, very much part of this, and it seemed she was shifting against Jensen's body - whether that was Jared's doing or her own, Jensen wasn't too sure. Jared pulled back and, more hesitantly turned towards Y/N. She leaned into him and took her cue to kiss him, and Jensen watched intently, carefully judging his own reaction to what he was witnessing, but all he could feel was the arousal thrumming through his veins and making his jeans tighter. Jared's large hand engulfed the entirety of the side of Y/N's face as he kissed her, and Y/N's one hand loosened around Jensen's shirt and slowly smoothed down his torso towards his belt, resting just there.

When they broke apart Y/N instantly looked to Jensen for approval, and she got it as he kissed her once more, more passionately this time, and Jared reached around the front, starting to tug at Jensen's belt. Jensen broke away from his kiss with Y/N as he looked down and watched them both work as a team to get his belt unbuckled.

“Shit,” he panted, the word lost amongst heavy breathing that bled into a groan. This was really happening. And not because Jared had pushed for it, not because it was some premeditated plan. This was just _happening._ He looked between both of them but he was only met with aroused, flushed faces and dilated pupils. _Fuck, this was happening,_ he kept repeating in his mind as Jared encouraged his jeans down his thighs, dropping to his knees. Jensen took the opportunity to kiss Y/N again.

“You're sure?” She breathed out against his swollen lips. She was biting her lip now, looking up at him. Fuck her. She was irresistible. Jensen reached for the hand she was still clinging to his shirt with and guided it down his body, over the hard outline of his erection through his boxers.

“I'm sure,” he confirmed. Y/N smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips before she too lowered to her knees. “Oh god,” Jensen groaned, louder this time.

Jared kissed Y/N again, reaching to pull her shirt over her head and reveal her simple red lace bra. His large hands groped at her chest immediately, he'd no doubt missed that. Jensen took the chance to remove his own shirt, pushing his jeans down further and stepping out of them altogether, leaving himself in nothing but boxers. Y/N reached for Jared's shirt buttons and popped them open one at a time, smoothing her hands over his soft skin that Jensen loved so much. Jared shrugged the shirt from his shoulders and dropped it to the floor. Jensen's eyes instantly fell on the mark Jared still sported on his hip and he smiled warmly, his hand brushing down to his inner thigh, his fingers ghosting his own mark and as Jared pulled away, he noticed just where Jensen was stroking and looked up at him with lust blown eyes. _Yours_ was all Jensen could think and he just hoped the message got through to Jared. Y/N started to kiss at Jensen's thighs, raising up on her knees to kiss his torso and along the waistband of his boxers.

Jared reached up to hook his fingers into Jensen's boxers, and Jensen was suddenly very aware that the both of them were still dressed from the waist down. He stepped back, away from Jared and encouraged Y/N to her feet, unbuttoning her jeans and pushing them down her legs as she began to step out of them, gripping Jensen's arm for balance. Jared helped towards the end and smoothed his hands up Y/N's legs, leaning in to kiss at the sides of her thighs and she kissed Jensen again hungrily. Jensen reached around her back to unclasp her bra and it fell into the bend of her elbows. Jensen couldn't peel his eyes away, knowing he was about to see something he'd never seen before. Something that made this more real. More real than it had ever been before. Jared's lips were suddenly on Jensen's thighs, his hand cupping Jensen's erection through his boxers. Jensen moaned, his hips automatically bucking forward into the touch as Y/N slowly dropped her bra. The way Jensen reached to pinch at one of Y/N's nipples was like second nature, as he felt it grow hard between his fingers and let it go to see it more pink and angry than before. Y/N gasped for breath and bit her lip up at him again.

Jensen took it as an invitation to kiss her hard, nipping at her bottom lip himself, and she moaned into the kiss as his fingers dug into her soft flesh and he felt Jared hooking his fingers into his boxers once more. Jensen let him this time, and Y/N was quick to pull away and look down his body to watch Jared remove Jensen's final piece of clothing, revealing his hard, throbbing cock.

“Fuck,” she whispered, dropping to her knees beside Jared.

“Impressive, huh?” Jared murmured with a smirk. Jensen would feel embarrassed, but all he could feel was an overwhelming arousal that they were both there, knelt at his feet.

“Yeah,” she agreed, biting her lip and scraping her nails up Jensen's thigh. Jared reached and wrapped his hand around the base of Jensen's cock.

“Taste it,” Jared instructed softly.

“Are you sure?” she checked, looking between them. Jensen would be damned if he said no now. He'd never wanted anything more in his life and the way Jared squeezed the base of his cock a little tighter and tugged gently twice made him whimper.

“Wouldn't tell you to if I wasn't, sweetheart,” Jared confirmed. His free hand reached for Y/N's hair and held it back and Jensen watched her lean forward and kiss Jared once before turning her attention back to Jensen.

She reached up to replace Jared's hand and he moved it to hold Jensen's thigh instead. Her hand was much smaller than Jared's, her fingers barely meeting around Jensen's girth and it was softer, more delicate, like the weight of his cock wasn't as effortless to her as it was to Jared. She licked her lips wet and slowly opened her mouth, closing it around his tip and sucking softly.

“Fuck,” Jensen hissed out, his hand automatically reaching out for Jared's head – he wasn't sure why. Jared was watching on in amazement, chewing his bottom lip and scraping his blunt nails down Jensen's thigh, as his free hand opened his jeans and rubbed over the front of his boxers. He stepped back and a quick glance towards him told Jensen that Jared was now working on getting naked himself. Y/N was starting to take Jensen deeper, swirling her tongue and sucking a little harder. There was something so delicate about Y/N, even when she started to choke around him and her mouth made obscene slurping sounds. Jared was on his feet again, stood at Jensen's side and Jensen wrapped his hand around Jared's throbbing cock and started to work him in his hand.

Jared turned Jensen's face towards him completely and kissed him passionately, all teeth and tongue, making Jensen's legs weak.

“Fuck, Jar, she's good at this,” Jensen gasped quietly, and he felt Y/N smirk around him, so he knew she'd heard him.

“Yeah?” Jared smirked, breathing heavily against his mouth. Jensen felt Y/N pull away and when he looked down, he watched as she moved a little, more towards Jared. Jared gasped into Jensen's mouth as she sucked him down.

“Told you,” Jensen chuckled. Jared straightened up, looking down to watch Y/N before slowly getting to his knees, prompting Y/N to move with him so she was lower down, basically laying on the floor. Jared's intentions became clear when he twisted as best as he could to get Jensen into his mouth and Jensen helped out by changing his own position slightly. Jared was eager to suck him down, watching Y/N doing the same to him only turned Jensen on more. Fuck, he'd forgotten how much he enjoyed this – yet it was different this time. Probably because he and Jared weren't trying to hide the odd _accidental_ touch or look, and probably because he was doing this with two people he cared deeply for.

Jared pulled back and moaned, placing a gentle kiss to Jensen's mark before gently encouraging Y/N off of him. He moved out from between them and helped Y/N to her feet. He kissed her passionately, and Jensen watched on as Jared gripped her arms and twisted her away from him, facing her towards Jensen like he was presenting some sort of gift. And what a gift Y/N was. Jensen kissed her, tasting Jared on her tongue and he never thought he'd love something so much. He kissed over her jaw and down her neck, focusing on her breasts for a moment as he cupped one in his hand and swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucking and biting it until it was hard before moving on, down her stomach and settling on his knees at her feet. He reached up gently to hook his fingers into her panties and slowly – _very slowly –_ pulled them down her legs, wanting to savour this moment as he wasn't sure he'd get another like it.

As soon as he'd gotten her panties to her knees he let them drop to her feet of their own accord and he leaned forward and kissed along her lower stomach, stroking a hand up her leg and softly brushing his fingers through her slick. Y/N whimpered and spread her legs just a little to give him the access he needed to rub his fingers through her properly. Jared stepped up behind Y/N and smoothly reached for the back of her thighs, encouraging her up into his arms. Her back pressed to his chest as she hooked her legs over his arms and suddenly she's there, spread and on display right in front of Jensen, and Jared's long throbbing cock is pulsing just below her ass and Jensen's right there – close enough to taste and touch and smell and he's not sure he's getting out of this alive. He goes for familiarity first, sucking Jared down, his nose nudging at Y/N's clit and becoming shiny with her slick when he got Jared deep enough, and Y/N whimpered, looking down her body and biting that damn lip again. Jensen sucked harder around Jared, almost to stop himself from busting a nut right there untouched, and Jared groaned.

When Jensen pulled back he wrapped a hand around Jared and moved him out of the way just slightly, kissing up Y/N's inner thigh until his mouth was right there, and as he stuck his tongue out just that little more he tasted her. He'd been here before, his face between her legs, her hand on the back of his head as she moaned and mewled above him, but he'd never tasted how sweet she was, never felt how hot and soft she was against his tongue. He remembered to keep moving his hand up and down over Jared as he lapped and swirled his tongue around Y/N's clit and then down to her entrance and just inside, so close to licking at Jared's length again. And Jensen wanted to eat her out whilst Jared stuffed her full, wanted to lap at the couple of inches she'd no doubt be able to fit inside, and suck on Jared's balls as he fucked up into her, but something about the idea of Jared fucking her first didn't sit right with him. Jealousy was a bitch, even though there Jared was, letting his own boyfriend put his face between a girl's legs, a girl he had feelings for, no less. Jared was a better man than Jensen would ever be and he knew it.

Jared let Y/N down onto shaking legs after a few moments and Jensen stood up. They all naturally migrated towards the couch and Jared encouraged Jensen back onto it. Jensen sat back, watching as Jared and Y/N kissed above him and Jared's hand snaked down her body to between her legs. Y/N gasped, and although Jensen couldn't see from his position, he knew Jared had his fingers inside her. She gripped his arm, squeezing tight as her legs started to bend and he held her up with his free hand wrapped around her waist.

“Wait 'til you feel him inside you, sweetheart. He's gonna split you in two you're so tight,” Jared smirked. Y/N whimpered, and Jensen worked himself in his hand, deciding he could more than happily get off like this, watching the way Jared made Y/N squirm with his hand between her legs. “He fucks hard, think you can take it?” Jared continued. Y/N nodded her head eagerly, whining and mewling. “Go on then,” he prompted, slipping his hand away. Y/N turned completely to Jensen and climbed over him, taking Jared's hand for balance. She sat on Jensen's thighs first and reached for his cock, gripping the base as she lifted her hips and moved forward, hovering over him.

Jensen couldn't stop looking, feeling the heat from her pussy and her thighs wrap around his cock without even touching him yet. Jared climbed onto the couch next to Jensen and smoothed his hand over Jensen's chest.

“She's tight baby, gonna feel amazing,” he rasped.

“Fuck,” Jensen grunted at the very thought. “C'mon sweetheart,” he encouraged her, reaching to squeeze her thigh. She bit her bottom lip again as she kept his eye contact, and Jensen felt his tip nestle between now unfamiliar folds and slowly she sank down. Jared was right, she was tight - and warm and perfect and everything he'd imagined and more. Jared turned Jensen's face to his and kissed down the loud moan that escaped him once Y/N was sitting flush on his lap and he was as deep as she could get him. Jared's tongue licked against Jensen's, his teeth biting down on Jensen's puffy bottom lip. Jensen reached aimlessly for Jared's cock, wrapping his hand around it as soon as he found it and pumping hard, rolling his thumb over the ridge of his head every time he passed it.

“Jesus, fuck,” Jared gasped and Jensen smirked into the kiss.

“C'mere baby, let me taste you,” he encouraged.

Jared scrambled to stand on the couch, bringing his cock closer to Jensen's mouth, and Jensen eagerly started to suck Jared down, bucking his hips up to meet Y/N's as she rode him over and over, moaning and mewling as he felt her slick dribble down his cock and over his balls. His free hand reached to fondle her breast as it bounced with her movements and he choked around Jared as he grew more and more eager to please them both. Jared was kissing Y/N now, he could hear the smack of their lips and the way Jared swallowed down the damn near pornographic noises she was making. And Jensen was sure he wasn't going to last much longer because it felt too good and they were both too perfect and this was everything he had ever wanted and more – and yet he didn't want it to end in case this was the only time he ever got to feel this. Jensen could feel Jared's fingers accidentally – maybe purposefully - brushing against his length as he rubbed Y/N's clit and she clenched around Jensen as she got closer to her high.

Jensen had to pull back from Jared's cock, eager to see the look of pure bliss on Y/N's face as she came around him and scraped her nails down his chest and Jared's bicep.

“Fuck, good girl,” Jensen praised, “so fucking hot.” Jared returned his attention to Jensen and gripped the base of his cock, guiding it back towards Jensen's mouth. Jensen was happy to oblige, sucking him down again as the vigor that Y/N had been using to ride him slowed down a little. Jensen gave all his attention to Jared, twisting his hand around the length he couldn't fit inside his mouth, fondling his balls and Jared's face screwed up in pleasure, that way Jensen knew meant he was close. Jensen didn't let up until Jared was cumming hot and salty down the back of his throat.

“Holy fuck that was hot,” Y/N gasped, her eyes half lidded and she looked so blissed out. Damn, she was gorgeous. Jared kissed the thought away from Jensen's mind, and when he pulled back he kept his face close.

“Are you gonna cum for us, baby? Cum in her tight little pussy?” Jared prompted. “Or maybe you should cum on your stomach, let us lick you clean.”

“Fuck, yes yes,” Jensen agreed eagerly.

Y/N lifted her hips enough that Jensen slipped out and climbed off of his lap, kneeling between his legs. Jared got down to join her and they both licked and tugged and kissed his cock, his thighs, his lower stomach. The sensation was almost too much to handle. There were lips and hands and teeth and tongues _everywhere_ and Jensen thought his head might explode. He bucked his hips up to meet their touch, regardless, so close to his release now, and Jared took the lead, knowing exactly what got Jensen over that edge as he spurted hot white ropes over his own chest and stomach and both of them eagerly licked and worked on cleaning him up. Jensen's chest was heaving, his mind still spinning in the foggy aftermath of his orgasm.

“Well fuck,” Y/N giggled breathlessly as she crashed down on the couch alongside Jensen. “I'm not sure that's quite what Mick had in mind for the classroom scene, but that should definitely make the movie.” 


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: angst, fluff, talk of threesomes, making out, biting/claiming, mentions of sex

Luckily, Jared was awake when Jensen got up to get ready for the final day of shooting. It had been oddly quiet between them once Y/N had left the evening before, and Jensen usually dealt fine with silence around Jared, it never felt awkward or uncomfortable, but given what had happened, he felt like he needed to say something. Although, Jared didn't seem at all upset by anything that had happened, and Jensen put his own feelings on the back burner so he could completely focus on Jared, worried he was about to build another wall and act again. But there didn't seem to be any signs of that. Jared was relaxed, contemplative rather than upset, and he'd fallen asleep with his arm around Jensen's waist, so that had to count for something.

Once Jensen had washed and dressed, he realised Jared must've gone downstairs and headed down to find him in the kitchen. 

“Last day! Nervous? Excited?” Jared prompted, and Jensen noted that he was making coffee – specifically coffee in a travel mug. 

“Bit of both,” Jensen noted. “Bet you're glad it's coming to an end,” he added, heading towards the fridge. 

“It'll be nice to have you around more again. And we fly out in a week, I'm looking forward to being back on set again.” Jensen passed Jared the creamer and nodded his head. “Not gonna miss LA either,” Jared added. Jensen had had barely any time off for months, going practically straight into filming season four for the show wasn't exactly ideal, but at least he got to do it alongside Jared. And at least he had a good enough reason to spend so much time with him again. They'd had to keep their little domestic life in LA the last several months on the down low whilst Jensen shot the movie. As far as fans were concerned, Jared was back home in Texas. Their LA home had been good to Jensen, but he missed their real home and he did miss their second home in Vancouver too.

  
  


Jensen watched Jared finish up making coffee and bit the inside of his cheek. The last day of filming wasn't exactly what they should be talking about. 

“It'll be nice to have you on set again, I've missed working with you,” Jensen started. “It will be harder having to organise time with Y/N though,” he added, carefully judging Jared's reaction to her name. Jared pursed his lips and nodded his head in agreement. 

“She can come and stay weekends, like some of the other casts' families do,” Jared suggested. 

“Yeah, I guess. We have that spare room,” he nodded. Jared and Jensen had a two bedroom apartment, but no one needed to know they only used the one. 

“And a big enough bed for three,” Jared added. Jensen's eyebrows raised slightly. “That's where this conversation is going, isn't it? You want to talk about yesterday? Make sure I'm okay?” Jared pressed. Jensen licked his lips and swallowed.

“Are you?” he asked. 

  
  


Jared put the lid on the travel mug and turned to face Jensen completely. 

“Yes, baby, I'm fine. I had a good time, did you?” he asked, reaching out to hand Jensen his mug. Jensen took it slowly, feeling the warm plastic in his palm and played with the lid.

“Yeah, I did,” he admitted.

“Good,” Jared nodded, Jensen catching it out the corner of his eye. 

“It didn't mean anything Jar, I mean... It doesn't have to mean anything and it doesn't have to happen again.”

“I know,” Jared nodded. 

“You urm – You didn't with her or me,” Jensen said awkwardly. 

“I didn't want to,” Jared told him. Jensen looked up at him and felt a guilt wash over him. Did last night push Jared out of his comfort zone? “What happened was perfect, I was happy with that,” Jared added, like he could read Jensen's mind – maybe he could. “I didn't have any intentions of having sex with Y/N and I figured you would be... busy with her so I didn't expect anything,” Jared explained. Jensen's cheeks heated up and he cleared his throat. 

  
  


“So it didn't make you jealous? Seeing me with her?” Jensen checked. 

“No,” Jared answered - truthfully from what Jensen could tell. 

“Did you plan it?” Jensen asked next, almost afraid of the answer. The day before it had turned Jensen on to think that it had naturally taken that turn between the three of them, it put him in a gentle ease about the whole situation that it wasn't some kind of premeditated thing, but afterwards, when he considered that Jared initiated it and had been hell bent on them doing that a few days before, Jensen had to wonder. 

“No,” Jared repeated, again seemingly being honest. “I urm – I saw you two kissing and well... thought I'd try my luck,” he shrugged. Jensen didn't say anything, and it prompted Jared to continue, “I've told you before that it turned me on, remember that day I saw you two on set?” he prompted. Jensen nodded, he couldn't forget that day for anything. “I wanted it, Jensen, I wouldn't have started it if I didn't – not after our talk the other night.”

“So we're okay?” Jensen checked. Jared stepped up closer and kissed Jensen softly. 

“We're more than okay,” Jared confirmed quietly. 

  
  


Jensen placed his mug down on the kitchen counter softly and kissed Jared again, more passionately this time as he ran his hands down his chest, all hard lines and muscle because Jared had suddenly taken an interest in bulking out, filling out his frame more. Jensen didn't mind that, he could still overpower him if he needed to, Jared always let him. Jensen fisted the hem of Jared's shirt in his hands and stretched the material out, pressing his lips harder to Jared's like he was hoping they would become one, like he could crawl under Jared's skin and live there because this wasn't close enough. Jared cupped Jensen's face and kissed back, tongues and teeth colliding and it was messy and should've been awkward, but neither of them cared. Jensen pushed his hands under Jared's shirt, his fingers meeting with the warm soft skin he loved so much, and he started to lower himself to his knees, breaking their kiss. Jared panted heavily, hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at Jensen with a flushed face. Jensen lifted Jared's shirt more, coming face to face with the rapidly fading bruise on his hip. The bruise that had caught his eye several times the night before and made his cock throb and his heart sing every single time. 

  
  


Jensen sank his teeth into the sensitive flesh, sucking it into his mouth as he worked on deepening the bruise once more and Jared groaned, gripping Jensen's shoulder tightly as he hissed each time Jensen bit too hard. Jensen finally pulled back and admired the way the mark now shone, deep purple with breaks of reds, tinges of blues from the old mark, and Jared's skin shone with spit. Jensen got back up quickly and recaptured Jared's lips, tugging his own belt open and undoing his jeans as quickly as he could. He shoved them down to his knees and pushed on Jared's shoulders until he was dropping in front of him. Jared nuzzled Jensen's growing erection through the thin cotton of his boxers, and Jensen wished that they had time for him to bend Jared over this very counter and fuck him the way he didn't get to the day before. Jared's attention was quickly drawn to the inside of Jensen's thigh and his own mark and Jared wasted no time biting down, sucking and licking at the sore skin repeatedly. Jensen's cock throbbed alongside Jared's face, but Jared paid it no mind. 

  
  


Jensen was white knuckling the edge of the kitchen counter by the time Jared pulled back to admire his handiwork. He placed a gentle kiss to the skin alongside the mark and then tugged Jensen's jeans back up to his hips. Jensen took over, getting his erection into a comfortable position before redoing his jeans and buckling his belt. Jared stood back up to full height, pressing his forehead to Jensen's and Jensen gripped either side of Jared's face. 

“You best believe we're doing something about that third leg I'm sporting later on.” Jared scoffed, pulling back to laugh heartily at Jensen's joke. Jensen smirked, his heart thudding in his chest to see Jared laughing the way he was – to see him so happy. “Hey, come to set with me,” Jensen offered. He didn't want to leave. 

“I can't Jay, gotta pack,” Jared smiled softly. “I love you, have a good last day.” 

-

The morning of filming had been too busy for things to be awkward between Jensen and Y/N. They briefly said hello to each other in the makeup trailer, but Y/N was whisked away to wardrobe before they could say much more, and besides, they couldn't exactly have the conversation they needed to have in front of the crew, anyway. By the time Jensen was with her again they were already on set, getting into their characters' head spaces to film some scenes. It wasn't until they took a lunch break that they actually had any time to talk to each other. 

  
  


The atmosphere quickly changed as they headed across set to the food tent, and they both stumbled through polite conversation about how _the sky looked like it might rain_ and how _the temperature has definitely dropped since last week_. Jensen even commented on how he almost wore a jacket that morning. To say the conversation was forced, was an understatement. It shouldn't be awkward, it shouldn't be uncomfortable. Jensen hated that it was, and he wished he could take the day before back, especially because every time he looked at Y/N for too long he'd feel her mouth on his skin, her pussy wrapped around his cock and he'd see her kissing Jared. And then he'd start getting hard again. It was a bad idea, the whole thing was a bad idea. And maybe Jared didn't think so, but Jared wasn't the one that had feelings for Y/N. It wasn't Jared's cock that got hard every time he thought about Y/N. He'd naively hoped it would scratch some sort of itch, but it hadn't. It had left him with a craving stronger than before. 

  
  


And Jared – fuck he loved Jared more than anything and Jared didn't deserve any of this. Jared was too good for him because if Jensen was honest with himself, if he was in Jared's position, he couldn't have witnessed them together knowing how he felt about her. All he'd be able to think is if they were falling in love at that very second. He'd spend a torturous amount of time wondering when Jared was finally going to leave him for her. He hated that he could make Jared feel that way. Because he never would. No matter how strongly he felt for Y/N, he could never leave Jared. He just couldn't. 

  
  


He remembered Y/N telling him to decide what he wanted from them both, regardless of their feelings, and he'd tried to figure it out, but he couldn't. He wanted them both. He wanted Jared, he wanted them to stay exactly as they were, but he also wanted Y/N. He wanted to see where this was going, he wanted to really give in to their chemistry and see what would become of it. And Jared was right – Jensen did want a family one day, more than anything, and Y/N could give him that easily, and he'd want it to be her if it was going to be any girl. 

  
  


But he could never have both of them. That wasn't the way the world worked.

  
  


As they carried their trays of food out of the hall, Jensen spoke up. 

“Fancy coming to my trailer to eat? You know, one last time for old times' sakes?” he asked, awkwardly. Y/N could see through him, Jensen had learned that already. 

She nodded, “yeah I think I should.” Jensen let out a breath of relief that she was on the same page, and they headed towards his trailer. Once inside, they took seats at the table and started to eat. Jensen let them both get at least half way through their meals before he chugged down some water and cleared his throat. 

“So yesterday,” Jensen started, finding his plate of pasta very interesting all of a sudden. 

“Was hot as fuck, but can't happen again? Was a mistake?” Y/N offered. Jensen stammered on a reply. He and Jared hadn't really discussed there being a repeat. Jensen swallowed hard and decided that honesty was always the best policy. 

  
  


“I really like you Y/N, you know I do. I didn't want the threesome to happen because I didn't want my feelings to get stronger,” he confessed. 

“And did they?” she asked softly. Jensen dropped his fork and continued to look at his plate, not focusing on anything in particular, but knowing he couldn't look at Y/N. “They did,” she concluded. “Mine too,” she confessed quietly. 

“I'll always pick Jared. I'm sorry, but I will,” Jensen told her firmly. 

“Jensen – I never would expect you not to. I wouldn't ever dream of getting between you.” Jensen finally looked up at her and she offered him a soft smile. “I'm sorry, I got caught up in it yesterday, if I'd have thought...” 

“We all did, Y/N, no one is to blame.” She nodded and looked down at her own plate. 

“It doesn't have to happen again, Jensen. Honestly, I haven't over-thought it. I assumed we were having fun, I never once thought you'd leave him for me, or even want more with me, or that it would happen again... you know me, Jen,” she smiled, looking up at him again. 

“Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry.” Jensen shook his head. Once again he'd over-thought things, worried about Y/N and what she was thinking or feeling and yet, once again, she'd proven that she was a big girl and could handle herself. 

“It was fucking hot though,” she offered, before shovelling more food into her mouth. Jensen smirked, trying to bite back a chuckle. 

“Yeah it fucking was,” he had to agree. 

-

Jensen rounded the corner of the school hall and sighed, noticing Y/N a little down the hall. “It seems like it doesn't matter how long we stay away, we always end up back here.” Jensen's voice echoed around the space a little as he looked around them and Y/N turned around to face him. 

“Seems so,” she agreed softly. Jensen let the silence grow and dug his hands into his slacks pockets.

“Are you at least happy?” he pressed, frowning slightly. Y/N drew a deep breath, glancing over her shoulder, back in the direction of the “reunion”.

“Ye-yeah, sure, I am,” she shrugged, hugging herself. Her dress complimented her eyes and Jensen stared at them for a moment. They looked so bright in this light.

“I've always known when you're lying, Lizzie,” he told her seriously, not breaking eye contact. Y/N eventually did, looking down at her shoes.

“Then I guess you have your answer,” she replied, looking back up at him. 

“Then why do it, Liz? Why stay?” Jensen replied. Y/N scoffed and shook her head. There were tears in her eyes as she stepped back and turned her body away from Jensen for a moment. You'd think that this being their fifth take, she wouldn't be so good at going from fine to upset so easily. She really was so good at this. 

“Because I've got nothing else! Who wants to be alone?” A tear trickled down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, looking away from him.

“Being alone is better than being with someone and unhappy,” he offered, more gentle than he'd ever delivered the line before. 

“Wow, Ryan,” she scoffed. “So you were unhappy with me?” she pressed.

“Oh fucking hell, Lizzie don't do this,” he grunted.

“Do what, exactly, Ryan?”

“Twist my words!” Y/N turned her back on him, but he carried on. “You know what? Every time I miss you, or I wonder why we never worked out, why I never took you away with me, you say or do something like this and then I remember that we just don't work.” He started to shout.

“What do you want from me, Ryan? Do you want me to tell you that I'm miserable with him? That I wish he was you? I don't know what you want from me! You want me to leave him but you don't want me either. And you know what? You can't blame me for everything. You're the one that left, you're the one that keeps leaving. You're the one that runs away the second this gets real.” 

“I don't run away, Lizzie. You push me away. You always have.”

“Why would I push you away, Ryan? You're the only thing I've ever wanted.”

  
  


Jensen stopped and just stared at Y/N as tears trickled down her cheeks. They'd made it the whole take, this could be it, the final time he ever gets to kiss Y/N like this. Sure, there would be the simple kisses they would share for photos or the public, but never anything like this again. Y/N continued to stare up at him with wide wet eyes. He was supposed to be kissing her right now, and he wanted to – so fucking badly, but he didn't want this to end. And not the movie, but this; the excuse to kiss Y/N like this. It was awful of him to think and feel that, but he couldn't help it. He hated himself for it. 

“You're the only thing-” Jensen cut her off when he finally kissed her. Tears pressed at the back of his closed eyelids as his lips pressed against hers, his hands cupping her entire face as she kissed him back, the saltiness of her tears on her lips that Jensen licked away and they continued to kiss and didn't stop, not even for air. Jensen finally remembered his cue and reached blindly for the classroom door handle, opening it and the door swung open before them. He didn't break the kiss as he led her inside and closed the door behind them, and he didn't break it once they were out of camera shot either. Y/N went with it, clinging to his shirt and kissing him harder, and Jensen couldn't stop, couldn't pull himself away. If he did it was over. It was all over. 

  
  


Banging on the door they were still kissing in front of startled them apart abruptly. 

“We've cut!” Someone shouted in. Y/N pulled back and wiped her lips dry, not even looking at Jensen as she turned around and wiped her face. Jensen realised he was crying too, and quickly reached up to brush the tears away, ashamed he'd gotten so caught up in it all. 

“That's the final take guys! We have officially finished! That’s a wrap!” They heard the other side of the door, applauses and cheers echoing around the hall. Jensen sniffed hard and Y/N finally looked at him. 

“Well done, sweetheart,” he forced a smile to his lips. “We did it.”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: grumpy!Jensen, flirting, teasing, mentions of public sex, heart to heart, talk of polyamory

It was weird to Jensen that he hadn't been going to set for an entire week now. But what was weirder – dare he admit it – was the fact that he hadn't seen Y/N all week. They'd decided they had enough photos and videos together to stagger posting for a couple of weeks, should they need to, just to keep up their facade. Ashley had been in touch to let Jensen know that now filming was over, and that the fans were aware of that, he and Y/N needed to seem like they were still hanging out, now more than ever. Part of him was thankful for the time away from Y/N. The last week had been nothing but Jared. They'd spent a lot of time at home, packing up the place and getting ready to head straight to Vancouver. Jensen was looking forward to something more familiar, and he wondered if, once they were back to normal, if his feelings for Y/N would eventually fade. Maybe he had been blurring the lines between on screen romance and off screen. That happened a lot in this industry. Maybe once he was _Dean_ again and he and Jared were back in the environment that had made them fall in love in the first place, Y/N would become an afterthought. He didn't want to forget her completely – he loved spending time with her, she was a great friend. But if the fake relationship could be as fake as possible, then that would be great.

Soon he'd only have to see her on some weekends, at least until the second round of press for the movie, on the lead up and then after the release. But as Jensen would be filming the show then, he'd managed to get out of a lot of it. His priority was _Supernatural_ and they knew that when they cast him as Ryan. But he had a few months for that, at least. A few months of nothing but Jared and Vancouver and Dean. Normality.

The airport was quieter than Jensen had seen it. Not that an airport was ever truly quiet, but there were at least cafes and shops that were a little less crowded. Jensen hated flying in the middle of the night. He hated looking out to see dark skies, there was something so creepy about it. He looked around for Jared and spotted his beanie from a mile off, a clear several inches taller than most of the crowd he'd found himself in. He had his back to Jensen, looking up at the board with all the Boarding information on it. Jensen huffed and turned back to his phone, trying to find a distraction from the weirdly bad mood he was in.

“Oh my god, you're Jensen Ackles.” Jared gasped mockingly, putting his mouth right next to Jensen's ear and making him jump. Jensen jerked away, seeing Jared leaning over the back of his chair.

“Fucking hell, Jared,” Jensen grumbled. Jared liked flying at night, he'd been in high spirits since they'd left for the airport. “What gate are we?”

“Doesn't say yet, information in half an hour,” Jared explained, jumping less than gracefully over the back of the chair next to Jensen and slumping into it. Jared was all limbs and not very elegant with them, but at least he didn't fall on his face this time – though that might've cheered Jensen up a little.

“Half an hour?” Jensen complained. “What are we gonna do for half an hour?”

Jared reached around and squeezed Jensen's shoulders, trying to de-stress him a little but Jensen shrugged him off abruptly.

“We're in public,” he hissed with a scowl.

“I'm not allowed to squeeze my brother's shoulders now? Sheesh,” Jared joked. He clearly didn't take it to heart as he dropped his hands and smirked over at Jensen.

“Sorry, I just, I don't even know, guess I'm irritable.” Jensen huffed, dropping his phone to his lap and pouting slightly.

“You guess?” Jared smirked. “Is it because we haven't... you know,” he prompted, his voice lower, hopefully indistinguishable amongst the buzz of chatter from the rest of the airport. Jensen didn't reply as he contemplated it. “Wanna get a room for a couple of hours?” 

“I'm not paying two hundred bucks for a quickie again,” Jensen argued. “That was humiliating last time.” Jared pursed his lips and looked around them, his eyes glancing around the place.

“Fancy a shower?” he asked casually.

“A show- Jared, what are you talking about?” Jensen grumbled. He followed Jared's line of sight towards the restrooms, seeing the large shower rooms. “No – Jared, no we're in public,” Jensen told him firmly.

Jared merely shrugged, a cheeky grin on his face.

“C'mon, it'll be fun,” he tempted.

“No, not happening, dude,” Jensen replied adamantly.

“Well I am gonna take a shower in the second door on the left and _just so you know,_ I'll be fully naked and fully prepared.” Jared got up and swanned over to the showers so casually, and Jensen just knew he was putting that wiggle in his damn ass on purpose. He was such a fucking tease. Jensen clenched his jaw, deciding to ignore his boyfriend as he once more picked up his cellphone and started to scroll through it, trying to keep his mind occupied. But regardless of what was on the screen, Jensen's mind wasn't paying attention. All he could think about was Jared in that damn shower. Damn him. Jensen glanced around. It wasn't happening. They'd already been stopped a couple of times by fans and had their photos not so subtly taken by people. It was far too risky. He subtly ground the heel of his palm down into his crotch to keep his erection at bay and huffed again.

He stood up abruptly, stuffing his cell into his pocket and starting to head towards the second door on the left. Damn Jared. That man was going to be the death of him.

The start of a new season was always exciting. It was nice to see familiar faces and catch up after hiatus, it was nice to meet new people too. There was something special and symbolic to Jensen about the first day in the makeup trailer, getting his hair cut back to be more “Dean” and having to shave whatever amount of facial hair he'd allowed to grow. Climbing into Baby for the first time in months was always special too. But being _Dean,_ using his deeper, gruffer voice and taking on that persona was like going home. He always forgot how much he missed it. He'd slept better than the night before, forgetting how much he'd missed the bed they had in their apartment in Vancouver. If his rendezvous with Jared in the second door on the left at the airport hadn't worn him out, then the flight did. But he was feeling more refreshed now, and was in much higher spirits.

The first few episodes saw Dean returning from hell and Sam off doing his own thing, so there weren't as many scenes together. But that didn't stop them hanging out at every possible second. It was nothing new to anyone else there – in fact, people would've been questioning it if Jared _wasn't_ camped out behind the camera as Jensen shot a scene. Misha was new. He seemed nice, he and Jensen seemed to get on from the get go. He got on with Jared too, which was always nice. His character, Cas, was some dry, straight cut angel, which was far from how Misha was in person. Misha was like sunshine, much like Jared, but a bit more goofy, willing to make fun of himself, so he fit in well. But Misha was also a flirt. Something Jared wasn't too happy about. And Jensen was fairly sure it was nothing serious, that Misha didn't actually _mean it_ , because he seemed to be the same with everyone.

“He was all over you,” Jared grumbled as they headed back to their trailer. Jensen rolled his eyes once more and scoffed.

“Okay, Misha isn't interested. You know he's married, right?” he asked, “to a woman,” Jensen added, looking over at Jared.

“He still flirts with you.”

“He flirts with you too, he flirts with everyone, pretty sure I saw him flirting with Barry earlier.” That got a small smile from Jared as they entered the trailer. 

“Do you like him?” Jared asked.

“We're not having this conversation, J-Rod,” Jensen called back over his shoulder as he opened the fridge for a bottle of water.

“So you do,” Jared concluded.

“You're being ridiculous,” Jensen told him seriously, throwing a bottle at him. Jared caught it.

“I hate that people don't know you're mine,” Jared complained. Some of their closer friends on set knew, but Misha was yet to be invited into that circle of trust. Maybe he wouldn't be for a while yet, not until they were certain he could keep quiet.

“Trust me, baby, if management cleared it I'd tattoo your name on my forehead,” Jensen teased. “Big black letters,” he continued. “Jared.” He referenced across his forehead and Jared rolled his eyes.

“I'm being serious, Jen,” Jared grumbled. Jensen laughed softly and took a sip of water. But Jared was now in a bad mood, clearly, because he was scowling at thin air. Jensen stepped forward and grabbed Jared's hand.

“Doesn't matter what people think or know...” Jensen started, guiding Jared's hand to his inner thigh. “I am yours.” Jared looked up into Jensen's eyes and prodded the sensitive bruise. Jensen's breath caught in his throat for a second.

“You're right,” Jared agreed, suddenly pulling away. “Let's go out for a drink tonight, invite Misha,” he suggested. Well he'd changed his tune.

-

Jared's intentions for their drinks out became clear pretty early on. He was trying to mark his territory, make sure Misha knew he was overstepping any boundaries with his inappropriate comments or teasing. When it was Misha's turn to go to the bar to buy the drinks, Jensen turned to Jared and glared.

“Wanna make it any more obvious? Maybe you could suck my dick under the table, just in case he hadn't quite figured it out yet.”

“I'll suck your dick under the table if you want me to,” Jared replied cooly.

“Jared,” Jensen warned. “We don't trust Misha yet.”

“Why not? You think he's such a great guy,” Jared dead panned, looking straight into Jensen's eyes.

“Okay, I'm ready to call this a night, why are you being like this?” Jensen grunted. “Green doesn't suit you.” Jensen had never known Jared to be like this. Even with Y/N, someone he had every right to feel jealous of, he was never like this. And then it dawned on Jensen like someone had finally changed the channel to Jared's brain and he could see right inside. Misha was a guy. Jensen liking Misha was a whole world different to Jensen liking Y/N, because she was female and everything Jared wasn't.

Misha returned to the table before Jensen could set Jared straight.

“So, Misha, you're married, right?” Jensen asked, deciding to move the attention onto Misha and his marriage, hoping to prove a silent point to Jared.

“Yeah, eight years now, met her in college actually,” Misha explained. Jensen nodded, taking a swig of his beer. “How long have you two been together?” Jensen near enough sprayed Misha in the face with the beer he'd spat from his mouth, as he spluttered and choked on what little he'd already swallowed.

“Sorry, what?” Jensen coughed. Jared was quiet, suspiciously quiet. Why wasn't Jared _saying anything?_ Right, he _wanted_ Misha to know they were together. He just knew he couldn't come out and say it. Silence spoke a thousand words in this situation.

“You two are a couple, right? I mean, you're obviously trying to keep it a secret and I respect that, I won't say anything, but it's kinda obvious.” Jensen was speechless.

“Two years,” Jared finally replied. Jensen shot Jared a look, but Jared ignored him.

“I see,” Misha finally replied. Jensen drank more beer and watched Misha's reaction carefully for any sign of discomfort, but he seemed completely relaxed about the whole thing. “So that girl, Y/N is it? She's for show?” Misha asked, directing his question at Jensen.

“Yeah, something like that,” Jensen nodded. Misha nodded along and took a sip of his drink.

“Well, your secret is safe with me,” he promised, looking between them. Jensen offered him a smile, praying to God that he wasn't lying.

-

Jared wasn't on set the next morning, and so Jensen took the opportunity to get Misha alone, inviting him to his trailer under the pretence of running lines.

“Hey man, I'm sorry about Jared last night. He's not usually like that,” Jensen blurted out, mid run through. Misha dropped his script and nodded.

“It's fine, I figured maybe he felt threatened. I know I'm full on sometimes,” Misha shrugged.

“Thanks for understanding by the way, and keeping our secret. Very few people know about us and we need to keep it that way. We've got contracts and – it's all very messy.” Misha nodded his understanding.

“Must be hard,” Misha sympathised.

“You couldn't imagine. And then there's my fake relationship with Y/N that's... complicated.” Jensen sighed and slumped down on the couch. He'd not had anyone other than Jared and Y/N to talk to about this with, and suddenly he could hear himself opening up to Misha before he'd even thought up the words. “Me and Y/N have great chemistry and if I was single... that's why they picked her, and I get it, it's gotta be believable, but it's just made it messy.”

Misha sat down next to Jensen and listened, so Jensen continued.

“Jared was really jealous for a while, but not the kind of jealous he was with you. I think that's different because she's a girl and he feels like it's justified that I might like her in that way, I don't really know. But he likes Y/N and he wants it to work so that it makes our relationship easier. And he told me to tell him when it got real, my feelings I mean. And then one day I stopped kidding myself and... It's stupid though, I mean, I love Jared more than anything, I'd never put anyone above him. So I don't know how I can feel like this about Y/N.” Jensen stopped, realising he'd blabbered on, really opened up and said some really personal things to someone he barely knew. “I'm so sorry.”

“Don't be,” Misha reassured him. “Let me tell you something not many people know about me,” he continued. “Several years ago now, me and my wife had a girlfriend.” Jensen's eyebrows raised.

“You both... you had a girlfriend?” Jensen repeated.

“Yeah.”

It was silent as Jensen wrapped his head around it. “So you had threesomes?” he finally asked.

“Well, yeah but it was more than that. It was a real relationship.”

“So wait... you were in a relationship with two women?”

“It's called polyamory,” Misha went on, “some people, like me and my wife, are polyamorous. It means that you're capable of being in love with more than one person at a time.” The word hit Jensen in the gut. Suddenly, it was like he'd been given permission to feel all these feelings for Y/N that he'd tried to bury for the sake of Jared. And not because Jared had necessarily told him to, but because Jensen felt like maybe the love he felt from Y/N was taking away from the love he had for Jared, discrediting his relationship with Jared somehow.

“So, there are people out there who just have multiple partners?” Jensen checked. Now he thought about it, he'd heard of men having multiple wives, he'd heard of open relationships, he'd just never really stopped to think about it, or consider that he might in fact have that ability.

“There's a lot of different ways that people are polyamorous. We were one relationship, but some people have separate relationships with separate people, some people have open relationships, it's whatever works for you and your partners.” Jensen just stared at Misha. He wanted to hug him and kiss him for even opening up this whole entire world, but something made him reserved. What if Misha was winding him up, or goading him for gossip. Or what if Jensen wasn't _polyamorous?_

“Why are you telling me this?” Jensen asked.

“I think you know why, Jensen,” Misha replied softly. Jensen swallowed hard. For the first time someone was allowing Jensen the idea of being with both Y/N and Jared at once, but he knew he couldn't even entertain that thought unless they were both on board. It would take a lot of navigating, a lot of negotiations, and maybe neither of them even wanted that at all.

For the first time since meeting Y/N, Jensen felt a sense of hope that things could work out, that maybe he wasn't completely fucking it all up for her or Jared or both of them. He, at the very least, now had an explanation for his feelings. Before Jensen could ask any more questions, or even thank Misha for shining a light on all of that stuff, his trailer door opened and Jared walked in.

“Hey Jen,” he called, his eyes instantly landing on Misha. “Oh hey,” he added slowly.

“We were just running lines,” Misha explained, picking up his script again. “Think about what I said, Jensen,” Misha added, getting up. “See you on set.” Jared looked suspicious as Misha passed him and left the trailer, closing the door behind him, and Jensen sighed.

“What was that about?” Jared asked.

“Oh, nothing, don't worry about it.” Jensen knew he had to figure some stuff out for himself before involving Jared, so it was best he kept quiet until then, even if Jared hadn't bought his blatant lie. 


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: polyamory, angst, h2hs, fluff, talk of threesomes, romance

Jared was off with Jensen again that morning, but Jensen was too in his own head to really notice until they were heading to set. He was tired, having spent most of the night on Google looking up everything he possibly could on polyamorous relationships, and reading as many real life stories as he could. The more he read, the more things slotted into place for him, and he was petrified of telling Jared all of this. What if Jared took this the wrong way? What if he didn’t believe in polyamory? But Jared already knew Jensen’s feelings for Y/N, at least, _some_ of his feelings for her. Jared probably wasn’t aware how much stronger they’d become, even though Jensen had barely seen her. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all. So maybe this news would come as a comfort to Jared, to know that Y/N was never going to replace him in Jensen’s mind. He loved them both, and anyway, if anyone came out on top for Jensen, it was Jared.

Jensen started to realise Jared wasn’t in a good mood with him in the car on the way to set for a day of filming. He glanced across at Jared and tried to make small talk, but Jared grunted something incoherent and looked out the window. And then, when Jensen thought back to why Jared might suddenly be upset with him, he realised that Jared had been off the night before too, turning over and going to sleep without saying goodnight. At first Jensen thought maybe he’d not heard it, too absorbed in the bright screen of his cell as he read as much as he could. But now he really thought about it, Jared just didn’t say it at all. So it wasn’t that Jared had a bad dream. He could be such a girl when it came to that kind of thing. Once he went a whole day without speaking to Jensen because he had a dream that Jensen cheated on him with a guy they’d met at a bar who was extra flirty.

  
  


In fact, Jared’s bad mood started before they’d even got home from shooting, it started as soon as Jared arrived on set, and then it all made perfect sense to Jensen. Jared had walked in on him and Misha in the trailer together, and Jensen had been so caught up in mixed emotions and thoughts that he hadn’t really given much reassurance that what they were doing was innocent, in fact, he probably looked guilty as sin getting caught with Misha in their trailer and offering Jared nothing more than “ _nothing don’t worry about it”,_ because _of course,_ Jared was now going to worry about it. The guy was already jealous enough of Misha. Jensen waited until they were alone in their trailer to address the situation.

“Jar, you know yesterday? When Misha was in here?” Jensen began cautiously.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” came Jared’s clipped response. Jensen drew a deep breath and continued regardless.

“It wasn’t what you think it was,” he offered. Jared turned around and narrowed his eyes at Jensen.

“No? So you weren’t hanging out alone with a guy who just _loves_ to flirt with you, and then you didn’t tell me not to worry about it, and say literally nothing else on the matter. And then you haven’t spent every minute since with a guilty look on your face?” So clearly, Jared did want to talk about it.

  
  


“Okay, firstly, we’ve been through this, Misha flirts with everyone, I can’t help that. He flirts with you, he flirts with crew, he flirts with the fucking wall. I never flirt back, you know I don’t,” Jensen argued. “We were running lines, like I told you,” he added.

“Bullshit, I ran those lines with you a hundred times, you didn’t need to come to the trailer to do it.” Jensen bit the insides of his lips and nodded his head.

“Okay,” he agreed. He had to come clean about his ulterior motive. “If you must know, I wanted to get Misha alone to apologise for the way you were the night before at the bar. How you were off with him and being all weird.” Jared scoffed and shook his head, turning his back on Jensen. “Jared, you _were_ being weird. But he was understanding, and he’s cool about it.”

“Oh I’m _so glad,_ ” Jared snapped sarcastically. Jensen clenched his jaw and tried to remain calm.

“I’m sorry that I’ve been acting weird. Misha said some things, and I’ve had to get my head around them before I came to you about it.”

“What did he say?” Jared probed.

“I’m polyamorous, Jared,” Jensen confessed. “It means – it means that -”

“You can be in love with multiple people,” Jared finished for him. “I knew it, you like him,” he grunted.

“Jared, for fuck’s sakes, I don’t like Misha that way, why have you got that in your head?!” Jensen sighed, exasperated.

  
  


“You just said yourself, you’re poly. You like Y/N, so why not like Misha too?” Jared shrugged. Jensen felt each word like a punch to his gut. He hated that Jared thought that way. He hated that Jared was that insecure about himself within their relationship, thanks to Jensen’s feelings for Y/N, that he would assume that Jensen could just like _anyone._ That wasn’t how this worked, and now he just wished he could take it back. Now Jared was going to be paranoid about everyone. Jensen was gearing up to tell Jared everything, to come clean the right way, hoping they could have a serious discussion about what happened next and what Jensen wanted from their relationship, but now seemed like the worst time for it.

“That’s – that’s not how it works, Jar,” Jensen argued weakly. “Just because I – I have the ability to love more than one person it doesn’t mean I love just anyone.” Jared remained quiet, so Jensen went on. “Maybe you don’t understand but – it’s only you and Y/N.”

“Until you meet someone else, right? And you expect me to be okay with them too?”

“No, Jared, no. I have you and you give me everything I could want in a man and then there’s Y/N and she could – she’s a girl. But there won’t be anyone else, I won’t let there be.”

  
  


“You told me you wouldn’t let things get real with Y/N but here we are,” Jared retorted and Jensen swallowed hard, unable to deny that. “So what? You want me to just _share_ you?” Jensen sighed and sat down heavily on the couch.

“I don’t know Jared, I don’t. I want -” he stopped himself. “I want you above anything or anyone else, I know that much. But I also can’t deny my feelings for Y/N, and I can’t just walk away, not when we’ve got this contract. I guess I was hoping for the freedom to explore those feelings when I’m with her,” Jensen confessed. Honesty was the best policy, he had to tell Jared everything, he needed Jared to understand completely. There was no point even entertaining this conversation otherwise. Jared’s shoulders seemed to drop just slightly and he drew a deep breath, sitting the other side of the couch and turning his body to face Jensen slightly.

“So you’re saying that we’d still be together, like normal, but when Y/N comes to visit – you’d be hers,” Jared spoke slowly, like he was trying to get his head around it.

“Maybe? I guess – I don’t know.” Jensen sighed heavily. He didn’t even know what he wanted any more, his head was so loud and busy.

  
  


“Could I have a girlfriend?” Jared pressed after a couple moments of silence.

“What?” Jensen asked weakly.

“If you get a girlfriend, do I get one? Maybe I want to be with a girl, let her give me all those things you can’t.” There was a bitterness to Jared’s voice and Jensen felt mocked, but he swallowed hard and nodded.

“Yes, if that’s what would make you happy,” he answered truthfully. Jared seemed surprised by Jensen’s reply, maybe he assumed Jensen would feel jealous or betrayed by the idea and hypocritically tell him _no._ “In most poly relationships I read that they have a primary partner and secondary partners,” Jensen went on, clearing his throat. “You’d always be my primary, Jared.” Jared looked at him for a long moment. “If I ever got married, I’d want it to be you, when I have kids, I want you to be the father. One day I’d still want to come out. I wouldn’t be sweeping you under the rug and moving on with Y/N, I promise you.” Jensen waited a moment, watching the hard lines of Jared’s face soften slightly as he considered Jensen’s words. “But, if things worked out with Y/N, then it would make sense, as she’s my _beard_ , that we did that kinda stuff together. But if - and it’s a big _if –_ If we ever came to that, we’d have an arrangement, something that worked for all of us. And maybe one day you will want the same thing with a girl and we’d work that out too. No matter what, Jared, you’ll come above everything.”

  
  


Before Jared could reply – if he was going to – someone was knocking on their trailer door and asking them to head over to makeup. Jared stood up abruptly, like he’d been waiting for an excuse to leave.

“I need to think about it, okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, take all the time you need.” Jared nodded his understanding and headed out of the trailer. Jensen rested his elbows on his knees and held his face in his hands for a moment. He just hoped Jared understood exactly where he was coming from, and this didn’t just make matters worse.

  
  


-

  
  


It was coming up to ten in the night when Jensen was finishing wrapping up filming for the day. Jared had found the perfect reasons to avoid Jensen, and didn’t come to set unless he was needed, but Jensen just kept telling himself that Jared needed space. Space was good. He obviously, more than anything, hoped that Jared came around, but he only wanted him to do that if he really was completely happy and comfortable with it. Jensen couldn’t ever go through with something like that if he thought Jared was only doing it to please him. As the darkness swallowed the lot, Jensen’s boots crunched across the gravel as he made his way to the car to go home.

“Jen!” He turned around, pleasantly surprised to find Jared jogging lightly to catch up with him. Jared was still in one of Sam’s plaid shirts and he had a fake cut across his cheek. “You’re leaving?” Jared pressed with a slight frown. Jensen offered him a shrug. What did he expect? It was ten pm, he’d finished filming, and Jared had clearly wanted space all day. Jared sighed and licked his lips, looking down at his shoes.

  
  


“I urm – I’ve thought about it,” Jared told him, glancing around the lot, but they were alone and it was fairly dark. He reached forward and grabbed Jensen’s hand, playing with his fingers. “If you want to explore your relationship with Y/N, then I’m okay with it.” Jensen’s fingers curled around Jared’s hand as he tried to look into Jared’s eyes for any hint of hesitation. “If that’s what you want to do,” Jared added, looking up at him. “Talk to Y/N and then the three of us will sit down and talk about it properly, maybe this weekend when she visits.”

“Are you sure?” Jensen pressed. “If you need longer-”

“I’m sure, Jensen,” Jared interrupted, nodding his head.

“Okay, then I’ll talk to Y/N,” Jensen agreed, licking his lips and feeling a weird mixture of nerves and excitement slosh around his stomach. “Thank you Jared.” Jared glanced around them quickly again, before kissing Jensen very quickly and very softly on the lips.

“I’ll see you at home. I love you,” he murmured.

“Love you too, Jared, more than anything.”

-

Jensen felt sick as he stared at Y/N’s number on his phone screen. But he kept telling himself that if anyone was ever going to be okay with this, it was her. She was so open about these things, and she’d even said several times about being the third wheel. Jensen had not been shy telling her how he put Jared first either – and he was going to stress that point again tonight. But it was still an anxious feeling to be talking so openly about how he felt, to be asking something of her that was so unconventional. He knew that she liked him, but maybe she wouldn’t be comfortable with an arrangement like that. There was only one way to find out, and he pressed _call_ before he could change his mind.

  
  


Y/N answered after only a few rings, “hello, stranger.”

“Hey you, how are you?” Jensen asked, trying to keep the nerves out of his voice.

“I’m good thanks, I’m bored out of my mind, trying to find work, I’ve got an audition Friday before I fly to you, actually,” she told him.

“Oh, that’s good! What’s it for?”

“Some action movie – I doubt I’ll get it, I can’t do all that fighting stuff. Anyway – why did you call?”

“Oh right -” Jensen’s mouth suddenly felt dry and he grabbed his bottle of beer and took a quick swig. “I’ve been, urm, thinking recently,” he started, picking at the label on his bottle. “I’ve realised that I’m polyamorous,” he confessed quickly. “It’s where-”

“I know what polyamorous means, Jen,” she giggled. Was he really the only one that had been oblivious to it?

“Right,” Jensen replied awkwardly.

“I could’ve told you that myself, didn’t realise you didn’t know.” Jensen felt himself blush and cleared his throat.

“Why didn’t you ever… doesn’t matter,” he shook his head. He wanted to know why she’d never suggested what he was about to, but maybe she never had because it wasn’t something she wanted. This was a bad idea.

  
  


“I’ve been talking to Jared, and well, Jared’s open to me urm – if you were interested, I mean – he’d be okay if we were to not be so fake,” Jensen rambled. He swallowed hard, his heart thudding in his chest and it felt like he’d waited _hours_ in silence for her to finally reply.

“I’d like that, Jensen,” she confessed.

“You would?” he asked on an out breath. She giggled softly.

“Yeah, I thought I’d made it pretty clear I liked you,” she joked.

“I just thought you wouldn’t want to – because of Jared, you know?”

“Well, I assumed you were in a closed relationship, that’s why I never said anything, and I didn’t want to overstep. But if you’re saying Jared is okay with it…”

“Yeah, he said he was. I hope so,” Jensen told her, honestly. “But Y/N, you know that Jared is still going to be my priority? I know this sounds harsh but he’d come before you, always. I just needed to reiterate that.”

“I know Jen, so you keep telling me. That’s okay with me.”

  
  


Jensen was baffled that it would be okay with her, but maybe that’s what was so special about Y/N, she’d always just been so accepting of Jensen and who he was regardless of anything. And maybe that’s why this was going to work – at least Jensen hoped - _prayed -_ it worked. He wanted nothing more. Something was telling him that this was right.

“Let’s talk about it properly on the weekend, yeah?” she prompted.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” Jensen agreed, glad everyone was on the same page.

“Okay, night Jen,” she yawned, and Jensen suddenly realised how late it was.

“Night, sweetheart, sleep well.”

“You too, Jen.”

-

The weekend crept up slowly, probably because Jensen was anxious and excited to see Y/N, and get the three of them together to discuss their new arrangement. Much to the press’ delight, he went to pick Y/N up from the airport by himself, whilst Jared did some filming that afternoon, and had no issues kissing her hello for them to take photos of. He took her luggage in one hand and held her hand in the other as he walked her towards the car, and they caught up, discussing her audition that morning that she claimed _she_ _was never gonna get but at least she had fun._ They were too busy catching up to let things get awkward, and it wasn’t until Jensen was pulling up at his and Jared’s apartment that the nerves started to settle in. Having Jared and Y/N together again, not only for the first time after their threesome, but to discuss what they needed to, was going to be so _weird._ Jensen got Y/N’s luggage and took it into the apartment for her, letting her look around as he offered her a coffee.

“It’s nice here,” she noted. “So you and Jared live here whilst you’re filming?” she checked.

“Yeah, about eight or nine months of the year,” Jensen nodded.

  
  


The front door opened and Jared came in, smiling nervously at Y/N when he spotted her.

“Hey, Y/N, how was your flight?” he asked politely.

“Fine thanks, how was filming?”

“Yeah fine,” he nodded. He made his way over to Jensen and grabbed a mug, putting it next to the two Jensen had out for him and Y/N.

“Hey baby,” Jensen smiled, kissing Jared softly. Jared seemed a little taken aback that Jensen was kissing him, but promptly returned it.

“So let’s just get this out of the way, yeah?” Y/N asked, tilting her head to the side as Jensen poured their coffees.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea,” Jared agreed and Jensen nodded.

“Okay, let’s sit down.”

  
  


It was quiet and awkward between the three of them at first, and as this was all because of Jensen in the first place, he figured he should speak first, so he cleared his throat.

“So as I’ve already told you both, my primary partner would be Jared,” he reiterated once more, just so Jared knew Y/N was aware, and just so Y/N could hear it again. Y/N smiled and nodded in agreement. “I guess that as me and Y/N have to fake a relationship for the public anyway, I figured that if that stuff wasn’t so fake, we could just see what happens?” he offered.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Y/N agreed.

“Jar?” Jensen prompted.

“Yeah that makes sense. So I thought about it too, and I figured that I’ll be spending the most time with you because we live together and we’re filming right now, so maybe whenever Y/N visits, I could just give you both some space,” Jared offered.

  
  


Jensen was pleased to hear that Jared had thought about it, and was bringing a suggestion to the table.

“It’s only fair, right?” Jared pressed when no one said anything.

“Yeah, that sounds really good,” Jensen agreed and Y/N smiled wider.

“So urm – what about sex?” Y/N asked, she didn’t seem that embarrassed by the question, but then she had recently been pretty damn intimate with the both of them, so maybe they were over that.

“Now?” Jared smirked, clearly trying to break any tension. Everyone chuckled. “I’ve assumed sex is part of the whole relationship thing,” he clarified. “As for the threesomes…” he trailed off. Jensen knew he played no part in this decision making, why wouldn’t he want to have sex with both of them? But that was on them.

“I mean, I’m down sometimes, but just so we’re clear,” she cleared her throat, “no offence, Jared, but it would just be sexual between us, nothing more,” Y/N explained.

Jared’s eyebrows raised, “perfectly fine with me,” he agreed. “I don’t… yeah just sexual,” he nodded quickly. “If that’s okay with you,” he turned to Jensen. Jensen looked between them and smiled softly. It was strange to him that all of this was really happening, that he was getting everything he’d ever wanted.

  
  


“Not all the time,” Jensen clarified, “but I wouldn’t say no on occasion,” he shrugged, trying to keep the stupid grin off of his face. Y/N giggled and Jared smirked.

“Okay, so I guess we’re doing this,” Jared nodded. Jensen reached out and grabbed Jared’s hand, squeezing it tightly and Jared squeezed back. Jensen then reached across for Y/N’s smaller, softer hand, and held that in his other hand.

“Guess we don’t have to fake it any more.”


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: fluff, anxiety, talk of polyamory, new relationship, kissing, fingering, p in v, orgasms

Jensen drummed his thumb nervously on the steering wheel as he pulled up outside arrivals and ducked his head to look towards the airport. He chewed his bottom lip and drew a deep breath. It was the first time seeing Y/N since she visited a couple of weekends before and they'd decided to try the new relationship arrangement. They had agreed to go slow that weekend, and nothing had really happened beyond taking photographs and making sure they had a few public outings to carry on what was no longer going to be a ruse. Since he'd dropped her to the airport and kissed her goodbye – which he'd told himself was mainly for the cameras, or he'd have been too nervous – they'd text daily. It had been flirty at first, and sometimes even a little risqué, but they'd also gotten to know each other on a deeper level, and Jensen only liked her more the more he learned about her. At first he thought it might've been weird or even difficult to really be that way with her, especially with Jared around, but not once had it been odd or made him feel guilty – particularly as he didn't have to lie to Jared, or hide his feelings any more. 

He turned off his engine and wiped his slightly clammy palms on his jeans, before getting out of the car and heading into the arrivals lounge. He smoothed down the collar to his denim shirt and waited patiently, feeling the butterflies dance around his stomach. It was silly, really. He'd already done everything with her, already acted like her boyfriend on and off camera, but there was something different about it now, because it was undeniably real, and he'd not done the whole dating thing in years. Even with Jared, they just grew closer and closer until one day, they were just a couple going steady. Jensen didn't have time to get nervous around Jared. 

Each second seemed to pass slowly as he stood and waited for Y/N to walk through the gates. Maybe he should've got a sign. And did he kiss her? Did he hold her hand and take her bags like last time? Last time he didn't think about it, he didn't stand there and overthink every possible thing he could or should do. Last time he knew he was acting for the cameras, he knew he had to make it seem natural and effortless. He knew that was still the case, of course, as far as the public were concerned they were past the whole nervous early stage, so it would seem weird if he didn't kiss her or hold her hand or take her luggage. He was just overthinking it because this time it would really mean something, and Y/N would know it too. 

A smile instantly lit up Jensen's face as Y/N walked through the terminal and spotted him. He started towards her, meeting her half way, and she placed her suitcase next to her as he wrapped his one arm around her waist and pulled her in, his other coming up to cup her face and he kissed her. He didn't think on it too long, he just kissed her. He felt Y/N smile wide into the kiss, a genuine smile that made his insides flip, and then she kissed back, her hand going to the back of his head, her nails gently scraping through the short hair at the nape of his neck. It was different this time. Even different to the time with Jared, or the time in his hotel room in New York. This time there was no guilt, there was no holding back. It was just all there on his lips as he kissed her. 

“Hey,” he breathed when he finally pulled away. “How was your flight?” 

“Good,” she smiled, nodding gently as Jensen took her case and then clasped her hand. “There was a guy in the seat opposite me on the aisle and he just constantly laughed at whatever he was watching. Nothing is _that funny_ for three hours straight,” Y/N complained as they got to the car. Jensen chuckled and loaded her bags into the trunk. 

“Well at least it wasn't a crying baby,” Jensen noted.

-

Jensen unloaded the trunk and carried Y/N's luggage inside for her. 

“So, Jared has gone to visit his parents for the weekend so it's just us,” Jensen explained, setting her bags down by the hallway. 

“Wow, he took the whole giving us space thing seriously, huh?” Y/N giggled. 

Jensen smirked. “I mean, he probably won't do that every time, but as it's the first proper weekend that urm – so anyway, we've got two bedrooms here as you know so urm...” He scratched the back of his neck. Y/N smirked, like she knew what he was trying to ask but she wasn't going to actually answer him until he came out and said the words. “So, why don't I get us drinks and you put your bags in whatever room you want to stay in,” Jensen worded carefully, kicking himself mentally for not just being a fucking man and asking her outright if she wanted to share his bed with him or not. Y/N giggled again and nodded her head in understanding, and Jensen headed straight for the kitchen before he could embarrass himself any further. 

Y/N came into the kitchen a few minutes later. 

“So what are our plans?” she asked, biting her bottom lip. Jensen stared at her mouth for a second, and noticed the way that her lips curled in the corners. She knew exactly what she was doing. 

“Well, urm – I thought we could -” Jensen felt flustered as she continued to roll her bottom lip along her teeth over and over - and _fuck_. “Sight see,” Jensen cleared his throat, “you said you've not seen much of Vancouver,” he pointed out. 

“Sounds good to me,” she agreed, smiling and finally letting her lip go. Jensen swallowed and handed her her coffee. 

“I'm just gonna freshen up then we can head out if you're feeling up for it?” he checked. 

“Yeah, that'd be great,” she nodded. 

“Okay, I'll be right back, make yourself at home.” 

Besides making sure he looked and smelled his best, Jensen's main reason for freshening up was to see which room Y/N had put her things in, and as he opened his bedroom door, he saw her suitcase sat at the foot of the bed and smiled widely to himself. But then he thought about what that meant and his smile vanished and was replaced with nerves again. God, this was really happening. He was going to be sleeping with Y/N. That had never happened before. There was something so intimate about sleeping with someone, actually _sleeping_ with them. And then Jensen looked at the bed he shared with Jared and something felt wrong about it. Jared hadn't specifically said anything about Y/N not staying in their bed, in fact, he'd helped Jensen change the sheets that morning, but it just felt wrong somehow. There was a perfectly nice, big bed in the other bedroom. Maybe they were better staying there instead. Jensen grabbed Y/N's things and quickly moved them to the other room. When he stepped back into the living room he smiled.

“Okay, I'm ready.” 

When they got back from their day out together, they decided to get ready for dinner in a fancy restaurant in town. 

“I moved your stuff into the other room,” Jensen told her before she could discover it for herself. She kept the smile on her face and nodded. 

“That's fine, Jensen, I understand.” She didn't let him explain himself as she let herself into the spare room and closed the door behind her. She didn't seem upset that he'd moved her, and Jensen assumed she was being her same understanding self. Jensen realised as he got changed into something a little smarter that he couldn't have done this with anyone but Jared and Y/N. Jared knew him better than he knew himself, they could have conversations without words, and every little thing with Jared was completely and utterly effortless. And then Y/N was understanding and sweet, and had never once pushed him or put herself or her feelings before Jensen. He really believed her when she said that she didn't want to get between him and Jared, which was why he trusted this new arrangement to work. 

Y/N somehow looked even more beautiful than ever. She'd done her hair and makeup beautifully, more beautiful than Jensen had ever seen it before, and the dress she was wearing – black with straps that hugged all the right places – just looked perfect on her. He was a little speechless when she stepped out of the spare room and announced she was ready to go. He knew he was going to be seeing her in fancy dresses and glamorous makeup for the premiers and any other event that they'd eventually be invited to together as a couple, but something told Jensen that the way she looked tonight would forever be one of his favourite ways to remember her. 

Dinner was a flow of laughter and heartfelt conversations and non stop chatter as they sipped wine and ate delicious food. Jensen's cheeks hurt by the time they were finished, and they walked along the Waterfront and continued to talk as they let their food settle. Jensen gave Y/N his jacket once the temperature started to drop a little, and they held hands the whole time. Something about being with Y/N felt so pure, there was something so magical about the beginning of something that you knew was going to be meaningful in some way to you. Jensen couldn't put his finger on how he knew Y/N was going to change his life in one way or another, but it was very much how he felt about Jared the first time Jensen ever met him. 

The car ride back to the apartment was quiet, but it wasn't awkward like Jensen had feared the silences might have been. It was just comfortable. Once inside, Y/N eagerly stepped out of her heels and Jensen poured them both some whisky, whilst they sat on the couch and chatted some more. 

“It's getting late, I had a long day,” Y/N yawned, moving to get up. Jensen immediately took her glass from her so she could move more freely, and stood up too, placing the glasses down on the side. 

“Yeah, it is late,” he agreed. He walked with Y/N down the hallway towards the bedroom and she stopped outside the door, turning to face him. 

“I had a really good day, Jensen,” she told him, smiling softly. 

“Me too,” he agreed. 

“I'm so glad we're giving this a try.” She leaned forward and kissed him, gently at first and Jensen reached up to hook a finger under her chin as he began to deepen the kiss just slightly. When she pulled away she looked down at her feet. 

“Well, night,” she whispered, biting her bottom lip.

There was just enough alcohol in Jensen's system that he didn't feel shy or nervous about what blurted out of his mouth. 

“You didn't think you were sleeping alone, did you?” Jensen pressed. She looked up at him with wider eyes. 

“You moved my bags,” she started, frowning slightly. 

“I just figured that we'd have a bedroom that was separate to the one I share with Jared,” Jensen explained, now moving his hand to cup the side of her face. 

“Oh,” she replied quietly, biting on her bottom lip again. 

“That's if you're okay with me staying with you,” he added, his eyes drifting down to her mouth and staying there. “And if you keep biting your bottom lip like that, sweetheart...” he groaned softly, his fingers curling to dig into the space behind her ears ever so gently. 

Y/N leaned in and kissed him again, more passionately this time, and reached up to start popping the buttons open on his shirt. Jensen reached for the door and pushed it open wider as they stepped into the room without breaking their kiss. Y/N pushed Jensen's shirt down his arms and Jensen shrugged it to the floor quickly before reaching to find her zipper and tug it down gently. _They'd done all this before_ Jensen told himself as he hooked his fingers into the thin straps of her dress and pushed them down the curve of her shoulders. He'd undressed her and kissed her and seen her naked before. But it all felt so different. He cupped her breast as soon as it was exposed, thanks to the dress no longer hugging her frame and he heard the fabric land in a puddle at her feet. She stepped out of it, not breaking their kiss for anything, and ran her fingers down his chest, tugging on his belt and getting inside his slacks with ease. Jensen wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted off her feet like she weighed nothing, dropping her down on the bed. 

He leaned over her as her fingers hooked into his slacks and pushed them down his legs. Jensen kissed down her neck, across her collarbone and between her breasts as her back arched off of the bed and she whimpered, bringing her hands up to his shoulders. Kicking his slacks off the rest of the way, Jensen sat back on his heels, smoothing his hands down Y/N's soft skin to her hips, gripping her panties and pulling them down her legs slowly. His eyes slowly dragged over every inch of her, taking it all in as much as possible, as she looked up at him, chest heaving. 

“Never got to appreciate it before,” he told her softly. She blushed and bit her bottom lip again, which spurred Jensen back into action as he pulled her panties further down her legs and then helped her take them off completely. He leaned over her and kissed her again, his hand trailing up the inside of her thigh as his fingers sought out warm, wet skin. She whimpered as she bucked her hips up into his touch, and he slowly slipped one finger inside, curling it upwards before pulling back and adding a second. 

Her one hand flew to above her head, gripping the bed sheets tightly, and the other reached for the now obvious lump in his boxer shorts. She rubbed over it softly at first, but soon tightened her grip and moved her hand faster, before pushing her hand under the fabric. She wrapped her hand around him and continued working her hand up and down his throbbing length, as Jensen curled his fingers and rubbed in circles at that sweet spot inside her. This had her moaning louder, gripping him harder. 

“Fuck Jen,” she whimpered. She sat up slightly, to get closer to him and eagerly tried to get his boxers down. “Need you,” she gasped. Jensen smirked against her lips. 

“I can feel,” he teased. 

“Jen, please,” she whined. Jensen kissed her passionately again, removing his fingers to help her push his boxers down so he could kick them off. He climbed in between her legs and gripped her thigh, lifting it to wrap it around his waist. 

Jensen stopped, pressing his forehead to Y/N's as he reached between them and lined himself up, rubbing the tip through her slick. Y/N's fingers gripped at his biceps and she seemed to be holding her breath. Jensen kissed her again as he pushed forward. He'd forgotten how good she felt – how different she was to Jared, but it was good – better than good – it was perfect. The way her leg wrapped around his waist meant he got deeper, and his eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of her clenched around him like that. 

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned, deep in his throat. He started to thrust, shallow and slow at first until he knew Y/N was definitely used to it, and then picked up the speed and vigour until the sound of their hips meeting was filling the silences between their gasps and moans. 

“Oh shit, Jensen,” Y/N gasped, digging her nails into his biceps. Jensen reached down between them and rubbed in small circles over her clit, only feeling her clamp down harder around him. She started to cuss, barely making any noise, but he could hear the clicking of the Cs and Ks as she chanted _fuck_ under her breath repeatedly. 

Y/N finally came undone around him, clenching around him so tightly he couldn't move, it barely felt like he could breathe. She looked so beautiful strung out for him like that. Shit – she was perfect. He remembered feeling the exact same way about Jared when they first started fucking – Jensen was still getting used to the faces he'd pull, the sounds he'd make, and for months he found himself in awe of the man below him every time they fucked. Jensen had no doubt that Y/N would be no different. Once she'd come down from her high, Jensen removed his hand and gripped her hips, sitting back on his heels and lifting her off of the bed slightly. He began to fuck her a little harder and faster, watching her breasts bounce with the force, as he chased his own release and gasped and groaned when he fell off of that edge. His whole body shook as his eyes closed, and he panted heavily, coming down from his high, crashing down over her, but being careful not to crush her as he rolled to her side and wrapped an arm around her middle. 

“Wow,” she gasped out, looking across at him and smiling tiredly. 

“Yeah, I'd have to agree,” Jensen smirked. 

Y/N rolled onto her side and glanced down his body. Her fingers reached and brushed over Jared's mark. She smiled softly to herself as she traced the lines and Jensen watched her carefully for any hints of jealousy or sadness, but there was nothing of the sort. 

“He's got one too,” he commented quietly. “We've had them a few months now.”

“That's commitment,” she chuckled. “I like it.” He grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss her knuckles. She just smiled at him, her face glowing. He felt so content just laying there with her, thinking about all the possibilities of their relationship. And then he thought of Jared and realised how lucky he was to have someone like him, so supportive and understanding, and Jensen felt like the luckiest man alive. 

“Well,” Jensen sighed, propping himself on his elbow as he looked down at her, “guess we're definitely not faking it any more, sweetheart,” he smirked, before kissing her softly.


	21. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part Tags: fluff, crackish, talk of marriage and pregnancy, teasing, flirting, poly relationships, sexual tension, gay sex, m/m, blowjobs, mentions of public sex, mentions of pegging, anal, use of sex toys in public, fluffy ending
> 
> A/Ns: Well this was nothing like I set out to write, but apparently this is the story my characters wanted to tell. This fic consumed me and I couldn’t break away to write a single other thing the entire time. Hope you loved it too <3

_**Five Years Later** _

"It's so nice to be back here. Our first con of the year is always special," Jensen announced down the mic. There were cheers and applause from the audience as he tried to look out at faces beyond the lighting. 

"We go straight to Vancouver from here to start filming season nine," Jared added. There was more cheering and applause. "It's nice because we have our hiatus, and then we come here and we have a great weekend and then it's like okay work mode, get to Vancouver, film the season," Jared went on.

"And as you know me and Jared have nothing to do with each other outside of the show. So I actually have to hang out with him again now," Jensen added, deadpan. The audience laughed and Jared smirked over at Jensen for a moment. "We finish filming a season and I'm like 'bye Jared, see you in three months' and then _nothing_ until this," Jensen continued, laughing himself now. "Nah, I'm kidding. I can't get rid of him, he moved two minutes down my road so he could bother me whenever he wants. He just shows up at random times of the day to hang out without any kind of warning. Like, ‘oh hey Jared, I was about to shower but sure, come in’ he doesn’t know what personal space is."

"I don't think Y/N appreciated that at first," Jared interjected. 

"She's just gotten used to it now. When I met Y/N I warned her that me and Jared were like a package." Jared looked across at Jensen with a fond smile and a slight blush on his cheeks. Jensen continued, smiling slightly himself, "Jared turns up at the door and she's like _okay guess I've lost my husband for the rest of the day_." 

"Hey, she knew the deal before she married you. Not my fault." Jared held his hands up and Jensen laughed. 

"We didn't have to tell Zowie the deal because pretty much as soon as Jared met her, Y/N was like _they're inseparable don't even bother trying_." 

Jared leaned in close to Jensen, pressing his mouth to his ear and putting his hand up as cover. 

"Management are going to kill you."

"Oh c'mon nothing more fun than a telling off from Ashley after a con, it's tradition," Jensen whispered back. Jared smirked and pulled away. 

"Honestly, Jared spends more time at my house than in his own," Jensen continued.

"Yeah I think Zowie thought Y/N was joking or exaggerating, but she soon learned," Jared added. "She still married me though," he said, with a nonchalant shrug but a smug expression. 

"She'd already signed the deal, it was too late," Jensen joked. Jared looked at him and laughed in disbelief. Jensen tried to brush it off, but he knew exactly what Jared was thinking - they were in _big_ trouble. Ashley might not even wait until the end of con. 

Jensen let Jared talk about Zowie for a bit, a smooth cover up for what Jensen had said as Jared gushed over her and told some story of a date they'd been on. There was a time when it would make a jealousy niggle in the base of Jensen's stomach to hear Jared so smitten about someone else, especially publicly, but he realised it was incredibly hypocritical of him to feel like that. Afterall, what Jared had with Zowie was exactly what he had with Y/N. Their arrangement hadn't changed much over the years, just adapted to include an extra person. The two of them were still very much a couple whilst working away and living in Vancouver together, but when their wives would visit, or the boys would go home, they were all about the girls. They still hung out - _a lot_ \- usually as a foursome, but whilst home, their priorities were the girls now more than ever. Luckily, both girls had always been very supportive and accepting of their relationship, and although contractually they were "beards" it very much wasn't the case for either of them anymore. Thinking about it, it had worked out perfectly. 

Because people saw the elaborate weddings with the genuine happy smiles and the real romance, but what they hadn't seen was Jared and Jensen's own private ceremony, with the very select few guests as they also "got married". And Jensen twirled his wedding ring around his finger as he thought about it fondly. He loved nothing more than slipping into his ring from Jared at the beginning of filming season, it was always so symbolic to him. As soon as that ring was on his finger he was Jared's. It was similar to the ring from Y/N, of course, just for the people with the keen eye, but the inscriptions were different. 

But things were changing now, and that made Jensen nervous yet excited. Once the two of them had begun "settling down" with the girls they'd agreed to buy separate houses, and it also gave them a better distinction between their relationships. And that was important now more than ever. 

"So she's already blaming me for it," Jared laughed. Jensen smirked, catching the tail end of Jared's little speech about his wife, and lifted the mic to his mouth. 

"You're the one that put it in there." Jared tipped his head back and laughed heartily. 

" _It?_ That's my unborn child," Jared argued. The audience laughed along. 

"Yeah, you wait until she's as pregnant as Y/N then she'll be cursing you," Jensen scoffed. "Told you he can't do anything without me." The news about Jared and Zowie’s pregnancy hadn't been public for long, so it was a given that people would want to talk about it and that they'd get questions. The world found out about Y/N being pregnant at the last con before their hiatus, when Jensen accidentally let slip. Y/N didn't forgive him for a week, though he blamed pregnancy hormones for part of it. Deciding to start their families was something both of them were eager to do. They'd talked about how they were going to do it over and over, and eventually settled on the idea that they'd just have their children close together, bringing them up as one big family. They didn't want to confuse the kids with the intricacies of their relationships, so had decided that conversation would be kept until they were old enough to understand that their Daddy and their Uncle weren't just close friends, but lovers, whilst still loving their mommies very much. It was a lot for younger kids to grasp, so it was better this way. 

-

The remainder of the day went well, there was a lot of laughter and flirting between the boys as always, and their panel with Misha wasn't much better. He was still a notorious flirt. By the end of it all Jensen’s cheeks were hurting, and he was happy to relax in the bar for one last quiet drink before bed. He loved his little family from the show, as time went on more and more of the cast started to learn about his real relationship with Jared, and so Jensen felt increasingly comfortable around them, knowing he didn’t have to hide anything. No one had ever judged them for the way they’d chosen to live their lives, regardless of how unconventional it might be. Jensen loved spending time with them, especially at cons, but it was no secret to anyone that he and Jared were always eager to call it a night early on the first night. They both must’ve been making it obvious how much they were looking forward to leaving, because Rich eventually told them to get outta there. 

The elevator ride to their floor was quiet as they leaned on opposite sides and just stared at each other, eyes full of lust and pent up tension they’d barely had any time to release whilst being home with the girls. Jensen’s eyes dragged over Jared’s slender body, his long legs and back up, and he suddenly grew impatient. The second doors pinged open Jensen was stepping out, heading towards the room with nothing stopping him. He slotted the card in the door and opened it, Jared following behind. Jared shouldn’t have been surprised when Jensen gripped his shirt and pinned him up against the wall, but he gasped nonetheless. Jensen was quick to kiss it down, licking into Jared’s mouth hungrily as he started to frantically unbuckle his belt. 

“Fuck I’ve missed you,” Jensen growled. The first time in a while was always messy and chaotic, all hands and teeth and tongues, raw and primal and needy. They had nine months ahead of them for the rest of it. But both of them needed it just like this, just this once. When Jensen pulled back, Jared’s lips were red and swollen and his chest was heaving. Jared reached for Jensen’s own belt but Jensen swatted his hands away and continued to unbutton Jared’s jeans. 

“Please Jen, let me… I need to - missed you - please,” Jared begged desperately, reaching for Jensen’s belt again. “Let me taste.” Jensen was painfully hard behind his jeans, knowing he wasn’t gonna be able to make this last long if Jared kept looking at him like that, if the desperation in his hazel eyes was any indication of what he had up his sleeve if Jensen let him down there. But how could he deny that? He’d missed Jared just as much, the feel of him, the taste - he wanted to give Jared what he wanted. Jensen stepped back and gripped Jared’s wrist, guiding them both through the large double doors and into the bedroom. He let go, leaving Jared in the doorway and stood at the foot of the bed. Jared watched intently as Jensen unbuttoned his plaid shirt and shrugged it off, before finishing what work Jared had started on unbuckling his belt. Jensen shoved his jeans down his legs with little care for undoing them the whole way, his boxers going with them, and revealed his hard length. 

Jared licked his lips and swallowed hard, and a glance down Jared’s body told Jensen that he was just as hard, the bulge poking through the open fly of Jared’s jeans was unmissable. Jensen sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned Jared over with his fingers. As Jared approached he ripped his shirt over his head and threw it to the floor, less than gracefully stepping out of his jeans until he was in nothing but his boxers. He dropped to his knees at Jensen’s feet and ran his hands up his legs, reaching to wrap his hand around Jensen’s erection. Jensen leaned back on his elbows, staring down at Jared and trapping his bottom lip between his teeth as Jared slowly brought the tip towards his mouth. Jensen’s fairly sure the noise that left his mouth wasn’t human as he felt Jared’s warm lips suck him down, deeper and deeper until Jared was gagging. Jensen clenched his thighs and resisted the urge to thrust up into Jared’s mouth. Jared knew what he was doing, and it wasn’t long until his throat had warmed up enough that he could take him deeper. Jensen’s jaw tightened as he gripped at the back of Jared’s hair and hissed. Jared looked up at him with misty eyes, foggy with arousal, and it wasn’t the first time he’d looked at Jensen that way today, Jensen had noticed. 

Jared was moaning himself, as he bobbed his head and his other hand disappeared to between his legs where Jensen could only assume he was touching himself. But fuck, that needed to be his hand. Jensen pulled Jared off of him.

“Get up, baby,” he growled. Jared clambered to his feet and Jensen stood up, spinning them around and shoving Jared back onto the bed. Jared whimpered, his cock twitching behind his boxers and Jensen reached to rub over the lump as Jared’s face twisted with pleasure. Jensen smirked as he gripped the waistband of Jared’s boxers, and Jared smirked back, some mischievous twinkle in his eye. As Jensen removed Jared’s boxers, Jared’s cock sprung free and slapped against his stomach, but that wasn’t what had caught Jensen’s eye. The black plug sat flush against Jared’s ass had.

“Oh you naughty boy, how long has this been in?” Jensen pried, pressing against it. Jared whimpered, his cock pulsing again. 

“Since the airport,” he admitted with those misty eyes again. Jensen suddenly realised that all those times Jared jerked or moved and his eyes glazed over that day, that it wasn’t some coincidence, or Jensen’s hopeful imagination, it was because of the plug. Jensen loved that look on Jared’s face, knowing he’d be making it tomorrow, and not because of the plug this time, but because of the smart in his ass once Jensen was through with him tonight, and tomorrow morning if they have time before breakfast. Jensen reached for the plug and slowly pulled it out, watching Jared’s hole stretch to release the toy and then contract a little as the plug tapered off. 

“The big one too,” Jensen noted, a smirk deep on his lips. 

“Means I’m ready for you,” Jared panted. 

“Yes you fucking are, baby,” Jensen growled. Jared knew the drill anyway, and reached for the toiletries bag on Jensen’s nightstand, pulling out the bottle of lube and handing it to Jensen. Jensen knew he wouldn’t need much, the toy was slick with lube already, so he knew Jared was well prepared. He worked a small amount over his length and then gripped the backs of Jared’s knees, folding his legs back a little. Jared held them there himself as Jensen gripped the base of his cock and guided it towards Jared’s warm hole. 

“Been a while since you let someone in here? Or did you let Zowie fuck you again?” Jensen teased with a knowing smirk. Jared fell flat on his back and cursed under his breath as Jensen teased his hole. Jared was actually fairly dominant when it came to women, but it hadn’t stopped him and Zowie exploring ways for her to give him what he was clearly craving sometimes. Jensen thought he’d be jealous of the idea, but it had only turned him on, calling Jared _his little cockslut who just can’t help taking it so well_. Even when Jared could fuck, sometimes he just needed to be fucked. And the idea of Jared craving Jensen _that much_ that he’d let his wife try and scratch that itch, before ultimately turning up at Jensen’s door begging him to do it properly even when it wasn't _their time_ still made Jensen’s cock throb to this day. 

Jensen slowly slipped inside and Jared grumbled, rolling his hips down, eager to take more of Jensen, as much as he could. 

“Fuck baby, you really are desperate, huh?” Jensen chuckled, reaching up to wrap his hand around Jared’s weeping cock as it dribbled precum onto his stomach. Jensen already knew he wasn’t going to last long. Jared always felt so different to Y/N, enough that Jensen would crave them both separately, but recently, with Y/N’s pregnancy, sex had been rationed as she was having a hard time feeling comfortable, so Jensen was already pent up. He gripped Jared’s legs again so Jared didn’t have to, keeping them out of his way as he started to thrust. “Think you should wear that plug tomorrow too. All the way through photo ops, to every panel, keep that asshole nice and full until I’m ready to use it. Maybe we can have a quickie in a store closet again.” Jared was moaning loudly, writhing beneath Jensen and clenching around him rhythmically. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Ye-yeah, fuck Jen,” Jared gasped for air. Jensen groaned loudly, the very idea only turned him on too. Their little secret, just like their entire relationship. It was a secret Jensen used to begrudge keeping - and sometimes he still did - but he also loved that what they had was just theirs, no one else’s. None of their fans knew for sure, and maybe they never would. Not even the cast, or management or even their wives knew everything, didn’t know the way Jensen fucked Jared, the way they could make each other feel. No one else shared in their most vulnerable, intimate moments together. That was all theirs. 

“Shit,” Jensen cursed, his climax catching him by surprise as he came hard inside Jared. Jared was still throbbing in Jensen’s palm and so, once he’d caught his breath, Jensen pulled out and lowered his face to Jared’s cock. Jensen sucked him down hard, twisting and tugging with his hand and reaching to let his fingers glide through his own cum that was leaking out of Jared’s hole. Jared started writhing beneath him, bucking his hips up and gripping at Jensen’s head. 

“Fuck, right there, don’t stop baby - gonna - gonna…” Jared choked on his words, cumming hot and salty in the back of Jensen’s throat. Jensen swallowed it all and kissed his way up Jared’s torso and neck to his lips before crashing down alongside Jared and trying to catch his breath. Jared rolled onto his side and snuggled himself into Jensen’s body as they recovered in silence. 

“You know, I brought the small one too,” Jared started, trailing his fingertips over Jensen’s bicep. Jensen tensed a little, wondering why Jared was bringing it up. “In case you wanted to…”

“Oh, so you’ve been sticking your dick in something long enough to think you can stick it in me next, huh?” Jensen smirked. Jared looked up at him with tired eyes. 

“You don’t want something special that only I give you?” he asked. 

“Jared, you’ve let your wife fuck your ass with a dildo,” Jensen pointed out, amused. 

“It’s not the same, why do you think the two times it’s happened I came crawling back to you. It’s different having something real in there - having _you_ in there,” Jared explained. 

“And it’s different with you, baby, you already give me something no one else can,” Jensen explained softly. “You give me this, not the sex, but the vulnerability and the intimacy.” Jared swallowed and nodded, like he finally understood what Jensen was saying. 

“For a top you really are quite a girl sometimes,” Jared scoffed. Jensen laughed for a moment as Jared rolled onto his back and Jensen propped his head up on his elbow. He grew serious again as he stared at Jared. 

“One day, the world's gonna know how undeniably in love with you I am,” he told him. 

Jared smiled softly, grabbing Jensen’s hand before saying, “I don’t know, I think I like keeping this our little secret.” 

**THE END**


End file.
